I LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 1 



f [SMITHSONIAN DEPOSIT.] 



! UNITED STATES OP AMERICA f 



THE 



CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC*. 



MEMBER OF THE BAR 



c . 






BY 



REY. MAXWELL PIERSON GADDIS, 

AUTHOR OF " FOOT-PRINTS OF AN ITENERANT," " SACRED 
HOUR," AND "BRIEF RECOLLECTIONS." 



"I WORK FOR GOD AND GOOD/ 1 







PUBLISHED BY SWORMSTEDT & POE. 

FOR THE AUTHOR. 

1858. 






Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1858, 

BY REV. MAXWELL P. CADDIS, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District of Ohio. 



STEREOTYPED BY JOHN K. GERHARD, 

At the Religious Telescope Office, Dayton, 0. 



PREFACE. 

My first attempt at authorship was " The 
Foot Prints of An Itinerant," an autobiographi- 
cal work which was issued in the fall of 1855. 
It contained so many family and personal 
reminiscences, that at the time of composing it, I 
had not even conceived the idea of giving it to 
the public during my life-time. 

I yielded, however, to the wishes of kind 
friends in whose judgment I had the greatest 
confidence, so far as to change my original de- 
sign, and to superintend its publication myself. 
In this way I was providentially led, as I now 
believe, to a resort to the pen — and to look to 
the profits arising from my literary labors for a 
livelihood. And thus far I have had no cause 
to complain that my humble efforts have not 
been appreciated by the church and a generous 
public. The aggregate number of volumes 
already issued, of the " Offering," " Foot 
Prints," " Sacred Hour" and " Brief Recollec- 
tions," amount to "twenty-five thousand." 

iii 



IV PREFACE. 

While unable to preach, I still feel impelled 
to write. And believing as I now do, that of all 
the various forms of useful books, taste and 
inclination lead many persons to give a decided 
preference to works of a biographical character 
for their effect in the way of example, and 
as affording an interesting style of communi- 
cating moral and religious knowledge, fn a way 
that comes home directly to the heart, I have 
taken a mournful pleasure for the last few years, 
in laboring according to the best of my ability 
in this instructive and highly profitable field 
of religious literature. It is a pleasing task, 
and a sacred duty that we owe to the memory 
of pre-eminently good and holy men, as well as 
to posterity, to hand down to subsequent gene- 
rations those illustrious examples of purity, 
goodness, and truth — the " great lights" of the 
Christian Church. 

The materials to make up the biographical 
sketch of Charles R. Baldwin, which is here re- 
corded, have been collected from widely different 
sources. And although not so complete as 
could be wished, they are sufficient to show the 
powerful work of God, through the agency of 
the Holy Spirit, upon a man of a strong, clear 
intellect — together with the " instrumental 



PREFACE. V 

means " employed in his complete deliverance 
from the fascinating mazes of skepticism. 

It has been the design of the author to let 
Mr. Baldwin speak for himself — hence are 
given letters and extracts from his journal and 
private papers in various forms. These exhibit 
his true sentiments and real character, the 
depths of his feelings, and entire consecration 
to his work, more concisely and far more fully 
than the ablest biographer otherwise possibly 
could do. I acknowledge with pleasure my 
indebtedness to those family friends who have 
so kindly responded to my numerous inquiries 
touching his private character, habits, and social 
relations. And especially my heartfelt thanks 
are due to his widow, Mrs. Ann E. Baldwin, 
who has so promptly furnished me with the 
most interesting and valuable materials for 
the work. 

Mr. Baldwin was of a highly respectable 
family and well educated — a man of superior 
intellectual endowments, a highly gifted attor- 
ney, floating on a tide of great worldly prosperity, 
and standing high in the estimation of his fel- 
low citizens. But immediately after his conver- 
sion to God, he brought all his worldly honors 
pn& laid them down at the feat of JWn* nnd 



VI PREFACE. 

consecrated his powers of mind and heart to the 
service of his Divine Master. 

With what noble, and conscientious deter- 
mination he withdrew from the honorable, 
and to him lucrative profession of the law, and 
devoted himself to the great work of " saving 
souls from death," let the following unadorned 
recitals show to the world. "A thousand 
volumes in a thousand tongues, enshrine the 
lessons of experience. Yet a man may read 
them all and go forth none the wiser." Yet I 
am sure the careful reader can not peruse these 
pages, especially those written by the lamented 
Baldwin's own hand, without feeling himself 
religiously elevated, his heart "strangely warm- 
edj " and his soul fired anew with a holy ambi- 
tion to imitate the noble example of the 
"good and great." 

Maxwell P. Gaddis. 

West End, Dayton, July 10, 1858. 



CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER I. 

Mountain Home Nativity: — 

Description of Stockbridge — Bird's Eye 
View — Charles R. Baldwin — Romantic 
Birth Place. 13 

CHAPTER II. 

Early Mental Culture: — 

A Precocious Youth — A new Fire Burn- 
ing — Scholarly Attainments. - - - - 20 

CHAPTER III. 

His Legal Practice: — 

Profession of Law — His Examination — 
First Appearance at the Bar — Flattering 
Prospects — " Logan Chief. " - - - 27 

CHAPTER IV. 
Orations and Addresses: — - - - 34 



Vlll CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER V. 

Moral and Religious Habits: — 

Rites of Confirmation — Hume on Mira- 
cles — Well directed Appeals. - 58 

CHAPTER VI. 

Sandy Foundation Shaken : — 

Unhappy state of Mind — Snare of the 
Devil — Prej udices against Religion — 
Debating with a Universalist. - - - 68 

CHAPTER VII. 

Conversion from Skepticism: — 

Card playing — Wine drinking Compan- 
ions — Reading the Bible — First sincere 
Prayer — A Legal Christian — Witness of 
Adoption. 79 

CHAPTER VIII. 

His Entrance on the Ministry: — 
Saul among the Prophets — Profession 
Abandoned— Consecration — Licensed to 
Preach — In full Harness — Departure 
from Charleston — Gralliopolis. - - - 98 



CONTENTS. ix 

CHAPTER IX. 

His Second Marriage: — .... 105 

CHAPTER X. 

Chosen in the Furnace: — 

Life's Sunny Hours Changed to Gloom — 
Refined as Silver. 112 

CHAPTER XI. 

My Most Eventful Year: — 

Without Hope — A Houseless Wanderer — 
My Cup Runneth Over. - - - - 124 

CHAPTER XII. 

What is Your Faith: — 

Letters to a Skeptic — Fatally Deceived 
— Without Chart or Compass — Death-bed 
Terrors — Beware of Pride. - - - - 137 

CHAPTER XIII. 

His Word of Testimony: — - - - 157 

CHAPTER XIV. 
Life's Happiest Hours: — ... 171 



X CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER XV. 

Objections Calmly Considered: — 

Sincerity of Motives — The Unlettered 
Son of a Carpenter — A Prophet not with- 
out Honor — Grace to Purify — A Dying 
Brand — Additional Artillery. - - - 184 

CHAPTER XVI. 

Recounts His Life and Conversion : — 

Extraordinary Changes-— Christ our Peace 
— Reversing the Rule — Degree of Com- 
fort — Aching Void — Jesus our Pilot. - 196 

CHAPTER XVII. 

The Home Circle: — 

Domestic and Social Ties — His Compan- 
ions — Miss Truslow — Miss Lewis — Miss 
Baldwin — His Affection — Fidelity — Chil- 
dren — Only Daughter — Mrs. Patton — 
Beautiful Letter. 210 

CHAPTER XVIII. 
His Communion with God:— - - - 223 






CONTENTS. XI 

CHAPTER XIX. 

His Manner of Preparation for the 
Pulpit : — 

His Prayerfulness — His Conduct with the 
Family — Prayer in the Study — Writing 
Sermons. 232 

CHAPTER XX. 

Fraternal Letters: — 

To Rev. Wm. Young — Advice to a Peni- 
tent—Mrs. Agnes Sehon — A Dispensation 
of Mercy — Rev. Jno. F. Gray — Courage 
my Brother — Abraham Lasley — Longing 
to Impart Spiritual Gifts — Preaching 
from a Sense of Duty — Enjoyments on 
the Increase. 241 

CHAPTER XXI. 

Instant in Season : — 

The Chamber of Sickness — Resting in 
False Hope — A Faithful Warning — Fer- 
vent Prayer — Pluck a Brand out of the 
Fire — Happy Scenes — "Going from House 
to House." 259 



XU CONTENTS. 

i 

CHAPTER XXII. 

Withhold not thy Hand : — 

In the Morning Sow thy Seed — History 
of Mary T : — Young and easily Ex- 
cited — Converted— Countenance Expres- 
sive — Rapid Decline — Profitable Reflec- 
tions. - - - - 264 

CHAPTER XXIII. 

I have Finished my Course : — 

Returned to Parkersburgh — Female Semi- 
nary — His last Sickness — A Clear Sky — 
Sermon in Affliction — Happy Frame of 
Mind — Location in Heaven — Victory ! 
Victory!! - - - 273 

CHAPTER XXIV. 

A Brief Retrospect: — 

Personal appearance — Manner of Preach- 
ing — Plain and Forcible — A Good Pastor 
— Testimony of Rev. E. H. Field — 
Trumpet Speaks no More. - - - - 296 



\ 



CONVEKSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

MOUNTAIN HOME NATIVITY. 
CHAPTER I. 

In New England, Berkshire county, Massa- 
chusetts, there is a town of the name of Stock- 
bridge, which has been noted for a long time 
as the shrine of the pilgrim and the theme of 
the poet. This lovely village was incorporated 
as far back as 1739, and doubtless took its 
name from the celebrated town of Stockbridge 
in "Old England," which it is said by trav- 
elers to resemble in a striking manner. I am in- 
debted to a curious and authentic little work, by 
the late Miss E. F. Jones, called "Stockbridge, 
Past and Present," for the following historic 
facts and minute description of the mountain 
home nativity, or birth-place of the hero of this 
unostentatious little volume. 



14 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

Stockbridge was originally settled by the 
Housatonic Indians, or the " people of the 
continual flowing waters." A mission station 
was established among them in the year 1734, 
by the Kev. John Sergeant, of Newark, New 
Jersey, who, at the time, was a tutor in Yale 
College, New Haven. A church and school 
house was erected at the mission in Stockbridge 
and opened for religious services on Thanks- 
giving Day, Nov. 29, 1739. It stood on the 
green a few rods north-east of the present 
" South Church." It must have been erected 
of excellent materials, and as evidence of its 
firmness, the frame work is still used in a barn 
several rods west of its original location. The 
town is beautifully situated. It seems cradled 
in mountains. The scenery is wild and ro- 
mantic. On the south are bold peaks, and the 
more western part of Monument Mountain, so 
named by the English a long time ago, from 
the cone-shaped pile of stones upon its southern 
slope, but by the Indians called Maus-wos-see- 
khi, or Fisher's Nest. On the west is Stock- 



DESCRIPTION OF STOCKBRIDGE. 15 

bridge Mountain, and on the north the Battle- 
snake of the English, called by the Indians, 
Deow-kook, or Hill of the "Wolves. This 
mountain is two miles in length, and is en- 
tirely within the limits of the town, though 
quite on its northern border. It contains a 
cave of some interest, although its surface is 
easily tilled. In the south-east, Beartown 
Mountain extends to a considerable distance ; 
but to the east the land stretches off several 
miles, as if to let in the morning — and between 
Beartown and a low range beyond, another val- 
ley opens to the east. The grounds are undu- 
lating, and the village t)f Lee lying in the lower 
parts of the first named, is overlooked, so that 
the eye rests upon the high mountain range 
in the eastern part of the county, whose patches 
of wood and of cultivation form an agreeable 
alternation. Within this cradle, the village 
occupies a position south-east from central. 
West of this is Glen Dale ; East street runs to 
the north and is in the north east part of the 
town ; and Curtisville lies in the north-west 



16 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

part between Stockbridge Mountain and the 
Mountain Mirror. Within the town are vari- 
ous hills, which possess more or less beauty. * 
Among these is the one south of the Academy, 
upon which Arnold was burned in effigy, called 
Laurel Hill, which in the Indian tongue would 
be, Aum-hoo-ne-moo-seek. It stands almost 
in the heart of the village, and in the season 
of bloom is a most beautiful object. Esquire 
Fields' description is most graphic : 

" Or wanders 'mid yon laurel bowers, 
Whose blushing beauty clothes the hill, 

As though a very snow of flowers 

Had fallen from heaven and lay there still." 

The Housatonic river winds among the 
meadows, as its name denotes. It rises in 
Windsor, on the east ; and Lanesborough Pond 
on the north ; these two streams unite in Pitts- 
field. In Stockbridge the river is five or six 
rods wide, and averages between two and three 
feet deep. Its curves are beautiful ; particu- 
larly one called the " Ox-bow." The best 
view of the village is from " The Hill," 



bird's-eye view. 17 

which rises north of the village. But we are 
informed that no one can see all Stockbridge 
until he has taken the bird's-eye view to be ob- 
tained from the top of the house formerly own- 
ed by Dr. West. It is said that an old African 
woman, who used occasionally to work at Dr. 
West's, would go, when her work was done, 
and sit upon the stairs leading from the upper 
garret to the roof, " because it was so near to 
heaven." But if near to heaven is synony- 
mous with away from earth, it is one of the 
last places we should think of selecting for 
such a reason ; for one seems there in the very 
center of created beauty. It is not self-praise, 
says Miss Jones, for us to talk thus of our own 
valley. It came from the hand of its Creator, 
fashioned for a canvas, and since the hand of 
art has been employed in painting its surface, 
His skill has guided every woodman and every 
builder, that all should be arranged in symme- 
try, where symmetry was to be desired, and 
beautiful disorder where confusion would add 

a charm. It is not our palaces, our parks, our 

2 



18 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

temples, or our artistic lakes and glens \ we 
have none of these ; but it is that He who is 
excellent in counsel and wonderful in working, 
has vouchsafed to paint a picture here which is 
ever redolent of praise. And may it be, that 
not from earth alone shall rise that savor, 
which mind — elevated, sanctified mind, should 
ever give. 

Stockbridge has been long and favorably 
known for its morality, general intelligence, 
and educational facilities. It was the residence 
of "bravo hearts," in the time of the Revolu- 
tionary struggle — the home of noble and patri- 
otic men, 

" In days of auld lang syne." 

The names of such men as Edwards, West, 
Dwight, Woodbridgc, Sergeant, and the Sedg- 
wicks, are associated with its interesting and 
classic history. If, as Washington Irving has 
truthfully said, it is an advantage to a man to 
be born at the foot of a lofty mountain, or on 
the banks of a rolling stream — that his mind 
would necessarily be expanded by the sublime 



CHARLES R« BALDWIN. 19 

and picturesque scenery around him, Mr. 
Charles E. Baldwin possessed rare and singular 
advantages above many of his peers. And the 
sequel will most certainly convince every can- 
did reader that he faithfully improved all the 
facilities of his romantic birth-place and youth- 
ful mountain home, for the development of his 
mental and moral powers, and that he made a 
diligent use and wise improvement of all the 
means of instruction afforded him in early life 
by a gracious and benignant Providence. 



EARLY MENTAL CULTURE. 
CHAPTER II. 

Of tlie early childhood and mental training of 
Charles R. Baldwin, I have obtained but little 
information. Fortunately, however, among his 
papers a short record has been found, containing 
an important memorandum written by himself, 
in which he says : " I was born in Stockbridge, 
Berkshire county, Massachusetts, on the 19th 
of March, 1803. My parents were Clark and 
Phedema Baldwin. I was the youngest of 
twelve children. My mother died on the 23d 
of August, 1805 ; consequently I have no 
recollection of her. I have, however, always 
understood that she was a very pious woman, 
of excellent sense, good mind, and highly 
esteemed by all who knew her. My father was 
a farmer, and I was brought up to labor with 
him on the farm. He was once in affluent 
20 



A PRECOCIOUS YOUTH. 21 

circumstances, but a great deal of sickness in 
his family, with other causes, reduced him quite 
low in worldly goods. I have no recollection 
of the time when I could not read and write. 
In the year 1815, my father exchanged the 
farm on which he lived, for lands on Lake Erie, 
in the State of Ohio, and gave possession of 
the premises, April 1st, 1816. But in con- 
sequence of the sickness of one of my sisters 
he was compelled to remain in Stockbridge. 
He rented one-half of the old homestead and 
garden, and I assisted him in supporting the 
family by manual labor, generally earning from 
seventy-five cents to one dollar per day. The 
winter and following spring I reviewed my 
elementary studies and acquired a knowledge 
of surveying, preparatory to my contemplated 
residence in northern Ohio. During the sum- 
mer of 1817, I labored hard, and perhaps but 
few were more efficient in the corn-field, meadow, 
or harvest-field than myself. I engaged in 
this work the more cheerfully, because my 
brothers had generally left home at the 



22 CONVERSION OP A SKEPTIC. 

age of eighteen or twenty years. My oldest 
brother, Amos Glover Baldwin, was an Episco- 
pal clergyman, my brothers Joseph, Cyrus, 
and Philemon had removed to Virginia, and 
Daniel and George to Ohio. I was the only 
son now left to aid my father in procuring a 
support for the family. In the winter of 1817, 
I could obtain no employment that suited my 
taste ; and a i classical school ? having been 
established under the supervision of Major 
Jared Curtis, an excellent instructor, I became 
a scholar, and for the want of something else 
to study, rather than from any fixed design of 
acquiring a knowledge of the languages, I 
commenced the study of the Latin Grammar. 
The second or third day my preceptor in- 
quired of me if I had not gone through the 
Latin Grammar before. I told him that I had 
not. I finished it in one week, and spent the 
two following weeks in the minor authors; at 
the beginning of the fourth week took up 
Virgil. I learned very rapidly, though my 
memory was not remarkably retentive. At 



A NEW FIRE BURNING. 23 

the end of the twelfth week I had finished the 
twelve books of the iEnead. I now felt a new 
fire burning within me — I was no longer 
content to be an humble farmer. Prompted by 
ambition, I looked forward to a period when 
I might fill the highest office of State. My 
father and sisters, and especially my oldest 
brother and many of my friends indulged the 
most sanguine expectations in regard to my 
future career. They were all anxious to urge 
me forward. 

11 During the summer of 1818, I pursued at 
intervals the remainder of my Latin studies. 
The winter session following, I read the Greek 
Testament. I continued to pursue my studies 
closely during the following summer; went 
through Horace ; I also studied Blair's Lectures 
on Ehetorie, and had daily exercises in com- 
position. I also read with admiration Pope's 
translation of the Iliad, and when only six- 
teen years of age I was considered by my 
acquaintances a good scholar. 

"In the latter end of the summer of 1819, 



24 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

my brother George came home from Ohio, for 
the purpose of removing my father and sisters 
to their new home on Lake Erie. He had been 
absent four years, and I had grown so rapidly 
that he did not recognize me. When we first 
met I was in the post-oifice opening the mail ; 
when he came in he could not identify me. 
Our first interview was exciting and deeply 
affecting. Arrangements were soon made for 
the removal of the family — a tract of land not 
yet sold was disposed of, and some articles sold 
and a few others that were more suitable pur- 
chased — so that by the first of October, 1819, 
everything was in readiness for our departure 
for Ohio. But my place of destination was to 
Virginia, where my brothers Joseph, Cyrus, 
and Philemon had resided for many years. As 
they were wealthy, highly respected, and I 
expected to be soon introduced — if not to move 
in the " higher circles" of society — some extra 
expense was necessarily incurred to set me off 
to the best advantage. This was strongly op- 
posed by brother George on the score of pru- 



SCHOLARLY ATTAINMENTS. 25 

dence, but my sisters urged the necessity of a 
'fine outfit' and pride carried the day." 

During his residence with his brother Joseph 
in Virginia, he continued to prosecute his 
studies with even greater success. Although 
not a college graduate, he was pronounced by 
competent judges a man of good scholarly at- 
tainments. He was a good Greek and Hebrew 
scholar and read the Latin language with great 
ease. He had a precocious mind. His eldest 
brother informs me that young Charles could 
indite a good letter at six years of age. He 
was frequently heard to say himself that he 
had no remembrance of the time that he could 
not read and write. He seemed to learn almost 
by intuition. His perceptive faculties were of 
the most extraordinary character, and the 
powers of his mind were developed early. In 
early life he had an unquenchable thirst for 
literature. When only eighteen years old he 
was employed as tutor in the Winchester Acad- 
emy. He was remarkably exemplary in his 
conduct and outward deportment. While young 



26 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

he was never known to tell a lie, or prevaricate 
on any occasion. 

He was universally esteemed and admired by 
his fellow-citizens, who evinced their apprecia- 
tion of his talents by inviting him to deliver 
an oration on the " Anniversary of "Washing- 
ton's Birth Day/' before he had reached the 
twentieth year of his age. A bright future 
was now before him, and many on that day 
predicted that he would soon stand in the front 
ranks of literature. 



LEGAL PRACTICE. 
CHAPTER III. 

Mr. Baldwin while engaged in the Academy 
at Winchester, determined upon his course of 
life for the future. He made choice of the 
profession of law, and immediately commenced 
the work of preparation. The law seemed 
exactly adapted to his genius and peculiar 
talents. He now resolved to become a member 
of the bar as soon as he could qualify himself 
for the responsible duties of such an honorable 
vocation. It was a matter of great surprise 
to his most intimate friends, that he should 
progress with such rapidity in the study of the 
law, and at the same time attend so faithfully 
to his duties as teacher in the Academy. He 
was enabled in a short period to master the 
fundamental principles of the law, as well as 
the forms and technicalities requisite for ad- 



28 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

mission to practice. All his previous habits 
of thought and logical powers of mind, were 
of great advantage to him in soon acquiring 
a large amount of legal knowledge. 

He always loved to study, and now that he 
felt anxious to become a good lawyer, he ap- 
plied himself with unusual assiduity to the 
study and reading of the course prescribed. 
To the surprise of his acquaintances he soon 
announced himself ready to pass the usual 
ordeal before those whose duty it was to decide 
•upon his competency for the profession of the 
law. The examination was conducted by one 
of the best judges of law in that part of the 
State of Virginia, and was highly satisfactory 
to all present. The judge was astonished at 
the readiness with which he answered the most 
difficult questions proposed by the committee. 

At the close of the examination Mr. 

inquired of Mr. Baldwin how long he had been 
engaged in the study of his profession, "Just 
six months, sir," was the truthful and prompt 
reply of the young aspirant. The judge was 



APPEARANCE AT THE BAR. 29 

amazed, and instantly replied in the following 
complimentary manner : " Well, well, sir, if 
you learn as much more in the next six months, 
you will have as much legal knowledge as I 
possess myself." 

Mr. Baldwin entered upon the practice of 
his profession at Wheeling, Virginia, but did 
not continue there long ; this was* in the year 
1825. While there, he delivered an eloquent 
oration on the 4th of July, at the Flats of 
Grave Creek, which was published by the 
request of the " committee of arrangements." 

In the fall of that same year, or early the 
next spring, he removed to Charleston, Kan- 
awha county, in Western Virginia, and com- 
menced the practice of law amongst strangers. 
Without wealth, or the aid of interested and 
influential friends, he had to rely entirely upon 
his own resources, and untried powers as a 
counselor-at-law, under very unfavorable cir- 
cumstances. The Kanawha bar at that time 
was not inferior to any in the State of Vir- 
ginia, composed of eminent lawyers, such as 



30 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

Hon. Judge Summers, Col. Benjamin H. Smith, 
Col. Joseph Lovell, Judge Josiah L. Fry, 
Judge Matthew Dunbar, James Wilson, and 
others of good legal attainments. 

It was not long, however, until Mr. Baldwin's 
legal and acquired abilities brought him into 
favorable public notice, and put him on equal 
footing with the ablest members of the bar. 
After a successful practice for a few years he 
stood inferior to none, and was generally em- 
ployed in the most important cases in the 
criminal court, by one or the other of the 
parties. He soon rose to a high eminence in 
his profession. He was a great lover of order, 
and very systematic and exact in all his business 
both legal and otherwise. His mind was of 
the highest order, close, discriminating, and 
logical. I have heard it said of him, that if 
his opponents' legal pleadings were not perfect, 
he was sure to detect it, point out the error 
and expose its fallacies, accompanied sometimes 
with a very severe rebuke. He was an able 
debater, and possessed great skill and ingenuity 



SUPERIORITY OF RELIGION. 31 

in managing a case in court. He was greatly 
beloved and respected by the members of the 
bar, and stood deservedly high in the estimation 
of his fellow citizens. 

But few young men were ever favored with a 
more flattering prospect of a brilliant career 
and professional celebrity, than Charles R. 
Baldwin. At the time that he relinquished the 
practice of the law, no man in Western Vir- 
ginia was considered his superior. He had a 
lucrative business and had already accumulated 
a handsome property. The road to still higher 
distinction was now open and plain before him, 
and of this fact he was not ignorant himself, for, 
after entering the ministry, at times when making 
appeals to his hearers to become religious — 
in comparing the superiority of religion over 
earthly things, he would express himself thus : 
" That if the honors of this world were of the 
most value and importance, then he had sacri- 
ficed what was attainable by him, but he did 
not so view it. He considered the claims of 
religion and the smiles of his Savior first^ 



32 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

and counted all things but loss so that he might 
win Christ." And never, perhaps, did any 
uninspired man act more fully on that princi- 
ple, literally giving up all for Christ. "Like 
Moses, who, when he was come to years, re- 
fused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daugh- 
ter; choosing rather to suffer affliction with 
the people of God, than to enjoy the pleas- 
ures of sin for a season, for he had respect 
to the recompense of reward." 

A member of the bar who was intimately 
acquainted with him, remarks : " I was asso- 
ciated with him in the practice of law in the 
courts of Cabell and Logan, for several years 
before he withdrew from the bar, and had a 
favorable opportunity of knowing him as a 
lawyer. Mr. Baldwin was a popular counselor, 
an eloquent and able advocate, and a pleasant 
companion. He was an especial favorite with 
the people of Logan, and, thereby, had acquired 
the appellation of < The Logan Chief.' 

" He was remarkable for his industry and 
fidelity to his clients, and at the time of his 



CHANGE TOO MANIFEST. 33 

conversion, had a liberal share of the practice. 
Although my recollection at this day does not 
allow me to speak of his opinions on Theology, 
yet I do know, that his conversion at that 
time was regarded as one of the most remark- 
able within the circle of my acquaintance. 
But from the moment I first met with him 
after the occurrence, I never had a doubt of 
his sincerity ; the change was too manifest to 
be misunderstood. I would refer you to Col. 
B. Smith, and Hon. Judge Summers, who 
attended the higher courts with him, and others 
at Charleston who knew him better, all of 
whom will bear testimony that Mr. B. was 
highly esteemed by the court and bar, as a 
gentleman and lawyer." 
3 



ORATIONS AND ADDRESSES. 
CHAPTER IV. 

Mr. Baldwin was not only a good pleader, 
but an eloquent speaker. He possessed fine 
oratorical powers ; and had lie continued at the 
bar, would, doubtless, soon have been called 
to a higher position — to fill offices of trust 
and honor in the councils of the nation. He 
delivered a number of addresses and orations 
which were received with the warmest demon- 
strations of applause, and very highly com- 
mended by the secular press. His last address 
before entering on the ministry, was on the 
subject of " African Colonization, " and deliv- 
ered in the Presbyterian Church at Charleston, 
Virginia, July 4th, 1832. This, an able 
oration, contains much information in regard 
to the early history of that philanthropic 
enterprise. A number of his prophetic decla- 
34 



HIS FIRST ORATION. 35 

rations on that day, have been already fulfilled 
to the letter, and form a part of the history 
of our common country. The whole address 
is characterized by good sense and an enlight- 
ened judgment. Mr. Baldwin was a great 
friend of the Colonization scheme, and in 
proof of his sincerity, he manumitted the only 
servant which he eVer owned 

His first oration of which I find any printed 
record, was delivered in the Presbyterian 
Church, on the " Anniversary of Washington's 
Birth Day," February 22d, 1824, in Winchester, 
Virginia, while he was connected with the 
"Winchester Patrick Henry Society." This 
seems to have been an occasion of much more 
than usual interest. The celebration was gotten 
up by the Patrick Henry Society, whose noble 
exertions were seconded by the volunteer com- 
panies of Winchester, and the citizens gen- 
erally. This excellent oration was published 
by the request of the society. The topics in 
this production are various and well connected, 
and embellished with some fine touches of 



36 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

fancy. The prominent events in the history 
of the Father of our country are sketched with 
judgment and with feeling. The sentiments 
on European policy, as directed by the Holy 
Alliance, are those of an American, and patriot, 
while his allusions to down-trodden Greece, 
not only evince the scholar, but the foe to 
oppression and the ardent defender of freedom. 
I cannot forbear making one or two extracts : 
"Assembled this day, my fellow-citizens, to 
offer the humble tribute of our admiration and 
gratitude to the memory of the immortal 
savior and deliverer of his country, by the 
appointment of the Patrick Henry Society, 
it becomes my duty to direct your thoughts 
to those scenes which naturally present them- 
selves to the reflecting mind upon the recur- 
rence of this anniversary, and to point out 
some of the benefits that have resulted to 
mankind from this event which we are now 
commemorating. Associated as this day must 
be in your minds with the glorious anniversary 
of our independence, to which you have been 



NATIONAL FESTIVAL CONSECRATED. 37 

accustomed to perform annual honors — I should 
despair of imparting anything of novelty or 
interest, or even of engaging your attention, 
did I not reflect that the praises of Washington 
are as exhaustless as the love which he bore 
for his country ; and that the humblest effort 
to excite veneration for his character, love for 
his virtues, and gratitude for his services, 
can not but be regarded with an eye of in- 
dulgence by this enlightened audience. There 
is no event in the annals of America more 
worthy of being held in perpetual remembrance 
than the birth of Washington. Besides the 
eternal debt of gratitude we owe him as the 
deliverer of our country, and the founder of 
this mighty republic, these are the consid- 
erations that should induce us to do honor 
to this day. 

NATIONAL FESTIVAL CONSECRATED. 

"On this great national festival, consecrated 
to the purest and most expanded feelings of 
benevolence and patriotism, and to the liveliest 



38 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

feelings of joy and gratitude, in which, we 
are all partakers — we should sacrifice upon the 
altar of our country's good, all party animosi- 
ties, all selfish interests and local prejudices ; 
and unite in doing honor to those brave men, 
who, with their 'hearts, and blood, and dearest 
treasure/ purchased this fair inheritance of 
liberty, in which, as their children, we all have 
a common property. By dwelling upon the 
wisdom, the virtues, and constancy of our 
fathers, we shall not only more duly appreciate 
the value of the services which they rendered, 
and the blessings they secured to us, and feel 
the cord of sympathy bind us more closely 
together, but the contemplation of such exalted 
merit will inspire us with the same magnani- 
mous sentiments that animated their bosoms, 
and by placing such glorious models before our 
eyes, will excite an irresistible desire to follow, 
though at an humble distance, in their illus- 
trious footsteps. We are told that Scipio and 
other noble Romans never gazed upon the 
images of their ancestors, without having their 



CHARACTER OF WASHINGTON. 39 

minds powerfully drawn toward virtue. And 
let me ask, what American can contemplate 
tlie life and character of Washington, without 
being sensible of the presence, and acknowl- 
edging the loveliness of virtue ? 

CHARACTER OF WASHINGTON. 

"The occasion, then, will naturally suggest 
some of the most distinguished and prominent 
features in the life and character of Wash- 
ington. Commencing at the period of mere 
unthinking childhood, we find in him a vigor 
of intellect, a dignity of deportment, and a 
strict regard to truth and justice, that elicit 
our admiration, and which show that the im- 
press of his character was from nature's own 
hand. His manners were frank and concilia- 
ting, his feelings generous, disinterested, and 
his heart warm and sincere. In his fifteenth 
year his chivalrous spirit felt the kindlings 
of a passion for military glory. He resolved 
to enter the naval service, but the tears and 
prayers of his widowed mother, and his strong 



40 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

sense of filial duty, induced him for a while 
to relinquish the pursuit of fame and sacrifice 
his hope of greatness — to the happiness of 
his beloved parent. Here is a picture shaded 
with the softer colors of filial piety, that sets 
human nature in a fairer light, than though 
emblazoned with the splendors of victory, and 
decked with the gaudy pomp of triumph. " 

Many passages in this oration are truly 
beautiful and descriptive, especially the one 
in which he portrays Washington tendering 
his services to execute a most hazardous com- 
mission to the French commandant on the 
Ohio — through immeasurable forests, the gloomy 
haunt, and fearful abode of the murderous 
savage, the hissing serpent, and prowling beasts 
of prey — the safety of his country his object, 
and the God of heaven his guide. 

Mr. Baldwin delivered his second oration 
at the Flats of Grave Creek, below Wheeling, 
July 4th, 1825. This oration was published 
by request of the " committee of arrange- 
ments," and signed by Mr. John B. Roberts, 



THE YEAR OF JUBILEE. 41 

Chairman, and Joseph McLean, Secretary. It 
contains many patriotic and eloquent para- 
graphs. 

THE YEAR OF JUBILEE. 

"In the career of our national existence, 
we have just entered the year of* Jubilee ! 
Let u§ pause and ask ourselves, if, indeed, we 
have cause for rejoicing? Is this great event, 
the Declaration of Independence, worthy to be 
commemorated? Has it increased the stock 
of national happiness and afforded additional 
security to our civil and political rights ? Has 
experience shown that the advantages gained, 
are sufficient to compensate for the services 
which they cost, and may we safely recom- 
mend them to other nations ? " 

These questions were all most ably and 
eloquently answered by Mr. Baldwin. Speak- 
ing of the contrast between the condition of 
our country in 1825, and what it was at the 
time of the revolution, he says : 

" The banks of this beautiful river (Ohio,) 



42 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

then one unbroken forest, the secure lurking 
place of the savage, and the beast of prey, 
now present everywhere the delightful specta- 
cle of nourishing towns and cities, and beauti- 
ful farms teeming with the choicest products 
of our happy clime — affording a comfortable 
subsistence to a numerous and rapidly increas- 
ing population. If we look farther to the 
West the prospect is still more gratifying. 
The overwhelming wave of population has 
flown far beyond the Mississippi, and has 
borne on its bosom the wealth, and learning, 
and refinement of the East. The Father of 
Waters and his tributary streams, have become 
the auxiliaries of commerce, and distribute 
the rare productions of every country, and the 
merchandise of the world, to the countless 
thousands who have settled along their banks. 
Villages and cities have everywhere sprung up 
as by enchantment. The spirit of improve- 
ment is this moment at work removing the 
obstructions of nature, leveling mountains, 
penetrating the gloomy recesses of the forest, 



EQUALITY OF RIGHTS. 43 

conyerting the barren wilderness into a fruitful 
field, facilitating social and commercial inter- 
course, and diffusing wealth and happiness 
through our widely extended empire. 

EQUALITY OF RIGHTS. 

" Whence all these wonderful changes ? 
"Whence these mighty improvements ? Whence 
these rapid strides toward national greatness 
and grandeur? Whence but to the influence 
of national liberty ? To the freedom of thought 
and action? To mild and wholesome laws which 
secure to every man the fruits of his labor; the 
undisturbed enjoyment of his acquisitions? 
Whence but to the natural operation of those 
principles which the Declaration of our In- 
dependence has unfolded? But if our progress 
in wealth and population is a subject of pride 
and exultation in the development of our 
moral and intellectual energies, we have the 
most abundant cause for gratulation. Our 
government is based upon the virtue and 
intelligence of the people ; and our experience 



44 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

has thus far shown that it rests upon a sure 
foundation. The ruling principle that governs 
all our institutions is, ' equality of rights. 1 
Under our constitution, the energies of the 
American people have been fully developed. 
In a government of the people, where every 
man feels an interest in the proper conduct and 
management of public affairs, talents united 
with integrity cannot long remain concealed. 

CHANGES IN" EUROPE. 

" Turn your eyes toward the other side of 
the Atlantic, and mark the mighty changes 
which within the last forty years have taken 
place in Europe. The French revolution follow- 
ed upon the heels of our own — kingdoms have 
since been convulsed; empires have tottered 
upon their bases ; thrones have crumbled into 
ruins ; tyrants have been prostrated in the 
dust, and the whole civilized world has been 
shaken to its center. Who can deny that 
these tremendous struggles for ascendency 
between light and darkness, between knowledge 



A GOVERNMENT OF COMPROMISE. 45 

and ignorance, between liberty and despotism, 
between the desire to enslave and the desire 
to be free; — who can deny that the progress 
of knowledge is gradually undermining the 
foundations of tyranny, and approximating 
kings and subjects to that equality which the 
God of nature has established? Who can deny 
that these wonderful events have grown more 
or less out of the American revolution ? The 
attitude of the United States is solemn and 
imposing. We stand forth to the contempla- 
tion of the whole world. The example of our 
government, of our laws, of our opinions, is 
held up to universal attention, and has already 
made proselytes in every civilized nation on 
the globe. The force of this moral engine has 
already effected wonders, and is yet destined 
to revolutionize the world. 

A GOVERNMENT OF COMPROMISE. 

" The convulsions of Europe are not yet 
ended. The blood of the murdered Eiego 
was not spilled in vain. The altar of lib- 



46 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

erty is yet smoking with the sacrifice, and the 
republican soil of Spain will nourish and 
bring to a more perfect maturity, seeds of 
patriotism already planted there. The wounds 
of revolutionary France may yet bleed afresh, 
and her infatuated monarch may lament — too 
late — that he did not profit by the tragic ex- 
ample of the misguided Louis XVI. Heaven 
avert these direful portents ! The progress 
of truth is irresistible, its convictions have 
flashed an ill-omened glare upon the destinies 
of Europe, and monarchs who have shut 
their eyes upon the " signs of the times," may 
be awakened to a painful consciousness of 
their real situation, when the storm is raging 
around them, and pouring its fury upon their 
defenseless heads. " 

Mr. Baldwin closed his oration in these 
words : " Ours is a government of com- 
promise — IT CAN BE SUSTAINED ONLY BY 
MUTUAL FORBEARANCE AND MODERATION. Is 

there one among you who would subvert the 
principles of the constitution, who would 



HIS THIRD ORATION. 47 

destroy the fabric of social order, who feels no 
interest in the prosperity of his state, who 
participates not in its glories, who has no 
desire to see perpetuated its well-earned honors, 
who would not even lay down his life to 
preserve those rights which our fathers bled 
to redeem, and died that they might transmit, 
unimpaired, to their posterity ? 

" Go, mark him well, 

For him no minstrels raptures swell ; 
High tho' his titles, proud his name, 
Boundless his wealth as wish might claim, 
Despite those riches, power and pelf, 
The wretch contented, all in self 
Living shall forfeit all renown, 
And doubly dying, shall go down 
To the vile dust, from whence he sprung, 
Unwept, unhonored, and unsung." 

The third and most eloquent oration of Mr. 
Baldwin, was delivered at Mercer Academy, 
Charleston, Virginia, on the 4th of July, 1827: 
"The birth day of American liberty has again 
dawned. Once more we are assembled to com- 
memorate with suitable demonstrations of grat- 
itude and joy, the great event which gave 



48 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

us a ' separate and equal station among the 
powers of the earth/ We are come together 
to testify our respect and veneration for the 
founders of the Republic, to record our attach- 
ment to the principles which they promulgated, 
to profit by the lessons of wisdom which they 
taught, and to renew the solemn pledges of 
patriotism which they redeemed with their 
blood." 

In this concise and eloquent manner the 
oration begins, and after retracing our early 
history, the interesting struggle which gave 
birth to our independence, Mr. Baldwin ex- 
hibits with the hand of a master the con- 
sequences of that decisive act in the unex- 
ampled prosperity and happiness which we still 
enjoy. On inquiring into the causes of our 
unparalleled growth and prosperity, he remarks: 

"Ours is a government of equal rights and 
equal laws. With us there is no inequality of 
rank, no ennobling or degrading distinctions 
which are not founded upon personal consider- 
ations. Hereditary names, family alliances, 



THE PATH TO GLORY OPEN. 49 

and splendid names, constitute with us no 
claims to political distinction. The path to 
glory lies equally open to the nameless child 
of penury, as to the favored voluptuary of 
fortune. He has the same inducements, the 
same inspiring hopes to call forth his latent 
abilities, to incite him to vigorous exertion, 
and to spur him onward in the race of intel- 
lectual improvement. The consequences of 
this equality have been auspicious to the in- 
dividual and to national advancement. On all 
sides we have seen genius and talent emerging 
from the obscurity of humble station, and 
rising to the highest offices of power and dis- 
tinction. Our common country claims and 
rewards the services of all her children. With 
the field of competition so broad, with the 
list of aspirants so formidable, with such pow- 
erful incentives to exertion, it need not be a 
subject of surprise that such numbers of highly 
gifted minds have come forward upon the 
theatre of intellectual operation — whose com- 
bined knowledge, zeal, and patriotism, have 
4 



50 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

contributed to raise our country to such an 
exalted pitch of greatness and glory. Every 
man is permitted to adopt whatever profession 
or calling in life which best comports with 
his interest or inclination. Here is furnished 
every motive to action. Talent and enterprise 
find their appropriate rewards. 

THE SPIRIT OF ENTERPRISE. 
"To the bold and restless spirit of enterprise 
which liberty fosters, and to the mild and 
protecting character of our laws, may be traced 
the rapid increase of wealth, and the wonderful 
improvements which our country every where 
exhibits. That spirit is still at work — con- 
quering space and time, removing the barriers 
which nature has opposed to friendly and 
commercial intercourse, and bringing remote 
places and countries into the same neighbor- 
hood. Science has come down from among 
the stars, and become the hand-maid of indus- 
try — the nurse of commerce — the instructress 
of the arts of civilized life. Who shall assign 
bounds to her discoveries ? 



TRUE PROPHETIC KEN. 51 

"Who shall limit their application to the 
practical purposes of life ? If we take past 
experience for our guide, we may safely con- 
clude that so far from having attained her 
culmination, she has but commenced her dawn 
upon the world.' , 

A REMARKABLE FORESHADOWING. 

Mr. Baldwin then remarks with true pro- 
phetic ken : " We may live to see even greater 
things accomplished. The day may not be far 
distant, when the proud Alleghanies shall bow 
to the genius of internal improvement, and 
stand in their humiliation a monument of the 
triumphs of scientific power over physical 
nature — when the metropolis of our own State 
shall he but one day's remove from us, and the 
dwellers upon the, banks of the Mississippi 
become the neighbors of those who inhabit the 
seaboard. This may be called enthusiasm — 
anything but probability ; and yet within the 
present century, the realities of the present day 
were deemed even more absurd and chimerical." 



52 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

I will close this notice with one extract 
more, upon the subject of the establishment of 
our "free school system/' and the distribution 
of the funds provided for the instruction of 
the poor, affording them a sufficient education 
for the ^ordinary business and intercourse of 
life. 

THE FRUITS OF THIS SYSTEM. 

"The fruits of this wise system," Mr. Bald- 
win remarks, "is every where apparent. Labor 
directed by skill is proportionably more pro- 
ductive. Knowledge is power. The means 
and resources of a community are multiplied 
in proportion as their understandings are in- 
formed, and their judgments rendered less 
liable to be imposed upon. Justly appreciating 
the influence of education, in inspiring correct 
principles, in refining the taste, in liberalizing 
the feelings, in enlightening the understanding, 
and opening to the mind more healthful sources 
of enjoyment, we seek to plant the conservative 
principle deep in the intellectual soil. We 



LIPS OF PERSUASION. 53 

know that the first impressions upon the infant 
mind are derived from the mother; that to 
her is committed the delicate task of teaching 
the young idea how to shoot — that the earliest 
lessons of virtue are taught by maternal lips ; 
that the character is in a great measure formed 
by the precepts which are first instilled, and 
the examples which are first set before it; 
and we endeavor by all the means which learn- 
ing and science can afford, to render the female 
sex worthy of the high destiny to which they 
are called. We desire that as nature has 
been prodigal to their persons, education and 
knowledge may give a correspondent beauty 
and elegance, and an attractive charm to their 
minds; that the eye which sparkles with 
vivacity, may beam with intelligence ; that 
the features which are robed in loveliness, 
may be animated with thought; that the lips 
which nature has touched with persuasion, 
may breathe pure and virtuous sentiments ; 
that the influence which females justly possess 
in every enlightened community, may, in ours, 



54 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

be exerted to beneficent purposes ; and that 
those who are ornaments of society, may be 
also its pillars and support. 

"It is the peculiarity of our system of 
education, that it visits the lowliest abodes of 
poverty — it searches out with magnetic instinct 
whatever of latent genius and talent the country 
possesses ; it draws humble merit from the 
obscurity of its situation into the sunshine 
of public view ; it arouses the slumbering 
energies of mind into action, and gives an 
impulse and a right direction to abilities which 
else had remained dormant and motionless 
forever. In other countries, not blessed with 
a similar institution, where the means of educa- 
tion are afforded only to a few, many a child 
of genius lives and dies in obscurity, 

" Whose hands the rod of empire might have swayed, 
Or wak 'dto ecstasy the living lyre." 

A NEW INTEREST IMPARTED. 

"A new interest has been imparted to this 
day. The fiftieth anniversary of American 



JEFFERSON AND ADAMS. 55 

liberty dawned upon two illustrious patriots, 
vrho had contributed largely to the independ- 
ence of their country; and who, more than 
any others then living, were the objects of 
their country's best affections and warmest 
gratitude. The one was the author of the 
Declaration ; and the other, its ablest supporter 
and boldest advocate. They had each attained 
the highest executive office in the government. 
On the jubilee of American freedom — the very 
day which they themselves had immortalized, 
while a nation was joining in one universal 
chorus of thankfulness and praise to its great 
deliverers, the souls of Jefferson and Adams, 
satisfied with the retrospect of half a century, 
winged their way together to the regions of 
immortal bliss. The one departed at the very 
moment when his name and his works were 
the theme of eulogy on every tongue; and 
the spirit of his great compatriot lingered 
only to catch the last strain of gratitude which 
was wafted upon the evening breeze, when 
he, too, took his ethereal flight. Wonderful 



56 CONVERSION OP A SKEPTIC. 

coincidence! Who does not recognize the 
hand of Providence in this? Who could have 
wished for his country's friends and benefactors 
a more glorious and happy exit ? * * * # 
The day is now complete. Death has placed 
upon it the last seal of immortality and con- 
secrated it to the affections, as it was before 
to the admiration of mankind. Hitherto, the 
sensations excited by its return, were of an 
unmixed joy. The American patriot, as the 
glad light of it saluted his eyes, thought only 
of liberty, of deliverance from foreign oppres- 
sion by our venerated sires. But, hereafter, 
the tear of chastened regret shall suffuse his 
eye, as he remembers that on this day, too, 
the mighty spirits of Jefferson and Adams 
ceased to maintain a visible connection with 
this world. The cypress shall bend with the 
laurel, and strains of sorrow shall mingle with 
the festive songs of exultation and joy. 
Henceforward, 

"With one auspicious and one drooping eye," 

shall the American patriot perform the solemn 



JEFFERSON AND ADAMS. 57 

rites of this anniversary, and the swell of 
proud and grateful emotion with which he 
dwells upon the charter of his country's liber- 
ties, shall be chastened and subdued into a 
feeling of tender sorrow, as he recollects that 
the bold hand which traced, and the eloquent 
lips which pleaded her independence, were, 
on this day, motionless and sealed forever." 



MORAL AND RELIGIOUS HABITS. 
CHAPTER V. 

The parents of Mr. Baldwin were members 
of the Episcopal Church in Stockbridge, Massa- 
chusetts. His mother was a devoted christian, 
and had her children all dedicated to God 
in early life. She died, however, before young 
Charles was quite three years old. When very 
small, his mind was enlightened by the Holy 
Spirit, and he often felt inclined to give his 
tender heart to the Savior. Time, however, 
gradually effected a change in his moral feel- 
ings. Worldly pleasures and wicked associa- 
tions grieved the Holy Spirit, and gradually 
erased nearly all serious impressions from his 
mind and heart. It is true that occasionally 
an alarming providence, such as the death 
of a young companion, or a heart searching 

sermon would arouse his conscience, and excite 
58 



RITE OF CONFIRMATION. 59 

in him for a short season an earnest desire 
to " flee from the wrath to come." But these 
convictions for sin were generally of short 
duration, "like the morning cloud and early 
dew." The continued resistance of the Holy 
Ghost soon left him more confirmed in rebel- 
lion against God, and at a greater moral 
distance from his "father's house." 

In his intercourse and dealings with the 
world, he was strictly honest, and in his out- 
ward deportment generally upright. Having 
been baptized in infancy and taught to observe 
the forms and ceremonies of religion from a 
child, at times he imagined he was " better 
than other men." At the age of eighteen 
years he received the " rite of confirmation " 
in the Episcopal Church, at Winchester, Vir- 
ginia. Lest I might be charged with giving 
an improper coloring to this event in his 
history, I will state it in his own language : 
" This act was more out of respect to the 
memory of my deceased father, than for any 
regard which I had for religion or for that 



60 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

'ordinance.' For a few days previous to my 
confirmation / tried to feel solemn, and repeat- 
ed over some forms of prayer on my -knees, 
but my heart was not engaged in the work, 
even when kneeling at the altar to receive 
the ' imposition of hands/ When I left the 
church, I left all my religious impressions 
behind — joined my gay associates, and in a 
few months became intoxicated. In a few 
years I became habitually addicted to many 
fashionable vices — odious in the sight of God, 
though not regarded in that light by the moral 
part of the community in which I then lived." 
How dangerous to trust to a mere form 
of religion while the heart remains unchanged. 
The Church with all its forms and ceremonies 
can not regenerate the heart. Alas ! how 
many thus enter within her pale whose lips 
and hearts are unclean, and continue to pursue 
the same selfish ends as before. Of such St. Paul 
thus speaks in his letter to Timothy : " Lovers 
of pleasure more than lovers of God; having 
a form of godliness, but denying the power 



HUME ON MIRACLES. 61 

thereof; from such turn away." — 2 Tim. 3 : 4, 5. 
The course pursued by our young friend at 
this period of life, was calculated to harden 
his heart and blind the mind to the light of 
truth. He was now drifting with the current 
of worldly pleasure, and following the desires 
of the flesh " without let or hindrance." He 
was soon prepared by such a course of training 
to fall an easy prey to the snares of Satan. 
He was willing and ready to embrace any 
system of " philosophy, so called," or false 
religious opinions that would hush the voice 
of conscience, quench the strivings of the 
Spirit, and banish from the mind all serious 
thoughts of death and the terrors of the 
"judgment to come." Unfortunately for him 
at this critical juncture, he was persuaded 
to read "Hume on Miracles." Having pre- 
viously forsaken God and hardened his own 
heart by rejecting the truth, he was soon led 
captive by the sophistries of this cunning 
infidel writer. His faith in the christian Scrip- 
tures and the religion of his fathers was power- 



62 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

fully shaken, and not long afterwards he pro- 
claimed his " skepticism " to his friend — and 
it was not long before he denied the depravity 
of the human heart, and the necessity of the 
atonement. 

He professed to believe and inculcate the 
doctrine that it was possible for man to reinstate 
himself in the favor of God, and by the mere 
reformation of his outward conduct independ- 
ent of any supernatural agency. Hear his 
own statements on this subject: 

" To me the * preaching of the Cross was 
foolishness.' If there was any such a thing as 
religion, I supposed it to consist in mere amend- 
merit of life — a rigid adherence to moral duties 
coupled with the observance of the mere ex- 
ternal forms of devotion. I could not com- 
prehend how the heart of man could be changed, 
even if a change was necessary. I therefore 
disbelieved in the agency of a Holy Ghost. 
I opposed and denounced all orthodox churches; 
but the Methodist Church I despised above 
all others. I regarded her members as the 



WELL DIRECTED APPEALS. 63 

very ' filth and ofFscouring of the world/ What 
they called ' conversion,' I supposed was noth- 
ing but an undue excitement, produced ordin- 
arily by powerful and well directed appeals 
to the passions, and the noise and excitement 
of their meetings operating simply on weak 
nerves. And what they termed l conversion ' 
or a ' change of heart ' as they professed to 
receive it, I thought was simply the change 
experienced by the dying away of that excite- 
ment — the calm that usually succeeds the 
storm — or the removal of the cause, etc., etc. 
Such I tried to persuade myself was the religion 
of the Methodists." 

While thus exercised in mind upon the 
subject of the christian religion, he became a 
private tutor in a family of wealth and distinc- 
tion for seven months. I am sorry to be 
compelled to state from the facts before me, 
that his abode with this professed christian 
family had a tendency to strengthen him in 
his skepticism and to increase his opposition 
to the doctrines of experimental religion. In 



64 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

speaking of this part of his history, Mr. Bald- 
win remarks as follows : " This family were 
Methodists, and the father had much outward 
zeal. He observed the forms of religion, but 
I have now good reason to believe had none 
of the true and genuine spirit of Christ. I 
then knew but little of the Methodists, and 
my impressions far from being favorable, were 
not changed for the better by my acquaintance 
with this man. I saw in him personal and 
family pride, vanity, petulance, avarice, anger, 
ill-will, and a spirit of resentment — in fact 
almost every thing but the fruits of the Spirit, 
which are meekness, humility, patience, gen- 
tleness, goodness, long-suffering, and truth ; 
the characteristics of all true disciples of 
Christ. The preachers were in the habit of 
stopping at his house ; the table groaned with 
luxuries ; the topics of conversation were not 
religious. I regret to say the deportment of 
some of those ministers who visited that house 
was light and trifling. Surely their conver- 
sation was not \ with grace seasoned with salt 



PICTURE WITH DARK LINING. 65 

good to edifying.' But I forbear to dwell here. 
The picture, although shaded with a dark lining, 
is truthfully drawn. It is very true that 
1 charity that never faileth,' should deter us 
from a censorious spirit, or from harshly 'judg- 
ing others.' Yet it is still true, c By their 
fruits ye shall know them.' " 

What a solemn and instructive lesson we 
are taught in this part of the narrative. We 
see there is a wide difference between a mere 
profession of religion and the daily practice 
of its sacred duties. If religion consisted 
simply in a profession of the belief in the 
existence of God, and imposed no restraints 
upon the actions and passions of men ; if it 
required the performance of no moral duties, or 
self-denial, probably all men would soon be- 
come religious. Alas ! many do not go beyond 
a simple profession, and their conduct is so 
inconsistent with the morality of the gospel 
and the precepts of the Savior, that they fur- 
nish subjects of ridicule for the skeptic and 
infidel. Conduct is the true test of religious 
5 



66 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

character. The question is not what does the 
man profess, but how does he live? Does his 
practical observance of moral duty quadrate 
with his theory of religion. If we would 
honor and recommend religion to our fellow- 
men, we must practice and illustrate its precepts 
in our own lives. We must be kind, generous, 
and benevolent; just in our acts and words. 
We must cultivate the graces of the Spirit, 
and be upright in all the relations of life. If 
we fail to do this, our religion is but an empty 
name. Aye, we are as " sounding brass and 
tinkling cymbal ;" yea, it is worse, our " reli- 
gion is vain," 

The real character of the engraving on the 
seal may easily be determined by the impression 
on the wax. Giving precept is a good thing, 
but living upright before our fellow-men is 
much better. A great part of mankind are 
instructed and more deeply impressed by objects 
which appear to their outward senses, than 
arguments addressed to their understandings. 
A good godly example has done what the most 



SHOCKED AT THE THRESHOLD. 67 

" convincing speech " lias failed to do. Ex- 
emplary christian deportment has led many 
a poor sinner to Christ; while on the other 
hand, many " who were not far from the king- 
dom of God," have been disgusted and shocked 
at the very " threshold," and deterred forever 
from entering in by the light and trifling con- 
duct of some inconsistent professors of religion. 
"And when one shall say unto him: what 
are these wounds in thine hands ? Then shall 
he answer : Those with which I was wounded 
in the house of my friends." — Zech. 13 : 6. 

"How carefal then ought I to live, 

With what religious fear, 
Who such a strict account must give, 

For my behavior here." 



SANDY FOUNDATION SHAKEN. 
CHAPTEK VI. 

At this period in the history of Mr. Bald- 
win, there were seasons of unrest and dis- 
quietude. His mind at times would become 
greatly agitated. Perplexing and harassing 
fears would arise in his soul, despite all 
his philosophy and infidel reasoning. There 
were hours of sober reflection, during which 
he felt himself insecure. Could infidelity suc- 
ceed in destroying the hope of the christian, 
has it anything better to offer as a substitute? 
Nothing that is worthy the consideration of an 
intelligent creature. This solemn thought 
often rested with powerful weight on the heart 
of Mr. Baldwin. He began to realize daily, 
that a state of doubt and uncertainty in regard 
to a future life was a most painful one. He 
felt it difficult to dismiss the whole subject 
68 



AN UNHAPPY STATE. 69 

from his mind, even by engrossing himself 
in the pleasures and business of the world. 
However, he generally spoke and acted in 
reference to the great interest of the salvation 
of the soul, as if there was no hereafter. In 
order to get rid of unpleasant emotions and 
to fortify his own mind in opposing the truth, 
he would occasionally ridicule and make sport 
of the whole subject. In this blind and un- 
happy state he remained for several years. 
Yet such was his outward conduct that only 
his most intimate friends were apprised of the 
distempered state of his soul, and the increas- 
ing alienation of his heart from God. It is 
true, a few of them knew, that at one time 
he was a communicant in the Episcopal Church ; 
but, alas ! he was now an infidel, fearfully 
blinded by the God of this world, and led 
captive at the chariot wheel of Satan. 

But let us adore the goodness of God in 
awakening him to a sense of his true condition. 
On a certain occasion he attended church to 
hear a deeply pious minister preach. The text 



70 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

was, u For what is a man profited if he shall 
gain the whole world and lose his own soul? 
or what shall a man give in exchange for his 
soul?" — Matthew, 16: 26. The Holy Spirit 
assisted the minister, and the word was carried 
with power to the heart of this proud barrister. 
In giving an account of this sermon, Mr. Bald- 
win remarks : H If the sermon demolished my 
skepticism, the prayer which followed it com- 
pletely melted down my proud and obdurate 
heart. I felt as I had not done for many 
years before, and I would at that moment 
have given everything I had for religion — 
such as I had on that occasion conceived it 
to be. But I went away without forming any 
resolution to seek it, and ' straightway forgot 
what manner of man I was.' The same day 
I spent two or three hours with the preacher, 
but the conversation did not turn upon exper- 
imental religion or vital godliness, nor was 
anything said calculated to deepen the convic- 
tions of my mind. I soon felt comfortable in 
my mind again and held on to my old opinions. 



SNARE OF THE TEMPTER. 71 

I finally concluded that the morning exercises 
had been the effect of warm feelings, flowing 
from a heart naturally benevolent, and had 
ceased with the occasion which had called them 
forth." Alas ! how many fall into this fatal 
snare of the tempter. 

REVIVAL INFLUENCE SPREADING. 

Some time after this a revival of religion 
took place in a neighboring village. A great 
many were awakened and a number converted 
to God, among whom were several of Mr. Bald- 
win's acquaintances. In regard to this meeting 
he makes the following statement: 

" I must confess when it was first announced 
I was exceedingly uneasy, and began to fear 
that the power of the Lord might come down 
among us, and that I might be compelled to 
yield. My sandy foundation was shaken ; 
I could not tell what to make of the reports 
which I heard. Subsequently a meeting was 
held in our own place and a number professed 
religion. On Sabbath morning I saw them 



72 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

come forward, and one in particular who had 
been an intimate friend of mine, who exhibited 
a composed and tranquil countenance. I confess 
that I secretly envied him, and thought after 
all that there might be a blessed reality in 
the religion of Jesus Christ." 

At this period our young friend was not 
"far from the kingdom of God." "King 
Agrippa, believest thou the prophets? I know 
that thou believest." Mr. B., however, 
remarks: "I was only 'almost persuaded; 1 I 
felt little or nothing, and unfortunately I 
had no faith in many that I saw professing 
religion. I could perceive no change in them, 
except occasionally an apparent seriousness 
of transient duration. I could see nothing, 
neither could I feel anything at all super- 
natural. Our town soon became as lively as 
it was before the revival. The men seemed 
as worldly-minded and the women gave as 
splendid parties, and soon many of the pro- 
fessors were as gay and thoughtless as ever." 

Such conduct had a very bad effect upon the 



PREJUDICE AGAINST RELIGION. 73 

mind of Mr. Baldwin. Eternity alone will 
reveal the full amount of injury done to the 
cause of the Savior, by the trifling conduct 
and vain conversation of many who profess His 
name before men. ( Neither do men light a 
candle to put it under a bushel but on a 
candlestick.' At this time Mr. B. remarks : 

" Had any one put this question to me — 
' Do you believe in the truth of divine revela- 
tion ? ' I must have answered frankly, I do 
not. The Bible may be true, or it may not; 
I have no decided opinion one way or the 
other. I neither believe nor disbelieve. But 
the tendency of my mind was still against 
religion — experimental religion, I had no con- 
ception what it was, and I did not believe in 
its existence. I thought my chance as good 
for eternity as many who professed religion. 
I had become temperate and moral in my 
outward conduct, I was upright in my deal- 
ings, and seldom used profane language except 
when I was angry, and if I did not keep the 
Sabbath holy, I excused myself from the press- 



74 CONVERSION OP A SKEPTIC. 

ing nature of my business, which made it 
necessary that I should sometimes labor on 
that day. Upon the whole, I regarded myself 
as a very correct and upright man, and I 
fully intended to make myself more so. I 
was a liberal supporter of religion according 
to my means. I attended fashionable places 
of public worship whenever it was convenient. 
I also endeavored to keep on good terms with 
the christian part of the community. My 
unbelief I prudently kept to myself, and 
though not a religious man, I was generally 
regarded as friendly to religion by the religious 
portion of my fellow-citizens.' , 



DEBATING WITH A UNIVERSALIS!". 

On another occasion he attended the church 
of God, when, no doubt, the Holy Spirit was 
silently operating upon his wicked heart. On 
his return home he met with a gentleman 
who was a professed Universalist and a Unita- 
rian in theory. This man immediately took 



A ZEALOUS ANTAGONIST. 75 

exceptions to the sermon. The minister had 
iaid something about eternal punishment which 
displeased him very much, and he attempted 
to explain away those passages of the Holy 
Scriptures which inculcate this doctrine. His 
manner of discussing the subject did not suit 
the logical mind of Mr. Baldwin, and he re- 
marks : " Unbelieving as I was, I could not 
bear to hear the word of God handled deceit- 
fully. Almost unconsciously, I found myself 
immediately warmly engaged in vindicating 
the truth of the doctrines of the gospel. I 
fairly encountered him on his own ground, 
and I then felt that I was c contending for 
the faith once delivered to the saints.' Did 
'God who commanded the light to shine out 
of darkness' then shine into my heart? I 
feel persuaded that he did. i Every one that 
is of the truth/ saith the Savior, ( heareth 
my voice.' Heretofore I had rarely read the 
Scriptures. I now began to study them with 
close attention — for I had a zealous antagonist 
to contend with, and I had too much pride 



76 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

to yield him the victory. In reading the 
Holy Scriptures I often felt a strange influence 
upon me. Sometimes in reading aloud to my 
wife I was choked for utterance, and found 
myself unexpectedly in tears. The trial of the 
faith of Abraham, the story of Joseph, and 
above all, the sufferings of our blessed Re- 
deemer completely dissolved my heart ; my 

SKEPTICAL OPINIONS HAD ALL VANISHED. For 

1 As a dream when one awaketh ; so, Lord, 
when thou awakest thou shalt despise their 
image.' " 

But up to this period he had felt no desire 
to seek the salvation of his soul. Soon after 
debating with the Universalist, he was in 
company with one who disbelieved the doctrine 
of a change of heart, or experimental religion, 
and spoke with great warmth against offering 
prayer to God. He contended that our pray- 
ers were not regarded by the Almighty, much 
less answered; that there was no such thing 
as the operations of the Holy Ghost, and 
that if prayer produced any effect on the 



ABSURD CONCLUSIONS. 77 

feelings, it was a mere moral effect — the result 
simply of pursuing a train of reflections cal- 
culated in their nature to soothe and tranquilize 
the mind. Mr. Baldwin said in reply, that 
he could not agree with him, his conclusions 
were pushed so far that he felt their absurdity. 
" I could not believe that God, who is a 'Spirit/ 
had given to us spirits, and had created us 
moral and intelligent, and accountable beings, 
and yet would refuse to hold any intercourse 
with the l souls he had made.' And although 
I had not for years attempted to pray, I 
now fully believed that God was willing to 
hear and answer in some way the prayers of 
his children, though I could not comprehend 
how it was done. I now began to think that 
I should try at some future period to embrace 
religion. The only question to be settled was, 
when shall I set about the work? I was 
comparatively young, actively and successfully 
engaged in business, which promised me a 
comfortable and independent support, and an 
honorable position among men. My prospects 



78 CONVERSION OP A SKEPTIC. 

in life were flattering, and I was counting 
on many years of pleasure and an old age 
of renown. Yet I well knew the most brilliant 
sun must set — the longest life must come to 
a close. And what then ? What is to follow ? 
Doubtless, an honorable burial — a handsome 
monument — a paragraph in the columns of 
a fleeting newspaper — and then the ' place 
which now knows me, shall know me no more 
forever.' What must become of the spirit — 
that immortal part — which must survive the 
ravages of death and the desolations of the 
tomb ? The question was one of awful import, 
and came home with thrilling power to my 
heart. < Surely, I shall not die without relig- 
ion : J 'I will get it in old age.' i There is 
time enough yet.' 'If I do not live the life 
of the righteous, I will die his death.' This 
conclusion being arrived at, I began to live 
up to it, and had I been left to myself, my 
destruction though slow would have been no 
less sure." * * ^ * ^ ^ 



CONVERSION FROM SKEPTICISM. 
CHAPTER VII. 

Having fully made up his mind to delay 
his conversion to a " more convenient season," 
he fell an easy prey to the " devices of Satan." 
This part of the history of Mr. Baldwin speaks 
in trumpet tones to young men, to beware 
of the card-table. The first temptation to this 
vice should be promptly resisted, 

"For when to sin our biased nature leans, 
The watchful fiend is still at hand with means." 

Mr. Baldwin went to the card-table to play 

for amusement. Alas ! how many have been 

ruined by taking such a false step. Gambling 

is the master-vice of this age, and when it 

becomes a ruling passion with a man, there 

is unly one step between him and hell. Every 

virtuous emotion is quenched in the heart 

of the confirmed gamester. He soon becomes 
79 



80 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

an alien from home and dearest friends, 
and a companion of the most abandoned and 
profligate of his species. Card-players gen- 
erally become hard drinkers or confirmed 
inebriates. 

It is said that cards were first invented 
under the reign of Charles VI, King of France, 
to amuse him during the interval of that dis- 
order which carried him to his grave. Surely 
the world would have been the gainer had 
his majesty been permitted to die in peace, 
without such an invention to help him to 
" kill time/' or divert his mind from more 
serious thoughts. I again repeat it, let our 
young men beware of this fascinating vice. 
Engage in nothing on which you can not ask 
the blessing of God. Imitate the example of 
Dr. Dodd, an eminent minister of the gospel, 
who, on being once solicited to play cards, 
arose from his seat and uncovered his head. 
The company on seeing this, immediately asked 
what he was going to do ? He replied, " To 

CRAVE THE BLESSING OF GOD." They in- 



A PREVALENT VICE. 81 

stantly exclaimed, " 0, we never ask a blessing 
on such occasions." " Well," said he, "I never 
engage in anything upon which I can not 
crave the blessing of God." It is hardly nec- 
essary to add that they readily excused him 
from taking a part with them on that occasion. 

In an evil and unguarded hour, Mr. Baldwin 
was insnared and almost ruined by this fash- 
ionable and prevalent vice. But God "who 
is rich in mercy," at last awakened him by 
a severe providential dispensation, to see the 
slippery and dangerous precipice on which 
he was standing. A clear view of his exposed 
condition excited within him feelings of the 
keenest remorse and self-reproach. I hope 
the candid reader will profit by the following 
thrilling account from the pen of Mr. Baldwin, 
of this dangerous experiment : 

" I fell in one day with some of my friends (?) 
who proposed a game of cards. At first I 
felt a strong repugnance, not having played 
for several years — but the game could not go 
on without me. I at last consented to take 
6 



82 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

a part. From that time I felt within me a 
growing fondness for playing cards. It became 
a ruling passion with me; I could think of 
little else, and I waited daily with impatience 
for the time to roll round, when I could rejoin 
my jolly companions at the card table. I did 
not continue to play long for mere amusement 
or pass-time. I soon began to bet small sums 
and to partake of an occasional social glass. 
Conscience severely condemned me, and when 
I was leaving the place of our retreat, I was 
stung with a sense of shame and mortification 
if any one saw me. But the Spirit of 
God strove with me, and when I returned 
home to my loving and unsuspecting wife 
and little prattling child, I often experienced 
the keenest remorse. This deadly moral disease 
was fast gaining on me, destroying all the 
fine feelings of the husband and parent, and 
prostrating the lofty ambition of the man. 
Business became tiresome, domestic ties trouble- 
some, and study insipid. In this state of mind 
I was hailing with eager anticipation the near 



WINE-DRINKING COMPANIONS. 83 

approach of winter — the long evenings of 
which I expected to spend with my card-playing 
and wine-drinking companions. Merciful God ! 
upon what an awful verge I was standing, 
just ready to take the fatal plunge. 

A WAY I KNEW NOT. 

"But God 'who is rich in mercy,' although 
I had forsaken him, did not forsake me. He 
was about to ' lead me in a way which I knew 
not,' the way of affliction and trial — the only 
way in which he could lead me to himself. My 
wife was first laid on a bed of sickness, but 
her case I looked upon as not dangerous. 
Our first child was born November 30th, 1832. 
When quite young, it was attacked with croup 
in an alarming manner — our only child. She 
was dear to my heart and I thought I was 
about to lose her. I felt that the hand of 
God was upon me ; I acknowledged his justice, 
and as severe as might be his chastisement, 
I could not murmur, I knew I deserved it all 
and a thousand times more. I did not dare 



84 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

to ask God to spare my child, for I felt that 
as heart-rending as might be the bereavement, 
yet I was mercifully dealt with. But the favor 
which I feared to ask, God graciously granted 
to me. He spared the life of my child, but 
was preparing to take the mother to himself." 
In his journal he remarks in reference to 
this affliction: "I now became greatly alarmed, 
fearing that Elizabeth would not recover and 
I should lose them both. I then said to 
myself, if they both die I will give up my 
profession and become a preacher — probably 
a Methodist preacher, though I felt little 
inclination for religion. I had, however, no 
idea of murmuring against God, whatever might 
be his dispensations toward me. It pleased 
God, however, to spare my child, but my dear 
wife grew worse. About the 1st of January, 
1833, I began seriously to fear that she might 
not recover. Rev. Mr. Calhoon began to visit, 
and converse, and pray with her. I felt anx- 
ious that she should experience religion. I 
took much interest in the religious exercises 



READING UNTIL MIDNIGHT. 85 

held in her room. I read much to her myself, 
[particularly the 102 Psalm, which commences, 
'Hear my prayer, Lord, and let my cry 
come unto thee. Hide not thy face from 
me in the day when I am in trouble ; incline 
thine ear unto me in the day when I call ; 
answer me/ etc. And also the 103 Psalm, 
which commences in the following beautiful 
strain, 'Bless the Lord, my soul, and all 
that is within me bless his name. Bless the 
Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits, 
who forgiveth all thine iniquities and healeth 
all thy diseases,' etc. I often read the word 
of God for her until after midnight. She had 
for a considerable time felt the importance 
of religion, and had made some efforts toward 
attaining it, but had not sought it in the right 
way. 

" Few were more constant at church, or 
seemed more attentive while there, than she 
did. Her understanding had been convinced, 
but there was pride in her heart, and the world 
also had too strong a hold upon her affections ; 



86 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

consequently site could not feel as much as 
slie desired. She was not prepared to give 
tip all for Christ. As yet she had not a clear 
view of her sinfulness, neither had she felt 
the plague of her own heart. A crisis was 
rapidly approaching. The lamp of life must 
soon expire, and yet the lamp of divine grace 
was not kindled in her heart. Several of her 
pious friends visited her daily and prayed 
and conversed with her upon the subject of her 
soul's salvation. She could not realize that 
death was so near, and consequently was not 
so warmly engaged as I desired. The work 
of death was rapidly advancing while the work 
of grace seemed to progress very slowly. I 
feared that she might l come short of the 
promised rest.' It is true that I never had 
opposed her in religion, but had often express- 
ed a desire that she should obtain it. But 
I had not led the way. I had set her an 
evil example, and had often spoken lightly 
of religion in her presence. I had been a 
* stumbling block' in her way, and I now felt 



MRS. BALDWIN'S CONVERSION. 87 

that if she died in her sins, God would ' require 
her blood at my hands.' If it is possible for 
any one to endure the c pains of hell' in this 
world, I certainly experienced them at this 
hour. I felt a growing interest in the Bible 
and religious subjects generally, but felt no 
concern for myself, every feeling was absorbed 
in my overwhelming anxiety for the conversion 
of my dying wife. I talked to her and con- 
tinued to read the Bible and such hymns as 
I thought appropriate. I also read prayers for 
her — I could not pray for her myself. 

" Her pious mother, who was a Methodist, 
felt deeply for her dying child, and also labor- 
ed zealously for her conversion. At length 
my dear wife was powerfully awakened. The 
Holy Spirit wrought conviction upon her heart, 
and she cried for mercy with the true and 
genuine feelings of a sincere penitent. After 
two or three days of intense mental agony, 
the Lord for Christ's sake spoke peace to her 
soul. In about a week after her conversion, 
on the 24th of January, 1833, she died in the 



88 CONVERSION OP A SKEPTIC. 

full triumphs of faith, and entered into the 
joy of her Lord." 

HIS CONVICTION" FOR PAST SIN. 

Mr. Baldwin returns immediately to speak 
of his own conversion in connection with that 
of his wife. In his journal of May 27th, 
1833, he says: "I will go back for a short 
period. As well as I can now remember, 
the night after she had experienced religion, 
I had lain down on a cot near to her bed, if 
possible, to get a little sleep, when suddenly, as 
it would seem, without any previous train of 
reflection that would naturally lead to such 
a result, I saw myself altogether in a different 
light from what I had ever done before. It was 
altogether new to me. I saw that I was utterly 
depraved and sinful. I felt that every thought 
and every imagination of my heart, from in- 
fancy up to that moment, had been 'evil, 
only evil, and that continually. ' I was amazed 
and overwhelmed at the discovery. Pride, 
self-love, vanity, folly, wickedness and hypoc- 



THE FIRST SINCERE PRAYER. 89 

risy had been the main-spring of every word 
and action of my life. The very things in 
which I had taken the most pride, appeared 
in their proper light. The conviction was sud- 
den and overpowering. I had nothing left on 
which to stand — still I felt no particular fear 
of God or dread of punishment. I was so 
overwhelmed and prostrated that I hardly 
knew myself, nor had time for reflection. I 
thought of praying, and yet I hardly knew 
what to pray for, or how to do it ; or whether 
it was right for me to pray. I lacked resolu- 
tion. I turned over and breathed out a short 
prayer — the first sincere one I had in my 
thoughts for many years. How long I con- 
tinued in this state of mind, or how it left 
me I can not tell. The next night, when 
lying in the room upon the same cot, my 
convictions returned with still more over- 
whelming power, I immediately arose, went 
up stairs, and prayed to God for mercy and 
forgiveness. I felt some relief before I arose 
from my knees. My purpose was now fixed 



90 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

to serve God and to seek religion, and I prayed 
to God to give me grace to persevere unto 
the end, and to make a deep and effectual work 
of grace in my heart. I continued the exercise 
of prayer and reading the Bible and spiritual 
hymns for several days, in a very anxious 
state of mind and with no permanent relief. 
I often felt quite tranquil, but I had no religion. 
And I sometimes feared my good resolutions 
would all desert me, and that I should not 
have courage to take up my cross and publicly 
profess Christ. I had an interesting conver- 
sation with my wife. I told her that I feared 
she had not long to remain with us, and that 
I had made up my mind to be religious. She 
was much affected and expressed great joy 
at my determination. I prayed much for her 
and delighted in the exercise. 

"At times I almost despaired of the mercy 
of God and was tempted to think him a hard 
Master. At times I felt a spirit of indifference. 
However, the Sunday after the death of my 
wife, I attended preaching at the Presbyterian 



A LEGAL CHRISTIAN. 91 

church, and heard a sermon from Rev. Mr. 
Calhoon. I was much interested and edified. 
I now began to think I had religion ; I had 
' love for the brethren : ' I thought I felt l dead 
to the world/ and took delight only in the 
things of God. And if I could not rejoice with 
4 joy unspeakable and full of glory/ I felt 
some inward peace and consolation, and having, 
as I thought, sought diligently and used all 
the means of grace, and finding that my ex- 
perience was just as clear and bright as many 
with whom I conversed upon the subject, I 
endeavored to persuade myself that I was a 
child of God and an heir of glory. On Mon- 
day, Rev. Mr. Calhoon called and spent the 
evening with me at my office, having learned 
something of the state of my mind. I then 
had experienced considerable relief. I frankly 
related my past exercises, and he appeared, 
and expressed himself much gratified with 
my experience, which he thought was indeed 
highly satisfactory, I felt that a great moral 
change had been wrought in my heart, and 



92 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

many of my pious friends thought T had 
experienced religion. This surprised me very 
much. If what I then felt was religion, I 
had been sadly deceived, for I had no peace, 
no JOY, no love to God — for His fear was con- 
tinually before me. I could not See Christ. 
I offered my prayers in His name, but it was 
a name I had learned from the Scriptures. 
I did not feel the necessity of the atonement 
for my salvation. A sermon of Davies was 
the means under God of showing me that I 
was now building on my own i self-righteous- 
ness, • my good works, my repentance, tears, 
prayers, and good resolutions, and not on the 
Rock Christ Jesus — the only true foundation, 
and that I could only be justified by faith 
in Christ. On Friday night I attended a Meth- 
odist meeting at the school room, and heard 
Mr. J relate his experience, his convic- 
tions, and lastly, his joy — sudden, full, and 
not flowing from any visible source. It seemed 
to me as an 'idle tale.' His transition from 
darkness to light, from despair to hope, from 



WITNESS OF THE SPIRIT. 93 

sorrow to joy, full, bright, and glorious; it 
was far beyond my experience, and I would 
not believe it. I was in the habit of reading 
occasionally Wesley's sermons, and one day 
I came to his sermon on the f Spirit of Adop- 
tion and the Witness of the Spirit.' The title 
struck me as a strange one, and I was led by 
its novelty to read the sermon. I had not 
proceeded far, before I fell out with him and 
set him down as a great enthusiast. I thought, 
however, I would give him a fair hearing, 
and continued to read on — the authorities 
from Scripture, the experience of himself and 
other living witnesses which he cited, were 
too strong for me, and I found that either 
the Bible was wrong, or I was yet without 
religion, and I bless the Lord, his Holy Spirit 
sealed conviction on my heart. I then began 
to pray for the f witness of the Spirit.' My 
false tranquillity was all destroyed, and I had 
to confess that I was yet far from God and 
righteousness. I prayed for deeper convictions, 
for an entire ' breaking up of the fallow ground 



94 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

of my heart/ for a thorough work of grace, 
and I even delighted in an agonizing spirit. 
I continued to pray for the witness of the 
Spirit — an evidence that would banish all 
doubt. What that inward testimony was I 
had no conception of, but I believed it was a 
divine and glorious reality, and I longed to 
experience it. I had many a sore conflict, 
many a powerful temptation. To give up all 
for Christ seemed impossible. I was not yet 
sufficiently humble ; I wanted religion in my 
own way, and on my own terms ; I wanted 
to make some 'compromises 1 with the world, 
so as not to lose my good name with the 
unconverted. But the Lord by degrees brought 
me to the foot of the cross. At times while 
engaged in prayer, the .blessing seemed ready 
to descend, the long sought effusion to be poured 
out, and I felt that my faith could almost 
lay hold upon it, and yet I was disappointed. 
I longed to experience the baptism of the 
Holy Ghost — of fire. At last I nearly des- 
paired of the mercy of God, and was almost 



THE DOOR SHUT. „ 95 

willing to be a servant, if I could not be a 
son. Perhaps I may have to seek this witness 
for many years — well, I will die seeking it. 
At length it was brought to my mind, l Are you 
willing to give up all and become a preacher 
— even a Methodist preacher for the sake of 
Christ?' 'Can you resign your little child into 
the hands of Christ ? ' I thought I could ; I 
felt willing to be anything or nothing for 
His sake — to do and suffer His whole will. 
I now felt a considerable degree of tranquillity, 
but no joy. I felt 'a hungering and thirsting 
after righteousness/ a drawing out of my heart 
towards God, especially while engaged in prayer 
— a love to the whole human race — a deadness 
to the honors and pleasures of the world. 

"On the 14th of February I had been most 
of the day in my office, and had considerable 
company all the time until about five o'clock. 
I was then left alone. I felt a desire to engage 
in prayer. The door being shut, I turned in 
my chair with my back toward the door and 
window and prayed to God in that attitude. I 



96 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

had hardly commenced before I experienced a 
feeling which I had never known before ; almost 
instantaneously I experienced a joy which I 
had never felt before. The burden that had 
so long weighed me down was suddenly re- 
moved. The cloud vanished, and I was all 
light and life. I experienced a feeling of joy 
inexpressible. I had peace, and love, and 
joy. My heart rose up in my throa^ and I 
was rilled with delight and surprise; I was 
filled to overflowing; I could pray no longer; 
I could not sit still ; I felt too light for earth. 
My hungering and thirsting was gone. The 
change was altogether incomprehensible. I did 
not then know what I had experienced — I 
could call it by no name ; but I wanted to 
see some of my friends to tell them of my 
joy. I shut up my office and went over to 
Mrs. Truslow, who was my mother-in-law, and 
with whom I was boarding at the time. After 
supper I went up into my room, and my happi- 
ness seemed to increase. And I was again 
filled, to overfioioing. My heart seemed to dilate 



THIS WAS RELIGION. 97 

and rise up in my throat. At my request, 
Mrs. Truslow came up into my room. I tried 
to tell her how happy I was; but she knew 
all about it — 'the love of God shed abroad 
in the heart by the Holy Ghost.' She had 
experienced it years ago, and was no stranger 
to every delight of my soul. This was relig- 
ion. I felt it when I lay down to sleep, 
and I awoke the next morning under its happy 
influence." 
7 



HIS ENTRANCE ON THE MINISTRY. 
CHAPTER VIII. 

Immediately after Mr. Baldwin Lad ex- 
perienced religion, lie felt that it was his duty 
to " confess Christ before men" by connecting 
himself with the church. An interesting ac- 
count of this transaction is found in his journal : 

"On Monday, February 13th, 1833, after 
prayer-meeting, I called in at Rev. Mr. Cal- 
hoon's, on his invitation — having walked home 
in company with him from the school-room. 
The next Sabbath there was to be a communion 
season in the Presbyterian church, of which 
he was the Pastor. I now felt that I ought 
to make a public profession of my faith in 
Christ; although I had not thought much about 
the doctrines of the different evangelical 
churches. My mind was not prepared for 
attaching myself permanently to any particu- 
98 



PROFESSION OP FAITH. 99 

Iar branch of the church of Christ. Between 
the Presbyterian, Episcopal, and Methodist 
Episcopal churches at that time, I had no 
decided preference or partiality. The result, 
however, of my interview with the Rev. Mr. 
Calhoon, was an application for admission into 
the communion of the Presbyterian church, 
with the explanation of my views and feelings 
as above mentioned ; and also with the under- 
standing that I was at liberty to withdraw 
and attach myself to any other denomination 
of christians, whenever conviction of duty 
should prompt me to such a course. " * * * 
After taking this step, Mr. Baldwin felt it 
to be his duty to examine carefully and prayer- 
fully for himself, the doctrines and usages 
of the different churches. The final result of 
this investigation led him to apply for a letter 
of dismissal from the Presbyterian Church, 
which was most cordially granted him May 3d, 
1833. His sincerity and integrity in regard 
to this solemn and important transaction 
was never doubted or even questioned by his 



100 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

friends. The next Sabbath he presented his 
" certificate of membership," and was received 
into full fellowship in the Methodist Episco- 
pal Church at Charleston. Such was the high 
estimation of his religious character that he 
was soon appointed a Steward of Charleston 
circuit. Subsequently he was licensed, first 
as an exhorter, and then as a local preacher, 
by Rev. Eobert 0. Spencer. 

HIS ENTRANCE ON" THE MINISTRY. 

Mr. Baldwin felt that he was " inwardly 
moved by the Holy G-host" to preach Christ 
and Him crucified — to warn his fellow-men 
to "flee from the wrath to come." His mind 
was fully made up upon this subject, and 
like the apostle to the Gentiles, he conferred 
not with flesh and blood, — but straightway com- 
menced proclaiming the glad tidings of a full 
and free salvation to his friends and acquaint- 
ances in the town of Charleston and its vicinity. 
His first public exhortation or address was 
made in the lecture room of the Presbyterian 



SAUL AMONG THE PROPHETS. 101 

church, from these words, " Behold he prayeth." 
His manner on that occasion was so very 
solemn and impressive, as to excite the astonish- 
ment and admiration of all who heard him. 
The change in his life and character was so 
great, that some on beholding him while 
engaged in his first public exercises as a min- 
ister, were constrained to exclaim, "What! is 
Saul also among the Prophets ? " From this 
period he grew daily in favor both with God 
and man* 

The announcement that he would preach 
his first sermon in the Methodist church, at- 
tracted a large and deeply interested audience 
at a very early hour. Every one was anxious 
to hear him make his first effort. Mr. Baldwin 
at the time appointed ascended the pulpit, and 
after the usual introductory service, in which 
he was assisted by the Rev. Bobert 0. Spencer, 
announced for his text the words of St. Paul, 
"For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of 
Christ, for it is the power of God unto salva- 
tion to every one that believeth; to the Jew 



102 CONVERSION OP A SKEPTIC. 

first and also to the Greek."- — Romans 1 : 16. 
From one who was present I have learned that 
he preached with great liberty — and at times he 
seemed so filled with the Holy Ghost, that 
his face was radiant like that of Stephen when 
he saw " heaven opened." The effect on the 
audience was overpowering. Some shouted 
" hallelujah," while others signified their 
approval by responding heartily, "Amen." 
While he pleaded with his young companions 
to embrace the Gospel, because it was the 
" power of God unto salvation," he referred 
most touchingly and effectively to his own 
recent deliverance from the meshes of infideli- 
ty and the dominion of sin. 

Mr. Baldwin gave himself up at once fully 
to the work of the ministry. In the beautiful 
language of Pollok, 

"His consecration, his anointing oil — 
Were inward in the conscience, heard and felt, 
To take into Lis charge the souls of men, 
And for his trust, to answer at the day 
Of Judgment. Great plenipotent of heaven, 
And representative of God on earth." 



PROFESSION ABANDONED. 103 

Unlike most young ministers who have 
everything to learn in regard to public speak- 
ing — the harness was already on him, and he 
seemed at home and fully prepared for the 
great work of " persuading men " to embrace 
the Redeemer. He immediately sold his law 
books, and discontinued his practice at the 
Charleston bar. He never appeared as a coun- 
selor but once after this, and that was a case 
of slander which he had previously engaged 
to prosecute, assisted by Hon. B. H. Smith. 
The opposing counsel in the case, were Hon. 
Judge Summers and Rev. William McComas. 
His argument on that occasion will long be 
remembered, especially his reflections on the 
immortality of the soul and the revelations 
of the day of judgment, when every man 
shall give an account of himself to God, and 
answer not only for — words of slander, — but 
for every " idle word." He never appeared at 
the bar again. His profession as a lawyer, 
although now becoming lucrative, was entirely 
abandoned. He devoted all his time and 



104 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

talent to the service of his Master, and from 
the very beginning of his career, resolved to 
"make full proof of his ministry and do the 
work of an evangelist." He was first employed 
by the Presiding Elder on Galliopolis circuit 
in Ohio. He left Charleston, November 29th, 
1833, and on the Tuesday night following, he 
preached within the bounds of his first circuit. 
He was from the commencement of his itiner- 
ant ministry, "abundant in labor," often 
preaching nine sermons a week, and meeting 
six classes immediately after the pulpit service. 
In closing his labors on this circuit, he men- 
tions in his journal of having preached "Forty 

SERMONS IN LESS THAN SIX WEEKS." 



HIS SECOND MAERIAGE. 
CHAPTER IX. 

While traveling on the G-alliopolis circuit ho 
was united in marriage by Rev. Robert 0. Spen- 
cer, to Miss Mary Jane, daughter of Col. Andrew 
Lewis, of Mason county, Virginia, Dec, 26th, 
1833. The light in which Mr. Baldwin viewed 
his second marriage at this early period in his 
ministry may be fully learned from the following 
affectionate letter to the mother of his first wife. 
To Mrs. Agnes M. Trushiv, of Cliarleston, Va. 
December 27, 1833. 

Dear Mother: — I hope you will allow me still 
to address you by that title — not as a son in the 
church, but as one who feels for you the same 
love he ever did, while the common object of 
his and your affection was living, and before any 
new tie had been created, to attach his feelings 
to any other. As you have been led to expect, 

105 



106 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

I am again married. The ceremony was per- 
formed last night by Bev. R. 0. Spencer, in the 
presence of many witnesses. I bless the Lord, 
I then felt, as I have often felt before and still 
feel, that this solemn event was not only with 
His approbation, but was ordered and appointed 
by him. Of this I have received too many to- 
kens, to leave me, for a moment, in doubt. It 
is now four weeks since I left you, and I can 
safely say I have felt more of the love of God 
and enjoyed more peculiar manifestations of his 
presence, during this period, than any other, in 
the brief course of my religious life. On Mon- 
day morning last, in secret prayer, I had a bright 
vision of heaven, a foretaste of the joys of the 
blessed, and was enabled to realize that God is 
love — to be swallowed up in the boundless ocean 
of his love. On Tuesday, I asked the Lord to 
direct me on opening the bible, to a chapter for 
family prayer, in reading which I might find 
something peculiarly appropriate to myself, and 
I opened on the fifty-first chapter of Isaiah, the 
seventh and sixteenth verses of which came 



DIVINE GUIDANCE. 107 

home, with peculiar blessings to my soul. 

11 Hearken unto me, ye that know righteousness, 

the people in f whose heart is my law ; fear ye 

not the reproach of men, neither be ye afraid of 

their revilings.' , "And I have put my words 

into thy mouth.' ' With the same view, and 

after the same request, I opened the book for 

a hymn: 

tell me no more of this world's vaiu store, 
The time for such trifles with me now is o'er, 
A country I have found where true joys abound, 
To dwell I am determined on that happy ground. 

My faith increasing, I asked for a text for that 
day, and opened on St. Luke, 20 : 42, 43. — 
" The Lord said unto my Lord, sit thou on my 
right hand, till I make thine enemies thy foot- 
stool," a subject entirely new to me, but the 
Lord gave me uncommon liberty, and we had 
a melting time, both under the sermon and in 
class. Having to preach again at night, I ven- 
tured once more upon the Lord, and opened on 
Romans 11 : 29. — " For the gifts and calling of 
God are without repentance." But the subject 
appearing not to be suited to the occasion, and 



108 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

feeling unprepared to preach from it, I chose 
another text, but the Lord was not with me to 
bless me. Wednesday, still reluctant to obey 
and afraid again to venture upon the Lord, I 
chose another subject, but was completely cut off 
from all communion with the people, and we 
had a dry time. Tuesday, I determined to take 
up the text and throw myself upon the Lord, 
having frequently prayed him, that if my con- 
templated marriage was with his approbation, he 
would that day help me, and give us a weeping 
time. And my prayer was fully answered — most 
of my hearers were deeply affected, and several 
wept freely. To-day my faith being strong, I 
once more ventured upon the Lord, and while 
speaking from St. Matthew 25: 22. — "He also 
that had received two talents came, and said, 
Lord thou deliveredst unto me two talents; be- 
hold I have gained two other talents besides 
them," — the Lord answered my prayer and 
gave me to know that he approved of the solemn 
transactions of last evening by opening the 
hearts of the people and granting us another 



EVIDENCES OF HIS FAVOR. 109 

melting time and a season of refreshing from 
his presence. After such multiplied and strik- 
ing evidences of his favor can I doubt that the 
Lord is with me? After so many direct answers 
to my prayers, shall I not have confidence in the 
Lord, that whatsoever I ask of him according 
to his will, he heareth me? "And if we know 
that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know 
that we have the petitions that we desired of 
him. ,, 

I need not tell you how anxious I am to see 
you all, but more especially my dear little Mary 
Elizabeth. Poor little thing; I was sorry to 
hear that she had been sick, but she is in the 
hands of the Lord, and I trust her health will 
be precious in his sight. If continued and fer- 
vent prayers can bring down blessings, she and 
you all will be enriched with every spiritual and 
temporal blessing. I am desirous of bringing 
her to Mrs. Lewis'. Though I doubt not your 
unwearied kindness and attention to her, I 
cannot feel entirely satisfied to have her away 
from me. ********** 



110 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

Wednesday evening. I resume my letter. I 
ought perhaps to wait longer before I undertake 
to speak confidently, but I think I can safely 
say that the Lord has given me a treasure in 
Mary Jane. I am entirely satisfied with the 
choice I have made, or rather which the Lord 
has made for me. I find in her a most amiable 
companion, an affectionate friend, a loving wife, 
and an intelligent and useful helper, — and I 
have no doubt that my dear little Mary Eliza- 
beth will find in her a kind, attentive and tender 
mother, who will in all respects supply the 
place of one whose memory we all so much 
cherish. You cannot help being pleased with 
her. From all the family I have experienced 
nothing but kindness and affection, and I feel 
entirely at home here. Mrs. Lewis was down to 
Point Pleasant yesterday with all her family 
except my wife, and was highly pleased with 
Rev. R. 0. Spencer. Indeed, he seems to have 
got a peculiar hold upon her affections, and he 
will doubtless find in her a warm and valuable 
friend. The people at Point Pleasant, so far as 



AFFECTIONATE FRIENDS. Ill 

I can learn, are very much gratified with his 
removal there, and will, I doubt not, be kind 
and liberal to him and his family. 

I preached twice yesterday in Galliopolis — in 
the morning to a numerous, and in the after- 
noon to a large congregation, who all appeared 
very serious and attentive. At night, I under- 
stand, a still greater number turned out to hear 
Rev. R. 0. Spencer. I have not yet missed an 
appointment. With the week ending to-day I 
have preached nine sermons and led six classes. 

What abundant reason have I to bless the 
Lord for his great goodness to me. I am in the 
kindest of families, among the most amiable and 
affectionate friends. Mrs. Lewis has just given 
me a feeling invitation to bring my little Mary 
Elizabeth down here, and in every way to con- 
sider this as my home. And the Lord permit- 
ting, you may look for Mary Jane and me up 
the last of next week. 

Very affectionately, 

Chas. R. Baldwin. 



CHOSEN IN THE FURNACE, 
CHAPTER X. 

" Behold I have refined thee but not with sil- 
ver, I have chosen thee in the furnace of afflic- 
tion." The truth of this declaration was strik- 
ingly exemplified in the life of Mr. Baldwin. 
While watching around the dying couch of his 
first wife and reading to her the Holy Bible, it 
pleased our Heavenly Father to call him by 
His Spirit to seek religion. Her last illness 
and death were graciously sanctified to the open- 
ing of the eyes of his spiritual understanding, to 
perceive the "chief good." Well might he ex- 
claim : — 

" I thank thee, God, for all I've known 
Of kindly fortune, health and joy, 

And quite as gratefully I own, 
The bitter drops of life's alloy. 

Oh ! there was wisdom in the blow 
That wrung the sad and scalding tear, 
112 



LIFE'S SUNNY HOURS CHANGED. 113 

That laid my dearest idol low, 
And left my bosom lone and drear. 

I thank Thee, God, for all the smart 
That thou hast sent ; for not in vain 

Has been the heavy aching heart, 
The sigh of grief, the throb of pain." 

After his second marriage lie commenced 
house keeping in Guyandotte, September 20th, 
1834, with a bright prospect of uninterrupted 
domestic felicity — but in less than four short 
months, life's sunny hours were changed to a 
mournful shade. In the early part of the win- 
ter of 1834 the health of his wife became much 
impaired, and she fell into a rapid decline. Her 
disease was of such an insidious nature that at 
first no serious apprehensions were entertained, 
either by herself or friends, about its results. 
However, when her symptoms changed and be- 
came still more alarming, they broke up house 
keeping, and Mrs. B. returned to her own home 
above Point Pleasant, where she remained until 
she died. Not long after her return she wrote 
to Mr. Baldwin, who was absent on the circuit, 
a kind letter, from which I make an extract to 
8 



114 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

show her spirit of self-abasement, and deep hu- 
mility: — "I received your kind letter on Sun- 
day, and as I read it through I thought surely 
the best earthly gift is an affectionate, faithful 
friend. I feel surprised and ashamed when I 
hear you say that you approached Guyandotte 
with different feelings from those you have had 
when going home. Ah ! how much more pleas- 
ant still I might have made that home by a 
cheerful, happy spirit. But it is past and I can- 
not help by vain lamentations that which has 
been done — neither can I promise in future to 
do any better — I can not, indeed I can not, un- 
less my heart is changed — entirely changed, ' 
when shall I awake in his likeness ! ' pray 
without ceasing that if we all meet again I may 
be better able to discharge my duties than I 
have ever been heretofore. I shall look and 
pray that you may be permitted to come home 
at the time appointed. Till then, and forever, 
may our souls be one in Christ. 

"Yours most affectionately, 

"Mary Jane." 



RIPENING FOR HEAVEN. 115 

But she was to return to Guyandotte no 
more. God was preparing to remove her to a 
mansion of glory above. She was soon brought 
under the influence of her deadly malady. Un- 
der these alarming circumstances her husband 
and friends were gratified to learn that she was 
preparing for her change, whenever God should 
see fit to call her away. She was evidently ri- 
pening fast for heaven and increasing daily in 
the knowledge of God. Her soul was continu- 
ally thirsting for more refreshing draughts 
from the well of salvation. The language of 
her heart was, " Then shall I be satisfied when 
I awake in thy likeness. " 

On the 10th of April the mother of Mrs. 
Baldwin closed her eyes in death. This unex- 
pected shock she was enabled to bear with sweet 
resignation to the Divine will. But from that 
time her own health failed more rapidly. But 
she was not afraid to die, and with the most per- 
fect calmness disposed of her property and af- 
fectionately exhorted her friends and relatives 
to prepare to meet her in heaven. On the 28th 



116 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

of April, Rev. R. 0. Spencer administered to 
her the sacrament. Her soul was then filled 
unutterably full of glory and of God. Her sick 
room was a paradise on this side of heaven — 
"All the air was love." On the 30th of May, 
1835, she gently breathed her last. 

REFINED AS SILVER. 

Mr. Baldwin was not only chosen in the 
"furnace" but kept in the crucible and refined 
as silver and tried as gold. As a man chast- 
eneth his son, so the Lord his God chastened 
him. But he " gloried in tribulation, " know- 
ing that the trial of his faith being more pre- 
cious than gold or silver, should at last be found 
unto praise, honor and glory. Mr. B. loved 
his wife with a pure devotion, and this affection 
was fully reciprocated on her part. This made 
their unexpected separation still more painful. 
Two weeks before the death of Mrs. Baldwin, 
and during the absence of her husband, she 
wrote the following lines and addressed them to 
her husband, a copy of which she gave to each 



UNION OF SHORT DURATION. 117 

of her sisters, at their own request, before they 
were transcribed into the journal of Mr. Bald- 
! win. They evince good taste, a cultivated mind, 
refined sentiment and undying love for her 
doubly bereaved husband : — 

" Among the innumerable blessings bestowed 
upon me by my Heavenly Father on my dying 
bed, I esteem this indulgence not the least, that 
my trembling hand is permitted to bear testi- 
mony to the affection and faithfulness of my 
dear husband. It has pleased the Lord that 
our union should be of short duration in this 
world. But I believe it was brought about by 
his own particular providence, and by Him has 
been made a blessing to us both. I can at 
least say that he has been a staff put into my 
hand by the Almighty. Under God he has 
strengthened my weakness — soothed my sor- 
rows, borne with all my infirmities — and nev- 
er DID HE IN WORD OR DEED GIVE ME THE 

least cause of offense. And now I do com- 
mit him as my dearest earthly treasure, into 
the hands of the Lord — humbly praying that 



118 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

God would make him instrumental in bringing 
home many souls to glory. And O, my blessed 
Savior, when his work is done, may we be united 
again as Thou and thy church art one. O yes ! 
fight on my beloved pilgrim a little while lon- 
ger — and 0, if it is the will of God, Twill gladly, 
though unseen, hover around thy path and 
watch all thy steps and soothe thy every care. 

"Mary Jane." 
Previous to her death she made a will, 
which was witnessed by the Rev. R. 0. Spencer, 
in which she secured to her husband a large 
part of her estate. And in this substantial 
manner she proved to the world that her at- 
tachment did not consist of words only, but 
"deeds." That Mr. Baldwin felt the death of 
his second wife keenly, is fully evinced by his 
frequent allusions to her in his journal. Soon 
after her death I find the following record: — 
"Mrs. Agnes Sehon and family have left us to- 
day — I have received from all of my wife's sis- 
ters the most touching evidence of their regard 
and heartfelt affection. I love them all better 



A MELANCHOLY CALM. 119 

than ever I did before; the place seems consecra- 
ted ground. They have manifested the tender- 
est regard for my little daughter, Mary Eliza- 
beth, and with a kindness that touched my heart, 
have insisted on giving us both a home. May 
God bless and reward them all for their kind- 
ness." 

Under date of May 7th, he writes in his jour- 
nal : "One week of my lonesome pilgrimage is 
passed, and I can say of our holy religion, 

' It calms my fears and soothes my sorrows, 
And smooths my way o'er life's rough sea.' 

My soul has recently been in a kind of a mel- 
ancholy calm. I have thought much of Mary 
Jane, with feelings of mournful pleasure — and 
while I have bowed with submission to the Di- 
vine will I have painfully realized that this 
1 chastisement for the present is not joyous but 
grievous ' — Yet I humbly trust it is working 
in me the peaceable fruits of righteousness. 
Her image is fixed in my soul — it requires no 
local associations to bring her to my mind — her 
gentle spirit seem3 present — her death-bed 



120 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC, 

scene comes up to my mind more like a vision 
of glory than 'the pains, the groans and dying 
strife ' of a mortal, and with Jacob when he 
awoke out of sleep lean say, c Surely the Lord 
was in this place, but I knew it not.' Could 
I then have had my wish I should have had 
her die under different circumstances — her last 
breath should have been praise instead of prayer , 
and yet I now feel, and have felt ever since her 
departure, a full and unshaken confidence that 
the Lord has taken her to himself; and I would 
not, if I could, erase from the tablet of my mem- 
ory one looh or one expression." Blessed be 
God "He doethall things well.' , Mr. Bald- 
win visited Charleston after his bereavement 
and was received with much kindness. 

June 30th. "To-day I have met many of my 
old friends and acquaintances, and without ex- 
ception they have been kind and attentive, far 
beyond my ability to return or repay. At 
night, although only an appointment for prayer- 
meeting, a large congregation assembled at the 
new church to hear me preach, I could not 



SHALL BE LIGHTLY ESTEEMED. 121 

disappoint them, and I improved the occasion by 
speaking from the words of Samuel, with an 
enlivening sense of the presence of God: 

"' Wherefore the Lord God of Israel saith, I 
said indeed that thy house and the house of 
thy father, should walk before me forever ; but 
now the Lord saith, be it far from me ; for them 
that honor me I will honor, and they that de- 
spise me shall be lightly esteemed.' 1st Samuel, 
2: 30." 

On his return to Guyandotte he preached to 
an overflowing house — many standing out of 
doors unable to gain admission — text, Ps. 49: 8: 
"For the redemption of their soul is precious 
and it ceaseth forever." Mr. Baldwin in refer- 
ring to this occasion remarks: "I felt during 
the delivery of the sermon the power of God in 
an extraordinary degree, and was made happy in 
his love." How sweet the memory of such 
scenes ! 

July 13. " Called on Mrs. H. and G.,— had no 
prayers at either place, because their husbands 
were not religious. I was uncertain whether it 



122 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

was my duty to propose prayer, and I had some 
painful apprehensions as to duty; but upon an 
examination of the rule of Discipline, which di- 
rects us * never to part without prayer, ■ I 
thought it applied to ministers — though I be- 
lieve it our duty to pray with our people, and 
sinners too, whenever we have an opportunity. 
" We had a colored preacher here last night who 
was formerly a fellow traveler or attendant of 
Bishop Asbury. His preaching was greatly 
admired and attended with divine power. We 
had a lively and interesting meeting. 

" I fainted this morning immediately after I 
arose from my bed, and was insensible five or 
six minutes, since which time I have felt weak 
in body but happy in the love of God. l Glory 
be to God!'" He labored hard and with suc- 
cess on Guyandotte circuit. On the day of his 
departure he thus writes : 

"July 23. Thus the Lord has gloriously 
fulfilled his promise. He has been with me, 
he has strengthened me, helped me and upheld 
me with the right hand of his righteousness. 



ABUNDANT IN LABORS. 123 

I HAVE TRAVELED NOT LESS THAN ONE 
HUNDRED AND THIRTY MILES SINCE THURSDAY 
LAST, AND PREACHED ELEVEN SERMONS. My 

peace has been as a river, and I have scarcely 
known what fatigue or trouble was. To God 
be all the glory. Amen. I think my religious 
enjoyments for the last few weeks deeper and 
brighter than they ever were before." 



MY MOST EVENTFUL YEAE. 
CHAPTER XL 

to mrs. z. booth. 

December 31, 1833. 

My Dear Sister: I have thought often of 
writing to you ; but from some cause or other, 
could never find myself in a proper frame of 
mind and with sufficient energy for the task. 
For some months past, religion has been all my 
theme, and to write upon that subject I must be 
in the spirit. I have often sat down, as I 
thought, with a religious fervor sufficient to 
carry me through a letter of ordinary length, 
but I had hardly begun, before it completely 
subsided, and I found myself too cold to proceed. 
I pray the Lord to give me grace in this effort, 
to carry me successfully through the labor of 
love I have undertaken. 

This day closes the year 1833, and to me 
124 



WITHOUT HOPE IN CHRIST. 125 

it has been a most eventful one. On the first 
day of last January, I was the husband of 
an amiable wife, whom I tenderly loved, and 
by whom I was no less beloved. She was 
then upon a bed of languishing, and I was 
beginning to feel apprehensions that her earth- 
ly career was soon to be brought to a close. 
And what was more distressing and awful 
than even the apparently near approach of 
death, ( though I did not then regard her 
case as hopeless,) was, that she was a stranger 
to that blood which bought her pardon on 
the tree. I was also living " without God 
and without hope" in the world — -and without 
even a desire for the present attainment of 
religion. I was comfortably situated in life 
and actively engaged in an honorable and 
lucrative profession. I was addicted to many 

FASHIONABLE BUT ODIOUS AND DEGRADING 

vices ; and to all human appearance there 
were few then farther from God and righteous- 
ness than I was, and whose final destruction 
seemed more sure than mine. "But God, who 



126 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

is rich in mercy," was pleased to lead me to 
himself, " by a way I knew not." To my dear 
Elizabeth he granted repentance unto life, 
and enabled her to die in the triumphs of faith. 
My own eyes also he mercifully opened, and 
freely forgave all my sins, and extended to me 
redemption through the blood of his Son ; so 
that I was enabled to rejoice in hope of His 
glory, and to "feel his love shed abroad in 
my heart, by the Holy Ghost given unto me. 
The Spirit itself bore witness with my spirit 
that I was a child of God." I perfectly well 
remember the time and place of my conversion. 
It was too remarkable — the change was too 
striking, and the transition from darkness to 
light, from fear to hope, from sorrow to joy, 
from anxiety of care to perfect peace, and 
a calm, holy serenity of soul, a child-like 
confidence in God, and love to Him and to 
all the world, too sudden and entire to be soon 
forgotten. The fourteenth day of February, 
1833, will be long, if the Lord spares my 
life and mental faculties, remembered by me 



A HOUSELESS WANDERER. 127 

as a day of rejoicing and thanksgiving to God. 
In May I united with the Methodist Episcopal 
church, and about the last of July, having 
disposed of my professional business and most 
of my books, I commenced calling sinners 
to repentance ; at first, as an exhorter and 
local preacher in my own vicinity. Four weeks 
ago, I left Charleston and commenced traveling 
as a preacher on the Galliopolis circuit in 
Ohio — thus becoming a houseless wanderer 
with no certain dwelling place, "having here 
no continuing city, but looking for one which 
is to come." " What things were gain to me, 
those I counted loss for Christ.'' I have, 
however, yet to feel the first regret for having 
relinquished my worldly prospects, and made 
Jesus my portion and my all. I have not 
chosen an easy or an inactive life ; and rest 
assured I am not in pursuit of that which 
promises wealth, or distinction, or worldly 
honor. My full reward is not in this life, 
but in that great day for which all other days 
were made. I hope to be found among those 



128 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

" who have come out of great tribulation, and 
have washed their robes and made them white 
in the blood of the Lamb." 

But I have one more event in the history 
of the present year to record. I am again 
married. Last Thursday, the 26th instant, I 
became the husband of Mary Jane Lewis. 
And you will naturally ask, Who is Miss Lewis? 
Her father was Col. Andrew Lewis of this 
(Mason) county, a gentleman of highly re- 
spectable standing, who died in May last, leav- 
ing a widow and six children, the third of 
whom, and second daughter, is Mary Jane, 
aged a little upward of twenty-two years. In 
last June she became a member of the Meth- 
odist Episcopal church. I have received her 
as a gift of the Lord. 

As her mother lives just opposite a part 
of my circuit on the Yirginia side of the Ohio 
river, I expect to make her house my home, 
while I continue to travel my present circuit. 
I am in a most kind and amiable family, and 
feel entirely at home here. In a few days 



AN INCORRUPTIBLE CROWN. 129 

I expect, the Lord permitting, to visit Charles- 
ton, and to bring my little daughter, Mary 
Elizabeth, down with me. She was three years 
old the 27th of last November, and I think 
her a very fine, promising child. 

Thus, you see, the present has been an 
eventful year in my history. The world, doubt- 
less, looks upon my present condition and 
prospects as far worse than they were twelve 
months ago. And in a temporal view they 
are. Yet nothing beneath the sun could tempt 
me to turn back. If I have no certain dwell- 
ing place on the earth, yet I know I have 
a " building of God, an house not made with 
hands, eternal in the heavens." " If I am 
poor in things of this world, yet, am I rich 
in faith, and an heir of the kingdom ; if I 
am despised, a servant of servants here," I 
expect one day to wear a crown — not of gold 
or silver, or anything corruptible, but of right- 
eousness, reserved in heaven for me, which 
the Lord, the righteous Judge shall give me 
on that day ; and not to me only, but to all 
9 



130 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

who love the appearing of our Lord Jesus 
Christ. 

"In hope of that immortal crown, 
I now the cross sustain ; 
And gladly wander up and down, 
And smile at toil and pain." 

I doubt not, you can enter into many of 
my feelings. But you are surprised at my 
becoming a Methodist preacher ! You would 
have greatly preferred that I should have con- 
tinued in the church of my fathers — the church 
in which I was born and brought up, and of 
which, most of our family who profess religion, 
are members. It is true the doctrines of the 
Protestant Episcopal and Methodist churches 
are- essentially the same, but the system^and 
economy of the latter I think far better adapt- 
ed for extensive and general usefulness, than 
that of the former ; and this consideration had 
great weight with me, for, if I was to give 
up the world, and enter the vineyard of my 
Lord and Master, it was for labor, not for 
repose — to labor as much and as usefully as 



MY CUP RUNNETH OVER. 131 

possible. The only question with me was, 
how I could win most souls to Christ ; not, 
how I could secure myself the most comfortable 
support, or acquire a place among the learned 
and distinguished in the land. I came on 
my circuit four weeks this day, and I have 
since then preached thirty-two sermons, 
at twenty different places, and this is hardly 
an average of my monthly labors. But, I bless 
the Lord, he has mercifully preserved my 
health, and hath caused my cup to overflow with 
blessings ; and I trust some good has already 
been done under my ministry, and more I 
hope will yet be accomplished. But next to the 
Methodist Episcopal church, I should probably 
choose the Episcopal, though, to be candid, 
there is no church I can compare with the 
Methodist. Your forms of worship, though 
well adapted for devotion to those who imbibe 
' their spirit, and are accustomed to them, I 
think, can not be readily or profitably intro- 
duced among strangers, and in many congre- 
gations where members can not read at all, 



132 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

and few read well, would be altogether im- 
practicable. To make tbese impressive, the 
minister must not only possess deep piety, 
but be a good reader, and the congregation 
be well trained and enter with true devotional 
feelings into the exercises. I think a short, 
fervent, appropriate, and extemporary prayer 
far better calculated to awaken feelings of 
devotion in the pious, and to produce serious- 
ness and excite reflection in the minds of the 
irreligious, than the services prescribed in 
your Church — if the preacher be truly a man 
of God, (and none other has any right to 
attempt to preach,) and feeling that he knows 
not how to pray as he ought, he asks the 
Spirit to make intercession for him. God will 
not only give him the " preparation of the 
heart," but the " answer of the tongue;" and 
while the voice of prayer and supplication 
is lifted up on high, the Lord will "pour 
water upon him that is thirsty, and floods 
upon the dry ground." I know it is urged 
as an objection against us, that many, probably 



HAD BEEN WITH JESUS. 133 

by far the most of our preachers are uneduca- 
ted and inexperienced men — and such, it is said, 
are unfit to be teachers and guides in the 
way of salvation. It is admitted that few of 
our preachers, upon their first setting out, 
have had many of the advantages which the 
wisdom of the world affords. In ancient times 
men were called from their flocks, their plows, 
and their fishing nets, to be leaders of armies, 
prophets and apostles, and in these latter days 
the farm, the counting-house, and the work- 
shops are yearly sending forth heralds of the 
cross and messengers of salvation to a be- 
nighted and perishing world. Moses was "not 
eloquent, neither heretofore nor since the Lord 
had spoken to him, but slow of speech and 
of a slow tongue," yet the rod of God was 
in his hand. Our Savior "never learned let- 
ters," yet "he spake as never man spake." 
Peter and John were unlearned and ignorant 
men, but "they had been with Jesus," as 
even their enemies acknowledged ; and under 
their preaching "three thousand were convert- 



134 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

ed in one day." And Christ sent Paul to 
preach the gospel, "not with the wisdom of 
words, lest the cross of Christ should be made 
of none effect;" for as "God has chosen the 
foolish things of the world, to confound the 
wise, and the weak things of the world, to 
confound the mighty, and base things of the 
world, and things which are despised, yea, 
and the things which are not, to bring to 
nought things that are," his speech and 
preaching was not with enticing words of man's 
wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit 
and of power, that their faith to whom he 
preached should not stand in the wisdom of 
men, but in the power of God, and that " no 
flesh should glory in his presence." And thus 
is it even now. It is not "the wise, the 
scribe, the disputer of this world," that is 
ordinarily the instrument chosen by God to 
prick the hearts of sinners — to stir them up 
to repentance and lead them to Christ. They 
are those whom the world despises as unlearned 
and ignorant, who come "not with excellency 



CROWN OF REJOICING. 135 

of speech or of wisdom, declaring the testi- 
mony of God," but who, despising the honor 
which cometh not from God, determine to "know 
nothing among men, save Jesus Christ and 
him crucified." To such "God giveth souls 
as seals to their ministry, and stars in their 
crown of rejoicing." 

My heart's desire and prayer is, "that you 
may be saved from all sin, and that you may 
enjoy continually that peace which passeth 
all understanding." I thank God, I feel that I 
am "growing in grace and in the knowledge 
of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ." Be- 
lieving in full redemption — in the attainment 
of that perfect love which casteth out all fear — 
"this one thing I do, forgetting those things 
which are behind, and reaching forth unto 
those things which are before, I press toward 
the mark for the prize of the high calling 
of God in Christ Jesus." "Let us, therefore, 
as many as be perfect be thus minded." 

I desire you to write to me. It is now more 
than thirteen years since I have seen you. 



136 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

Little did I then imagine so long a period 
would elapse before we should meet each other, 
and it is now uncertain, whether, in the prov- 
idence of God, we shall ever see each other 
in the flesh. But glory to His name ! I feel 
that we have now a prospect of meeting in 
heaven, to part no more forever. You have 
been more than a mother to me; I can never 
forget your kindness — early begun and long 
continued — your more than maternal love to 
me, when an all-wise Providence had deprived 
my infant years of the guidance, the protection 
and the prayers of a pious mother. May "the 
very God of peace sanctify you wholly ; and 
I pray God, your whole spirit, and soul, and 
body, be preserved blameless unto the coming 
of our Lord Jesus Christ." 

Your affectionate brother, 

Charles R. Baldwin. 
Mrs. Z. Booth. 



WHAT IS YOUR FAITH? 
CHAPTER XII. 

The following pungent and excellent letters 
in defense of the Bible, were addressed by 
Mr. Baldwin to a beloved relative in Mason 
county, Virginia, in whose spiritual welfare he 
felt a deep interest : 

Charleston, Oct 30, 1833. 

Dear Cornelius : I have read two letters 
from you within a few weeks, both of which 
I have neglected to answer. In fact, for several 
months past, I have written but few letters. 
I have now one lying on my table written 

weeks, if not months ago to B , which 

I have not forwarded, because I have forgotten 
where to direct it. I did not answer your first 
letter because I did not know what to say 
to you. Had you pointed out the "contra- 
dictions" to which you refer, I might have 
137 



138 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

attempted to reconcile them. As it is, your 
charges being general^ I can go into no specific 
refutation. You say you " do not believe the 
Scriptures are true," or words to that effect. You 
have then, I presume, no belief in any divine 
revelation to man. What is your system? 
For every man ought to have some system 
of religion. Are you a Deist or an Atheist? 
or are you but a Skeptic — a doubter and dis- 
believer? Before I argue with you upon the 
Christian Religion, I must know "your faith," 
that we may discuss the comparative merits 
of your system and mine. Truth lies some- 
where. Before we fly off from the gospel 
dispensation, it is well to know where we are 
to alight. We cannot always remain suspend- 
ed in the air. You will excuse me for putting 
to you a few questions. Do you believe in 
one supreme, eternal, self-existent Being, whom 
we call God ? Is He the creator of all things? 
Is He the creator and governor of all men? 
Are we intelligent moral agents ? Have we 
immortal souls? Has God prescribed laws 



MORE CONVENIENT TO DOUBT. 139 

for the government of His moral creatures? 
If He has, how are those laws made known 
to us ? What are they ? What is their obli- 
gation and what their sanction ? If we violate 
them, how is the offense to be ascertained, tried, 
and punished? By what rule are we to be 
judged, and who is to judge us? 

You doubt the truth of the Holy Scriptures. 
So I did once. I read Hume on Miracles, I 
was pleased with his sophistry, and wished 
to be wiser than my neighbors, to be esteemed 
as above prejudice and superstition. If the 
Bible was true, I was condemned by every 
page. I was one of those, as I doubt not 
you are, who would not come to the light, 
lest those deeds should be reproved — for I 
was conscious they would not bear the light. 
For the present it was more convenient to 
doubt, so I tried to be a skeptic. But I could 
never succeed to my own satisfaction. It was 
easy enough to tear down, but not so easy 
to build up. If the Christian Religion be a 
cunningly devised fable, what better have we 



140 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

on which to build our hopes? If the soul 
is immortal, what is to become of it after 
death ? By what other system is it to be made 
happy ? If we reject the Scripture account 
of a future state of rewards and punishments, 
what have we to substitute in its place? Death 
then is " taking a leap in the dark;" but that 
leap is but for a moment, we shall soon land 
somewhere. We may be skeptics here, but death 
will soon put an end to our skepticism. What 
then if the Bible should prove true? "He 
that believeth not shall be damned."' Religion 
then is not a subject upon which it is equally 
safe to be right or wrong. We cannot always 
remain under a delusion. And it is an awful 
thing to make the first discovery of one's 
situation, when it is too late to correct our 
error, and our destiny is fixed to all eternity. 

"Search the Scriptures,'' said our Savior to 
the unbelieving Jews. Search them carefully, 
diligently, perseveringly, if you are really an 
inquirer after truth. If you desire knowledge, 
and feel that you lack wisdom, "ask of Grod 



ABOVE VULGAR PREJUDICE. 141 

who giveth liberally and upbraideth not." Do 
not smile. You will never understand the 
Scriptures until you apply to their divine 
Author for light. They can not be mastered 
like any branch of human learning. We must 
come to Christ if we would have light. " Where 
is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where 
is the disputer of this world ? Hath not God 
made foolish the wisdom of this world?" "For 
after that in the wisdom of God, the world 
by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God 
by the foolishness of preaching to save them 
that believe."— 1 Cor. 1 : 20, 21. Do not feel 
above being taught by the all-wise God. Many 
quite as wise as yourself, have felt it an 
unspeakable privilege to be permitted humbly 
to ask instruction of the Almighty God. Be 
not too much lifted up with the idea of being 
superior to vulgar prejudice. " If any man 
seemeth to be wise in this world, let him 
become a fool that he may be wise." If you 
should think it not beneath your dignity to 
pray, come to God just as you are — ignorant, 



142 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

helpless, and altogether undeserving of his 
notice, and forget not also that you are nothing 
but a miserable sinner, and but for the mercy of 
God through Christ, inevitably doomed to hell, 
and pray God to lead you in the way to ever- 
lasting life. Of one thing be assured, that this 
question of your belief or disbelief in the 
Bible affects you far more than any one else. 
Heaven will be a happy place, though you 
should fail to get there, and hell will be misera- 
ble, even though graced with your presence. 
In adverting to the New Testament, you use 
such terms as these, a contradictions, erroneous 
opinions, false reasoning, incorrect remarks," 
and ask in effect, " what reliance can be put 
in any of God's revelations if the Scriptures 
be true?" Surely you could not have well 
weighed the import of those terms when you 
employed them. If they be true, (the Scrip- 
tures,) the direct revelation of God, how stands 
your account with the divine Author? You 
are standing on slippery ground. The world 
may admire your boldness and applaud your 



FATALLY DECEIVED. 143 

independence, but you are fatally deceived as 
to the ground on which you stand. / know 
that the Christian Religion is true. I have 
internal evidence that the gospel of Christ 
is the power of God. All who truly repent 
and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, know 
for themselves that they are the children of 
God. " He that believeth on the Son of God 
hath the witness in himself." — 1 John, 5: 
10. " The Spirit itself beareth witness 
with our spirit that we are the children of 
God/' 5 This intoard testimony, this divine 
conviction wrought upon the soul> I would 
not exchange for all the world has to bestow. 
You have, perhaps, heard before this time, 
that I have relinquished the practice of the 
law. I am now a Methodist preacher, an office 
poor and despised by the men of the world; 
but one which I would not exchange for the 
highest honors of the profession. Nothing 
but the fullest conviction of the truth of the 
Christian Religion could have induced me to 
forego my nattering worldly prospects, and to 



144 CONVERSION OP A SKEPTIC. 

abandon a profession to which I was devotedly 
attached, for the hardships, toils, persecutions, 
and dangers incident to the itinerant life of 
a Methodist preacher. 

My health is pretty good, and my little girl 
grows finely. In writing to me, please address 
me as Mr, C. R. B., &c. Your friends here 
are well, so far as I know. I sold out the 

most of my books to S , and his partner, 

Thompson, and transferred my business prin- 
cipally to them. They have now a fine prac- 
tice. J. W. Laidly has united in business 

with B. H. Smith, and Walker & W are 

practicing together. 

Affectionately, 

Charles R. Baldwin. 

A HEART-SEARCHING APPEAL. 

G-uyandotte, January 23, 1834. 

My Dear Cornelius : You can not, or will 

not, believe the Bible as a divine revelation. 

Doubtless, you have critically examined it with 

the various reasons and arguments for and 



WITHOUT CHART OR COMPASS. 145 

against its authenticity. You have weighed 
well these reasons, and your opinion, which is 
expressed in bold, unqualified., and decisive 
language — is the result of a deliberate, careful, 
and candid examination. The question is cer- 
tainly one of vast importance, for if we take 
away the Bible, we are left, in relation to 
our spiritual and eternal welfare, floating upon 
a boundless ocean, shoreless and bottomless, 
without chart or compass. Time sweeping us 
onward — our passions sometimes blowing to 
a tempest, and reason standing motionless at 
the helm. Thus we are driven, tossed upon 
the raging billows, darkness setting in upon 
us, clouds obscuring our sky, the storm gather- 
ing darkly and the heavens frowning angrily 
upon us ] breakers and whirlpools ahead — our 
little vessel, " freighted with our eternal all," 
weather-beaten and decayed, creaking and 
groaning with every blast, now thrown upon 
the mountain wave, now plunging into the 
awful abyss — just ready to fall into pieces, with 
the fearful certainty that she can not outride 
10 



146 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

the storm — but with the more fearful uncer- 
tainty at what moment she may sink to rise 
no more. Such are the happy results of skep- 
ticism, the boasted triumphs, the glorious un- 
certainties to which reason brings us, when 
we get loose from the moorings of Christianity, 
and launch upon the broad sea of doubt and 
infidelity. What delightful sailing, if we could 
only be assured of uninterrupted fair weather, 
a clear sky and a gentle breeze — if our little 
stock of provisions could never fail, nor our 
bark grow old and crazy. And yet, methinks, 
the eternal monotony of an unvaried sky 
and a boundless expanse of water would soon 
become tiresome. We should begin to sigh 
for land, to drop the line for anchorage, to 
examine the chart and the log-book, if we 
had kept one, and to hail some passing vessel, 
to learn, if possible, at least, our latitude, 
and in what direction we were going. 

As a man of sense and reflection, you have 
doubtless calmly and deliberately weighed all 
these considerations, and a great many more 



UNKNOWN AND FATHOMLESS ABYSS. 147 

which your acute penetration has suggested; 
and you have, probably, arrived at some system 
of religion, which, happily, avoids the absurdi- 
ties and inconsistencies of the Bible, and 
promises to guide you safely, " through the 
dark valley and shadow of death," and to give 
you a comfortable resting place beyond the 
grave; — for any system of religion or philoso- 
phy, which stops short of this, is altogether 
unworthy of the consideration of a rational 
mind. We shall find no difficulty in getting 
to the grave ourselves ; any scheme which 
acknowledges that we are mortal, will accom- 
pany us that far ; but most of us feel at least 
some curiosity, if not anxiety, to know what 
is to follow. This " baking a leap in the dark" 
may be pleasant em . ;h for the imagination, 
as she has the privilege of returning if she 
can find no stopping place — but for die poor 
soul to take an eternal leap into the dark, 
frightful, fathomless abyss, unknowing and 
unknown, is certainly enough to make it 
recoil with horror. If, however, you have been 



148 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

fortunate enough to discover any system of 
truth., independent of the Bible, any other 
than the Christian dispensation, which robs 
" death of its sting and the grave of its vic- 
tory ; " I shall be pleased to learn what it is, 
upon what basis it rests, and by what author- 
ity it is supported. St. Paul tells us that " other 
foundation can no man lay, than that is laid, 
which is Jesus Christ." The infidel philoso- 
phers of the last century, if I mistake not, 
went no farther than to attempt to pull down 
the fabric of Christianity, but were unable to 
erect any other on its ruins. If you reject the 
authority of Paul and Peter, give us some- 
thing better. If you are a disciple of Hume 
or Voltaire, of Rosseau or Tom Paine, I feel 
curious to know where your great masters 
now are, before I can consent to follow them. 
I have no idea of a " leap in the dark," even 
although by chance I might land in their 
very respectable company. With Peter I pre- 
fer the " lively hope of an inheritance incor- 
ruptible, undefiled, and that fadeth not away, 



DEATH-BED TERRORS OF ROSSEAU. 149 

reserved in heaven for me," to all the doubts 
and glorious uncertainties of skepticism. With 
Paul, after having " fought a good fight, finish- 
ed my course and kept the faith," I should 
choose the triumphant exclamation, "Hence- 
forth there is laid up for me a crown of 
righteousness, which the Lord the righteous 
Judge shall give me in that day," rather than 
all the death-bed doubts of a Hume, or the 
death-bed terrors of a Rosseau. 

Has not pride something to do with your 
Unbelief? The pride of being thought inde-^ 
pendent, of rising superior to vulgar prejudice, 
of being above the common opinions and 
notions of mankind ? Just try and get un- 
trammeled in your opinions, and the next step 
is to be unrestrained in your moral conduct. 
Take it for granted you are not to blame for 
any error of judgment, so that your theory 
and practice are consistent, all is safe. Push 
your system to its legitimate results, and where 
will it lead you? The Jews did not believe 
in Christ, for had they known him, " they 



150 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

would not have crucified the Lord of life and 
glory." If he was an impostor, Judas was 
right in betraying, Pilate in scourging and con- 
demning, and the soldiers in mocking, buffet- 
ing, and crucifying him. On which side are 
you ? For Barnabas or for Jesus ? Weeping 
like Mary at the cross, or like the Jews, crying 
out, crucify, crucify him ? Like the hardened 
thief reviling the dying Savior, or with the 
broken-hearted penitent, crying, "Lord, re- 
member me when thou comest into thy king- 
dom? Or are you undecided, resting upon 
your skepticism — satisfied to doubt? Remem- 
ber, "He hath appointed a day in which He 
will judge the world in righteousness by that 
man whom he hath ordained; whereof he hath 
given assurance unto all men, in that he hath 
raised him from the dead.". Remember, "The 
times of this ignorance God winked at, but now 
commandeth all men etesy where to repent." 
And "it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands 
of the living God." If the Bible be true, 
unbelief will be no excuse, for "he that be- 



BEWARE OF PRIDE AND OBSTINACY. 151 

lieveth not, shall be damned." "He that 
believe th not is condemned already, because 
lie hath not believed in the name of the only 
begotten Son of God." "And this is the con- 
demnation, that light is come into the world, 
and men loved darkness rather than light, 
because their deeds are evil. For every one 
that doeth evil, hateth the light, neither cometh 
to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved." 
You are standing on dangerous ground — you 
have a part to act. He that is not for 
Christ, is against him ; he that gathereth not 
with him, scattereth abroad. And remember, 
you are acting, you are choosing for yourself 
It is your own soul you are periling — not mine. 
I know that the Bible is true. I have felt — 
I have experimentally proved its truth. I have 
a hope full of immortality, which is as an 
anchor to the soul both sure and steadfast. 
Beware of pride, of obstinacy, of the damning 
sin of unbelief. Do not tempt the Lord too 
far. "Can a man be profitable unto God, 
as be that is wise may be profitable unto him- 



152 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

self? " " Is it any pleasure to the Almighty 
that thou art righteous ? Is it gain to him 
that thou makest thy way perfect ? " I would 
advise you to retrace your steps, reconsider 
your opinions, reflect seriously upon the sal- 
vation of your soul, upon the great redemption 
which Jesus purchased with his blood. As 
yet, " thou hast neither part nor lot in the 
matter ; for thy heart is not right in the 
sight of Grod. Repent, therefore, of this thy 
sin, and pray God, if, perhaps, the thought 
of thy heart may be forgiven thee, for I per- 
ceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness, 
and in the bond of iniquity." Death will 
break the charm of infidelity, and resolve the 
doubts of skepticism, but it will then be too 
late to profit by the discovery of your errors; 
— for as death leaves us, so judgment will find 
us. " Search the Scriptures" daily, not for 
confirmation of your false theories, but for the 
truth ; and if you lack wisdom, as you un- 
questionably do ? be not ashamed to "ask of 



: 



UNFADING GLORIES. 153 

God who giveth liberally to all men and up- 
braideth not." 

You have probably heard that I have relin- 
quished the practice of the law, and am now 
a traveling Methodist preacher. I am on the 
Galliopolis circuit for the present year, which 
will terminate in August. Nothing short of 
a perfect assurance of the truth of divine 
revelation and an experimental knowledge of 
Christ, would have ever induced me to forego 
my worldly prospects and become a houseless 
wanderer — a despised follower of the meek 
and lowly Jesus. To the natural man all this 
is foolishness. He ridicules and despises me, 
and from my soul I pity and pray for him. 
He can not comprehend how I can voluntarily 
give up the comforts and enjoyments of life, 
and expose myself to the hardships, and priva- 
tions, and trials of an itinerant ministry ; and 
I, in my heart, no less wonder at that stupidity 
and blindness that prefers temporal to eternal 
things — the fleeting pleasures of earth, to the 
unfading glories of heaven. 



154 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

Our time is short. The joys of him who 
was " clothed in purple and fine linen, and 
fared sumptuously every day," came to an end, 
and the poor beggar who was laid at his 
gate, covered with sores, and who desired to 
be fed with the crumbs which fell from his 
table, at last found relief from all his suffer- 
ings in death. But how changed was the 
picture! Under what different circumstances, 
and with what different prospects did they re- 
spectively await their final change ? Wealth 
could not bribe, nor the most squalid misery 
frighten the grim monster from his prey; 
and in that solemn hour, how little did the 
one esteem his large possessions, that he was 
about to leave, and the other lament his afflic- 
tions, now to terminate forever. For myself, 
I feel no concern, where, or when, or how I 
die, so that lean die in triumphs of a living faith, 
and fall asleep in the arms of my Redeemer. 

" Happy, if with my latest breath 
I may but gasp His name ; 
Preach him to all, and cry in death, 
Behold, behold the Lamb." 



DIVINE TRUTH. 155 

I was married on Thursday evening last, 
to Mary Jane Lewis, daughter of the late 
Col. Andrew Lewis, of this county, and am 
now at her mother's. Mrs. Lewis is a sister 
of Charles A. Stuart, of Augusta, and your 
aunt Jane was several years since a pupil of 
Mr. Estabrook, in Staunton, and a school-mate 
of Elizabeth. I have not seen my dear little 
Mary for five weeks to-day, but I expect, the 
Lord permitting, to bring her down here in 
a few days. And I pray the Lord to enlighten 
your dark understanding, with the knowledge 
of divine truth, and to give you " repentance 
unto life that needeth not to be repented of." 
Affectionately, your uncle, 

Charles R. Baldwin. 



HIS WORD OF TESTIMONY. 
CHAPTER XIII. 

John in his beautiful vision of the glorified 
in the Apocalypse says: "And they overcame 
him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word 
of their testimony; and they loved not their 
lives unto the death." Rev. 12: 11. 

Mr. Baldwin having experienced full salva- 
tion in the blood of the Lamb, did not fail on 
all suitable occasions to add "the word of his 
testimony." He had the true martyr spirit of 
the gospel of Christ. His fidelity to his Master 
was a prominent feature in his religious charac- 
ter. " That the communication of thy faith may 
become effectual by the acknowledging of 
every good thing which is in you in Christ 
Jesus." Philemon, 1: 6. 

This was the rule by which Mr. Baldwin was 

governed. He confessed Christ before men 
156 



THE HEAVENLY VISITANT. 157 

and acknowledged " every good thing" 
which was wrought in his heart by the Spirit 
of God. The following narration of his re- 
ligious experience is deeply interesting: 

" You know my mind has long been exercis- 
ed on the- subject of 'Sanctification,' and I have 
long been endeavoring to ' go on to perfection,' 
to attain the prize of our high calling of God in 
Christ Jesus. In December last while praying 
for sanctification, Heaven came down into my 
soul, and I was lost in the ocean of God's love. 
But I did not yet feel the cleansing operation of 
the Holy Spirit; the healing and sanctifying 
application of the blood of Christ. I did not 
draw near in full assurance of faith, and I have 
since sought the blessing, but not with the right 
disposition of heart to receive it. The lan- 
guage of Christ is " Behold I stand at the door 
and knock, if any man hear my voice and open 
the door, I will come in to him, and sup with 
him, and he with me." But I had been afraid 
to admit the heavenly visitant ; I trembled at 
the thought of receiving so large a measure of 



158 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

divine grace. Knowing that the candle was 
not lit to be hid, that every talent was given to 
be improved, and that which was spoken in the 
ear was to be proclaimed upon the house tops, 
I feared the more arduous duties and solemn 
responsibilities which would grow out of this 
unspeakable gift. Hence, though I heard the 
voice of Jesus, I did not fully open the door, 
nor had I felt as yet the necessity of being 
made 'every whit whole;' of having every root 
of bitterness destroyed, and every guilty stain 
washed away. 

" Yesterday morning I arose under a strong 
conviction of my unfaithfulness and my ex- 
ceeding vileness in the sight of a pure and holy 
God, and this feeling was increased while en- 
gaged in my secret devotion. Opening upon a 
portion of God's holy word I was forcibly re- 
minded of past favors and blessings which I had 
received at His hands; the ease with which I 
yielded to many of my l besetting sins;' — The 
Lord threatened to disown me before his people, 
to cause all my mirth and my solemn feast to 



A DOOR OF HOPE. 159 

cease and to take away my place in the sanctu- 
ary, and to visit upon me the days when I had 
burned incense to the God of this world, had 
decked myself with jewels, and had forgotten 
the Lord. But with all these threatenings the 
promise was powerfully applied to me that the 
Lord would ' allure me and bring me into the 
wilderness and speak comfortably unto me, that 
He would give me my vineyards from thence, 
and the valley of Achor for a door of hope, 
and I should sing there as in the days of my 
youth, and as in the days when I came up out 
of the land of Egypt, and it shall be in that 
day, saith the Lord, that thou shalt call me 
" Ihsi, husband," and shall call me no more 
"Baali," my master, and I will betroth thee unto 
me in righteousness and judgment, and in 
loving kindness, and in mercies I will even 
betroth thee unto me in faithfulness, and thou 
shalt know that I am the Lord, and will say to 
them which were not my people, "Thou art my 
people," and they shall say, "Thou art my God." 
Could I doubt after this message, thus made 



160 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

known, what was the will of God concerning 
me? I again prostrated myself before the 
Lord, and it appeared as if I saw my own soul 
covered all over with the dark guilty stains of sin, 
and I cried, unclean, unclean. I felt too, within 
my own heart, the seeds of pride and sinful af- 
fections, thoughts and desires, — remaining roots 
of bitterness springing up continually to 
trouble me. I prayed that every sinful stain 
might be washed away, every root of bitterness 
plucked up, every unholy desire, sinful affec- 
tion, evil temper and disposition destroyed, that 
the house might be emptied, swept and gar- 
nished, and my body made a temple of the 
Holy Ghost, that refining fire might go 
through my heart, illuminate it and scatter 
its life through every part and 'sanctify the 
whole.' My prayer was answered; I felt the 
cleansing operation of the blood of Christ, the 
sanctifying influence of the Holy Spirit re- 
moving every guilty stain, destroying all sin, 
emptying the heart of everything evil, and 
causing me to feel that I was clean. But as 



THE MYSTERY MADE KNOWN. 161 

yet the Lord had not breathed into me the 
breath of spiritual life. I was indeed cleansed 
of all filthiness and of all my idols, and a new 
heart was put into me which I felt to be pure, 
but the new spirit was not put within me. I 
turned to the 24th chapter of Exodus, where 
the appearance of the Lord is described as it 
were the 'body of Heaven in his cleanness,' 
when my eye rested on the 17th verse. At that 
instant the love of God filled me, both soul and 
body, running like fire through every part. 

I could not refrain from shouting aloud. At 

II o'clock I preached at Bro. Rathburn's upon 
sanctification, from Eph., 3: 3, 'How that by 
revelation he made known unto me the mys- 
tery.' And the Lord blessed the word. In 
class I declared what the Lord had done for me, 
and towards the clpse I was filled to overflow- 
ing with the pure* unmerited love of God, 
the sanctifying stream of divine grace flowed 
through my soul, far surpassing in richness any 
thing I had felt when justified. 0, the de- 
lightful holy joys of that hour, so sweet, so 

11 



162 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

pure, so refreshing to the soul. I could then 
magnify God with the new tongue of praise. 
At half-past nine o'clock I retired to bed, and 
my eyes being heavy with sleep, I did not 
watch with Christ in 'fervent effectual prayer' 
before I lay down. I soon fell asleep and 
awoke before midnight, was tempted to indulge in 
an unkind thought towards an individual. I neg- 
lected to pray earnestly against the temptation, 
and immediately I felt that I was forsaken of 
God. I got up, and four times I was on my 
knees in inexpressible agony of soul, in a state bor- 
dering on despair. Such wretchedness and mis- 
ery I never experienced before. My deepest dis- 
tress when under conviction was as nothing to 
the horror of that hour. I felt if I was called 
from time to eternity, I had not then the slight- 
est hope of Heaven. Prayer seemed to bring 
no relief. I again lay down and began to 
think of God and his unmerited goodness to 
me in times past, and I resolved to love and 
praise Him, though banished from His presence 
and the glory of his power. ' Though he slay 



STAND ONLY IN GRACE. 163 

me yet will I trust in Him. 7 Immedi- 
ately His love was shed abroad in my heart, 
and I felt the Witness of the Spirit and gave 
glory to God aloud. This morning, while on 
my knees, I had entire access to God, and 
when I arose his love filled my heart, and I 
have had to-day an abiding sense of his pres- 
ence." 

"May 8. — Towards night yesterday I crossed 
the Ohio river to preach in Galliopolis, and 
while riding along the road I felt perfect love 
and a clear witness of the mighty work wrought 
by the Holy Spirit, of which I retained an 
abiding sense during the remainder of the 
day. I felt no inward ' motions of sin/ and 
the worth of souls never lay so near my heart. 
I felt an almost constant direction of the Holy 
Spirit dwelling within me, and the least omis- 
sion or backwardness in duty and obedience 
caused an uneasy, painful sensation at my 
heart. It is only in grace that I stand, and I 
cannot live aicay from Christ. All my enjoy- 
ment is in Him, and I never felt so painfully 



1G4 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

my short comings, l Every moment, Lord, I 
need the merit of thy death.' I bless the 
Lord that almost every moment I feel that 
merit. To-day I have been unspeakably hap- 
py; my soul filled with pure seraphic fire, 
the witness of the Holy Spirit constant, and 
so clear as to leave no manner of doubt. Glory 
to Jesus ! my soul is now all on fire — the pure 
fire of holy love. To be a servant of God is an 
unspeakable honor, to be adopted into his 
family, and to be made a child, an inconceivable 
felicity; but the highest state of all, to be be- 
trothed unto Christ in faithfulness: ' I will 
betroth thee unto me in faithfulness and thou 
shalt know the Lord.' Hos. 2: 20. Even 
faith itself seems to stagger. — Does not the 
Apostle Paul refer to this intimate union be- 
tween Christ and believers in Eph. 2 : 5, 6, 7; 
and St. John calls the church the 'Bride, the 
Lamb's wife.' I can now comprehend the say- 
ing of our Savior to the woman of Samaria, 
' The water that I shall give him shall be in 
him a well of water springing up into ever- 



SELF-DENYING RULES. 165 

lasting life.' I feel this well within my soul 
almost every hour. 

' Spring up, well, I ever cry, 
Spring up within my soul.' 

"But how is this blessing to be sought? I can 
only say how I sought and found it. From the 
time I became a follower of Jesus, I endeavor- 
ed to walk in his footsteps, and whether I ate 
or drank, or whatever I did, to do all to the 
glory of God. I strove, and watched, and 
prayed against temptation. I endeavored to 
mortify all the deeds of the body and to take 
up every cross daily. I believed in the con- 
stant guidance and direction of the Holy Spirit, 
and I prayed for it and endeavored to follow 
where it led. But I did not always live up to 
my rules, but too often took pattern after others 
who were in truth pious and much devoted to 
the Lord, but had not laid down for themselves 
very close, severe, self-denying rules of lining, 
I said, this man is a servant of God, enjoys re- 
ligion, and is owned of his Master; he indulges 



166 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

in many little things which, though unnecessary, 
are perhaps not sinful. But I brought lean- 
ness unto my soul. One desire brought on 
another and led my heart away from Christ. I 
did not make Him 'my portion and my all.' I 
did not, however, I bless the Lord, stray far 
away. — The Holy Spirit continually brought 
me back. The work of divine grace became 
deeper and deeper, my enjoyment purer, high- 
er and more lasting, and I felt more painfully 
my short comings and my unworthiness. I 
looked more away from men and sought the 
approbation of God. I have often felt painfully 
my proneness to think too well of myself to 
speak of meetings in which I have acted a 
prominent part, to desire commendation instead 
of being humbled under a sense of God's good- 
ness to me in the rich blessings I had received 
at his hands. ' Charity vaunteth not itself, is 
not puffed up, and doth not behave itself un- 
seemly; seeketh not her own.' I have been 
too prone to take some praise of a good meet- 
ing to myself, forgetting that Herod was smit- 



LITTLE INDULGENCES. 167 

ten for this very cause, i because lie gave not 
God the glory.' Of one thing I am entirely 
satisfied, that I might have obtained the bless- 
ing months ago; for God was as able and willing 
then to bestow the blessing as now, had I lived 
faithful. — When we are justified the affection 
and desires are all nailed to the Cross, and they 
will soon die if we give them no relief. But 
they are such beggars, they urge with such im- 
portunity, and these little indulgences in which 
there is no harm, insensibly draw the mind 
away from Christ, and keep the soul in bond- 
age. 'Whatever is not of faith is sin/ and there 
is harm in everything that is not done express- 
ly with reference to the glory of God. No 
action of our lives is indifferent. When the 'eye 
is single, the whole body is full of light.' 
4 Whatever ye do in word or deed, do all in the 
name of the Lord Jesus Christ.' Every sincere 
follower of Christ who knows and feels his 
wants, will say, 

'1 want a sober mind, 
A self-renouncing will, 



168 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

That tramples down and casts behind 
The baits of pleasing ill.' 

" But after all, faith in Christ is the condition, 
the merits of Christ the procuring cause, and 
His blood applied by the Holy Spirit, the 
efficient agent of our sanctification, as well as 
our justification. 

' My Savior's pierced side 

Poured out a double flood, 
By water we are purified 
And pardoned by his blood.' 

"May 16. I am still happy in the Lord and 
going on my way rejoicing. On Sunday in love- 
feast I declared what God had done for my 
soul, and my heart was again filled with his 
pure love. But 0, what a communion season 
to my soul! ' Truly, our fellowship is with the 
Father and His son Jesus Christ.' Before my 
eyes Jesus Christ was evidently set forth cruci- 
fied, and manifest in the flesh. I saw him hang- 
ing upon the cross, and the stream of blood and 
water commingled, flowing from his side, and 
then every barrier removed, to be broken down, 



ENTIRE CONSECRATION. 169 

and Christ, spiritually, was completely let into 
my soul, and I was filled from the ocean of his 
love. what a rich, tender, melting, heart- 
dissolving season. I felt no transports, but my 
soul was all dissolved in love. To-day and 
yesterday my Savior has been unspeakably 
precious. I do feel that I love God with all my 
heart, mind, strength and soul, and I believe also 
my neighbor as myself. I feel that I would 
sooner wrong myself than my worst enemy. 
In making this declaration I am conscious that 
I am inviting scrutiny, but I cannot deny my 
Lord and master. To his name be all the glory. 
For I am only a ' brand plucked out of the fire/ 
a monument of amazing mercy, and without 
divine grace I cannot stand one moment. I 
have to pray without ceasing to keep from 
falling. 

'Forever here my rest shall be 

Close to thy bleeding side, 
This all my hope and all my plea, 

For me the Savior died.' 

" Pray for me, for I need your prayers perhaps 



170 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

more than ever. Should I fall, the hottest 
place in hell would be my portion. But tnank 
God, I have no 'fear that hath torment' He 
that keepeth Israel will neither slumber nor 
sleep. The Lord will do His part, and O, may 
He keep me faithful. Wishing you health and 
strength, I remain in the bonds and fellowship 
of the gospel in the kingdom and patience 
of Jesus Christ. 

" Your brother and companion, 

"C. K. Baldwin." 



LIFE'S HAPPIEST HOURS. 
CHAPTER XIV. 

TO MRS. ELIZABETH H. GARBER. 

My dear Niece: — I was truly glad to hear 
from you. I have always esteemed you one 
of the most valuable of my correspondents, and 
it is not willingly that I would give you up. 
If I have separated myself from your church, 
I yet remain attached to you. 

It is painful to bid an everlasting farewell to 
our friends, or rather to take an eternal leave 
of them, 'for it is no farewell to sorrow con- 
cerning them, even as others who have no 
hope.' Yet what are we ourselves but brands 
plucked out of the fire? Instead of daring to 
murmur against God for not irresistibly re- 
straining our ' thoughtless ' friends from 
exposing their lives to foreseen and probable 

dangers, or miraculously averting disease from 

171 



172 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

them, while strangers to us are left to fall, 
let us rather adore the unsearchable riches 
of his grace, that he yet bears with our manners, 
and affords us a place in his church and among 
his people. 

I would gladly have been at the convention 
in Staunton, and indeed several of my Episco- 
pal friends warmly urged me to attend, could 
I have conveniently been present, but indispen- 
sable engagements prevented me. Yet T doubt 
whether your meeting, l delightful ' as it was, 
would have had the effect upon me, which your 
ardent zeal seems to suppose. I seriously 
question whether I am fit for anything but a 
Methodist, and it would be difficult to make any 
thing else out of me. I am too much tinctured 
with enthusiasm^ too apt to become warm and 
exultant, and in these happy moments of joy 
unspeakable, and full of glory, when the love 
of God is shed abroad by the Holy Ghost given 
unto me, I could not confine myself to your 
Liturgy and forms of prayer, however deep and 
ardent their devotional spirit may be. Yet I 



THE METHODIST CHURCH. 173 

can truly say, that next to the Methodist, I prefer 
the Protestant Episcopal church to any other. 
We agree in everything but the forms of religion. 
Our doctrines are the same, our hopes and our 
comforts are one, and we even claim to be a 
branch of your church, broken off, but in its 
fall sticking into the earth, taking deep root, 
and now grown into a lofty, wide spreading tree, 
whose leaves are for the healing of the nations. 
I may have fallen into the common notion of 
the Methodist in supposing that we are yet but 
4 lightly esteemed,' and that every where this 
sect was at one time spoken against; but I ap- 
peal to your candor, is it not true? I judge 
very much from what were my own feelings 
when I was a man of the world. Our preachers 
are not generally men of great learning. — But 
I am not about to discuss the utility or expedi- 
ency of having well educated men in the minis- 
try. I love to see them there if they are 
deeply pious, but is it not true, that learning and 
popular address, apart from truth of doctrine, 
and holiness of heart and life, have often an 



174 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

important bearing in the church, and in the 
estimation of the world, and of too many pro- 
fessors in rendering that church respectable? 

In reference to your father, I wrote him a long 
letter in April, 1833, which yet remains un- 
answered. I forget how the account stands 
with your mother, but the Lord assisting, I will 
write to her. I love my relations, I can assure 
you, better than ever I did, and to every 
brother I have yet unconverted, I have written, 
beseeching him 'for Christ's sake to be recon- 
ciled to God.' 

This night completes the first year of my 
union with Mary Jane. Though less eventful 
than the last, it has been the happiest twelve- 
month of my life. But were I to fix upon a 
point of time as a commencement of a period 
of happiness, the greatest I ever enjoyed, and 
the most important era in my life, not even ex- 
cepting my conversion, it would be the 6th 
of May last. Since that day I have enjoyed 
almost uninterrupted communion with God. 
And I can say with the beloved John, * Truly 



THE savior's words. 175 

our fellowship is with the Father, and his Son 
Jesus Christ/ Have you ever considered the 
import of our Savior's words to the woman 
of Samaria, John 4 : 14, ' Whosoever drinketh 
of the water that I shall give him, shall never 
thirst; but the water that I shall give him, 
shall be in him a well of water springing 
up into everlasting life.' — Analogous to an ex- 
pression in the sermon on the Mount, ' Blessed 
are they which do hunger and thirst after 
righteousness, for they shall be filled/ And 
again, John 6 : 35, 'And Jesus said unto them, 
I am the bread of life : he that cometh to me, 
shall never hunger ; and he that believeth on 
me, shall never thirst.' Are these promises to 
be fulfilled in this life? Such unquestionably 
is their obvious import. c He that cometh to 
me by faith, shall from that hour, the moment 
he gives me his whole heart, never hunger, 
being filled with all the fullness of God.' < He 
shall rejoice evermore, pray without ceasing, 
and in every thing give thanks, for this is the 
will of God concerning him.' His thoughts 



17G CONVERSION OF A SKErTIC. 

shall be cleansed by the inspiration of the 
Holy Spirit, that he may perfectly love God, 
and worthily magnify his holy name; then, and 
not till then, is he fit for Heaven; 'for without 
holiness no man shall see the Lord.' Have you, 
my sister, this spiritual fountain within? 
Does your peace flow as a river, and your joy, 
does no man, no event, no trial take it from you? 
We are charged with being enthusiasts, for 
preaching and some of us professing to enjoy 
that perfect love which casteth out all fear. But 
I ask for any fair interpretation of the passages 
I have cited, upon any other hypothesis, than 
that such a state is attainable. Paul wrote by 
inspiration when he said to the Thessalonians, 
c The very God of peace sanctify you wholly, 
and I pray God your whole spirit, and soul, and 
body be preserved blameless unto the coming of 
our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is he that calleth 
you, who also will do it.' Would you believe 
me if I were to assure you that I am every day 
happy in the Lord? I enjoy a constant sense 
of His presence, and in His presence is 'fullness 



AN INCIDENT. 177 

of joy.' I have no fear of de at h, let it come 
at what hour or in what form it may, for 

" Jesus can make a dying bed 

Feel soft as downy pillows are, 
While on his breast I lean my head 

And breathe my life out sweetly there." 

Passing by my own experience with a solitary 
remark, that this measure of happiness, tho' 
continually increasing, began with me on the 
Gth of May last, under circumstances deeply, 
and I trust, permanently fixed upon my memory, 
let me relate to you two occurrences which fell 
under my own observation. In July last I 
called to see a young lady, a member of the 
Methodist church, who had been a professor 
of religion for two or three years. She had 
been seriously ill, but was then recovering. I 
prayed with her, and when I arose from my 
knees, I observed that she was much excited, and 
her countenance evinced deep and extraordinary 
emotions. I however thought no more about 
it, but very soon left the house. The next 
night I preached at the same house, from 
12 



178 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

2 Cor. 7: 1, upon the doctrine I have been dis- 
cussing, and a few minutes after dismissing 
the congregation, was called to go in another 
room and pray with this lady, who was in deep 
distress, mourning over the remaining corrup- 
tions of her heart, and groaning for full deliv- 
erance from all sin, having been convicted the 
preceding evening while we were engaged in 
praying to the Lord in her behalf, and in about 
fifteen minutes afterwards she professed to be 
6 cleansed from all sin.' There was no ecstasy, 
no shouting, but her calm and happy expression 
of countenance evinced that all was peace 
within. I saw her a few weeks afterwards, and 
she was going on her way rejoicing. The 
other case occurred about two weeks since. I 
preached upon the same subject, from the same 
text, and a young lady who was very pious and 
exemplary, and enjoyed in a great degree the 
life and power of religion, was brought to feel 
the enmity to God yet remaining in her heart, 
and to cry out in deep distress for full redemp- 
tion in that blood which 'cleanesth from all 



PERFECT LOVE EXPERIENCED. 179 

sin. ' This was on "Wednesday night, and the 
Sabbath following, while in a deep agony of 
feeling, she suddenly fell back deprived of 
strength, but in a few minutes revived, and with 
a loud voice glorified God, professing to have 
received the great blessing of perfect love, and 
to be prepared and ready to die. I have seen 
her almost daily since, and she is always 
rejoicing. Her countenance is remarkably 
changed, and is an evidence incontestable to the 
minds of many, that there is no deception here. 
What do you say to these things? 'If God be 
for us, who can be against us?' If this counsel 
or this work be of men, it will come to nought, 
but if it be of God we cannot overthrow it, lest 
haply ye be found even to fight against God. 
This doctrine is no modern invention. It is 
found embodied in that commandment, the 
essence of all true religion, 'Thou shalt love 
the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with 
all thy mind, and with all thy soul, and with 
all thy strength,' the counterpart of which is, 
'Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. 5 This 



180 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

point of christian perfection must be attained 
in this life, or Heaven is lost, for on these two 
commandments hang all the law and the 
prophets. 'Christ is the end of the law for 
righteousness to every one that believeth.' ' Be 
ye therefore perfect, (to forgive, love your ene- 
mies,) even as your Father in Heaven is per- 
fect.' Do not say that it is impossible to 
perform these commands, for an eminent and 
long tried servant of Christ, who was present 
when it was uttered, assures us that ' this is the 
love of God that we keep his commandments, 
and his commandments are not grievous/ On 
the contrary his 'yoke is easy, and his burden 
is light.' Do you not pray for this when you 
ask Grod to 'cleanse the thoughts of your heart, 
by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, that you 
may perfectly love Him, and so imbue you 
with the grace of his Holy Spirit, that you 
may amend your life according to his holy 
word. Your l Liturgy ' is excellent, and these 
prayers breathed forth from a true heart, in 
full assurance of faith, could not fail to bring 



OUR PRAYERS. 181 

down the blessings of Heaven in a large measure 
into the penitent and humble soul. Our Savior 
has promised ' "Whatsoever you shall ask in my 
name, that will I do, that the Father may be 
glorified in the Son. ' And John assures us 
that < Whatsoever we ask, we receive of him be- 
cause we keep his commandments, and do those 
things which are pleasing in his sight.' How 
encouraging are such promises, with such a 
record of their fulfillment? And we are not to 
limit oar petitions to small favors. l Hitherto 
ye have asked nothing in my name, ask and ye 
shall receive, that your joy may be full.' The 
foundation upon which this promise rests, will 
support us as well as the Apostles, because we 
keep His commandments. The end is as im- 
portant now as it ever was, ' That the Father 
may be glorified in the Son,' and the terms 
equally embrace us. For the promise of the 
Holy Ghost, said Peter to the murderers of 
Jesus, c Is unto you and to your children, and 
to all that are afar off, even as many as the 
Lord our God shall call.' What were the effects 



182 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

then? The sound, the appearance as of fire, 
and the gift of tongues were miraculous — 1 Cor. 
12: 29, 30, 'But love, greater than faith that 
can remove mountains, and peace that passeth 
all understanding, and joy unspeakable and 
full of glory, is the fruit of the Spirit in all 
ages/ — that wonderful work of God which 
formed the theme of the Apostle's discourse to 
the astonished multitude, on the day of Pente- 
cost. Yet how disorderly must have been their 
conduct; every man speaking as the Spirit gave 
him utterance, and doubtless many speaking at 
the same time, for had they waited for each 
other it would doubtless have been past nine 
o'clock in the morning before the one hundred 
and twenty could all have finished telling the 
wonderful works of God. Not knowing what 
a day may bring forth, I can not even anticipate 
when we may meet. I am stationed for a year 
on Guyandotte circuit, and having to meet about 
twenty different congregations every four 
weeks, I have little time that I can call my 
own. I am now 'off duty' for a short time, in 



death's doings. 183 

consequence of ill health, but expect by God's 
blessing to return to my post in about two 
weeks. We are pleasantly situated at Guyan- 
dotte, in the midst of a kind, warm-hearted, 
christian people. Remember us to your family 
in the comprehensive sense in which you use 
the term in your letter. And as my brother 
may not have heard the intelligence, you will 
please inform him that our number is now re- 
duced to eight. Our brother George died of a 
morbid typhus, succeeding an attack t>f cholera 
morbus, on the 5th of Sept., having buried his 
wife and second daughter, Eliza, aged thirteen, 
both cases of Asiatic cholera, a few days previ- 
ous. Hitherto our number had remained un- 
broken since the 25th of January, 1815. 
Who next shall fall, is known only to Him with 
whom are the issues of life and death. I pray 
God that we may keep our lamps trimmed and 
brightly burning. Tours affectionately, 

C. R. Baldwin. 



OBJECTIONS CALMLY CONSIDERED. 

CHAPTER XV. 

The following letter was addressed to his 
brother, Cyrus B. Baldwin, in answer to some 
"objections," which are calmly considered in 
this brief reply: 
Near Point Pleasant, Va., Jan. 18, 1834. 

TO MR. CYRUS B. BALDWIN. 

I left Charleston on the 29th of November, 
having been assigned to the Gralliopolis circuit, 
and preached my first sermon within the bounds 
of my charge on the Tuesday following. I 
did not, however, commence my regular circuit 
labors until the Sunday after ; since which 
time I have missed no stated appointment, 
but have endeavored to be "instant in season 
and out of season, reproving, rebuking, and 
exhorting, with all long-suffering and doctrine." 
During this interval, I have preached, or tried 
184 






SINCERITY OF MOTIVES. 185 

to preach, forty sermons ; with what success, 
be it much or little, that day, when my hearers 
and I shall meet at the bar of Almighty 
God to answer, I, for what I have spoken, 
they, for what they have heard, and their 
improvement of it, will attest. Aware that " it 
is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of 
the living God," I am striving not only to 
"work out my own salvation with fear and 
trembling," but to point others to the "Lamb 
of God that taketh away the sin of the world." 
Though conscious that I am an unprofitable 
servant, and that I come far short of my 
duty, I yet hope by the mercy of God, through 
Christ, to be found among that blood-washed 
throng — that great multitude which no man 
can number, to whom the King will say, " Come, 
ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom 
prepared for you from the foundation of the 
world." 

Approving my general course and not ques- 
tioning the sincerity of my motives, you would 
nevertheless have preferred my being an Epis- 



186 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

copal or Presbyterian preacher; — thinking it 
not necessary for a man to go out of his 
neighborhood to find objects of christian chari- 
ty — those who want reforming, those who want 
line upon line and precept upon precept, and 
you suppose that a shepherd can know but 
little of his flock or their wanderings, who 
never sees them except when they are brought 
up to the fold, but, that if he was with them 
daily, he might often find a refreshing stream 
or green pasture for them, which they would 
not discover themselves; I will try by divine 
assistance to answer your objections. 

A greater than Solomon has said, "A proph- 
et is not without honor, save in his [own 
country and in his own house.' , I think out 
of his neighborhood, is the place where every 
man called to preach ought to go. When Jesus 
"was come into his own country, he taught 
them in their synagogues, insomuch that they 
were astonished, and said: Whence hath this 
man, who spake as never man spake, this 
wisdom and these mighty works? Is not 



UNLETTERED CARPENTER'S SON. 187 

this the carpenter's son? Is not his mother 
called Mary? And his brethren, James and 
Joses, and Simon and Judas ? And his sisters, 
are they not all with us ? Whence, then, hath 
this man all these things? And they were 
offended in him. And he did not many mighty 
works there because of their unbelief.' 7 They 
had known him from childhood, had been 
brought up with him, they despised his humble 
birth and lowly occupation, and their proud 
and envious hearts would not submit to be 
taught by this unlettered carpenter's son. And 
"the servant is not above his Master, nor the 
disciple above his Lord." 

The same objection would soon apply to a 
stationed minister, even though he might have 
been, at first, a stranger to his flock. For 
a while he might be zealous and useful, but 
he would soon become " common" if not " un- 
clean." By degrees, his discourses would lose 
their novelty, and be only as a tiresome repeti- 
tion of the same theory. Having the same 
set of hearers, his zeal would gradually dimin- 



188 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

isli in proportion as their interest subsided. 
And then, perhaps, some little foibles and 
eccentricities of character not at first perceived 
or exhibited, would begin to discover them- 
selves and diminish his usefulness and impair 
his authority in the church. His own fervor 
having cooled down, that of his people would 
quickly subside, even to a lower temperature, 
if it was not brought down at first, and cold- 
ness and formality would soon be generally 
diffused among its members. Open sin would 
be less sternly rebuked, folly would pass un- 
censured, self-indulgence and sensuality would 
be called harmless, and humility and self-denial 
would be laughed out of countenance. De- 
pendent upon his parishioners for a support, 
he would aim more to please than to edify 
them in his discourses. His appeals would be 
directly or indirectly, oftener to their purses 
than to their consciences, and he would be 
content that his flock should seek the "cooling 
water-brooks" of ease, and the green pastures 
of pleasure so that he might recline upon 



GRACE TO PURIFY THE SOUL. 189 

the shady banks of the former, and partake 
of the varied delights of the latter. You might 
expect to find more learning than piety in 
his discourses — and more of doleful lamenta- 
tion over the natural corruption of the human 
heart, than of lively joy and the power of 
divine grace to purify the soul. 

Our system is based upon a different prin- 
ciple. We preach because "we are sent," and 
we look for our reward to our Master, who 
has commissioned us to preach the gospel 
to '-every creature," whether he will hear or 
whether he will forbear. We enter the vine- 
yard to labor, not to enjoy repose , and we go 
where there is a prospect of doing good, not 
of receiving large pay. Under the Methodist 
economy, it is now true, as it was in the days of 
Christ and his apostles, that " the poor have 
the gospel preached unto them." The " call," 
we believe, comes from the "Great Head of the 
church," not from the ministers; and this 
call depends not upon the amount of salary 
promised, but upon the moral and spiritual 



190 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

wants of the people. And in obeying, we 
expect to u forsake houses and lands," not to 
acquire them, and even to leave for longer 
or shorter periods, "wife and children for the 
sake of Christ." In populous places, where 
our members are numerous, we have stations, 
and the preacher is required " to visit from 
house to house." But after one year, or at 
most two years, we believe in the expediency 
of a change. He has preached to the people 
until he is no longer able to bring forth from 
his spiritual treasury things new as well as 
old. He has tried them with every argument 
and every method of persuasion with which he 
is acquainted. He has touched every string, 
appealed to every passion, and exhausted every 
topic of which he is master, and his "harvest 
is now past." To again cause the moral "earth 
to yield her increase," a new system of cultiva- 
tion must be adopted. In the very nature of 
things — the order of Providence, one man can 
not please every one and place always. In 



A DYING BRAND. 191 

sacred, as well as profane things, there are 
different tastes to be gratified; and if a Paul 
plants, an Apollos must water, before the m- 
crease will always come from the Lord. By 
frequent or occasional changes, all will, or 
ought to be satisfied. The new minister comes 
with fresh zeal. — Was his predecessor active, 
persevering and successful ? He aims to be no 
less so, but hopes under his own ministry to see 
"Zion lengthen her cords and strengthen her 
stakes." Was he successful the last year in 
" winning souls to Christ?" Looking forward 
to another day of reckoning, he strives to again 
render a good account of his stewardship. 
Has he left a circuit, warm and animated in 
religion, for one cold and lifeless? the zeal 
and fervor which he brings with him, soon 
communicates to the frozen hearts of his peo- 
ple, and thaws and melts them b^ the fire 
of love which is burning in his own bosom. 
Is he thrown a dying brand into the midst of 
a blazing pile? He quickly catches the spark 



192 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

and again begins to burn, and glow. He brings 
new arguments, and a new method of enforc- 
ing them, to alarm the impenitent, to arouse 
the careless, awaken the slumbering, cheer 
the faint-hearted, and build up and establish 
the believing. All the artillery of sermons 
and exhortations which he had laboriously pre- 
pared — the toils and acquisitions of former 
years, which had spent its force upon every- 
thing within its range, he can bring with him 
again into the field, cleansed and burnished, and 
with such new pieces of ordnance, as the 
strength and position of the enemy may require, 
and thus be prepared for new and more 
formidable execution, etc. 

But the traveling preacher can not see his 
flock, " except when they are brought up to 
the fold." In most of the circuits, it is true, 
we can not visit all our members in their 
houses, but we expect them, if they are able, 
to come up to be fed with the "bread of life" 
at each regular round. We then see them 



ORDERS IN THE MINISTRY. 193 

and talk personally to every member in our 
more private meetings, which are called u class 
meetings" If any are sick, we visit them when 
we can. We have also leaders of classes, who 
are required to see each of their members 
once eVery week if practicable. Our different 
orders of the ministry include bishops or gen- 
eral superintendents, presiding elders of the 
districts, circuit and local preachers, exhorters, 
and class-leaders ; and if these all discharge 
their several duties faithfully, it will be the 
fault of the members, if they do not every 
one "grow in grace and in the knowledge of 
our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ." It must, 
however, be remembered, that our object is 
to send the gospel every where, and to preach 
Christ to every body — "The harvest truly is 
plenteous, but the laborers are few." We warn, 
reprove, counsel, and exhort, but to render our 
labors effectual with the divine blessing, we 
expect every man to do his duty. 

We think our system is that established 
by Christ and followed by the apostles, as 
13 



194 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

nearly as can now be practiced; and its bless- 
ed effects are every where to be seen. Go 
where you will, and you meet with Methodist 
preachers and Methodist societies. Not so 
with the Episcopal and Presbyterian denomina- 
tions ; they are found in the cities, the large 
villages, and sometimes, in populous and wealthy 
neighborhoods, where respectable societies can 
be procured. But there are, I believe, numer- 
ous poor and thinly settled regions of country 
where their ministers have never yet im- 
pressed their foot-steps. We are required to 
go and search the lost sheep of Israel. Others 
follow on, and often gather up that which 
has been sown, the toil of our hands. With 
my present views, then, I could not conscien- 
tiously be an Episcopal or Presbyterian preacher, 
or anything but a Methodist. The peculiar 
doctrines of the Presbyterian church are direct- 
ly at variance with my own opinions, and 
I prefer the economy and discipline of the 
Methodist, to those of the Episcopal church. 
You are correct in you conclusions, though 



A WRONG PREMISE. 195 

wrong in your premises, that the course for 
me to pursue, is, unquestionably, the one which 
I am pursuing. 

Affectionately, 

Charles R. Baldwin. 



RECOUNTS HIS LIFE AND CONVERSION. 
CHAPTER XVI. 

TO MRS. ELIZABETH H. GARBER. 

Near Point Pleasant, Jan. 14, 1834. 

My Dear Niece: I am no friend to apologies, 
and yet, I feel that one is due from me, 
for not having answered your kind letter, writ- 
ten many months ago. The truth is, I did 
write, but haying somehow lost or mislaid 
your letter and not remembering your address, 
I knew not where to direct my answer. I 
am no wiser in this respect, now, than I 
was then, but by sending to Staunton, I- doubt 
not you will receive this through the kindness 
of some of your friends there. 

Since you have received any communication 

from me,, my personal history has been various 

and eventful, as you have probably heard. At 

the date of my last letter, if I mistake not, 

196 



EXTRAORDINARY CHANGES. 197 

I was a member of the Presbyterian church. 
Six months ago I was a practicing lawyer. 
Now, having forsaken my home, my business, 
my worldly prospects, and, for a time, even 
my little child, for the sake of Christ and 
the gospel, I am riding a laborious circuit 
and calling sinners to repentance. Singular, but 
not an unexampled change. Similar, and by far 
more extraordinary ones have occurred in all 
ages of the church. By faith, Moses, when 
he was come to years, refused to be called 
the son of Pharaoh's daughter ; choosing rather 
to suffer affliction with the people of God, 
than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; 
esteeming the reproach of Christ greater 
riches than the treasures of Egypt ; for he 
had respect unto the recompense of reward. 
"What things were gain to Paul, these he 
also counted loss for Christ, for whom he had 
Buffered the loss of all things, that he might 
be found in Christ, and might know him and 
the power of his resurrection and the fellow- 
ship of his suffering, if, by any means, he 



198 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

might attain unto the resurrection of the dead." 
Such was the ambition, the generous self-devo- 
tion of these men. They looked to no earth- 
ly reward, " but confessing that they were 
strangers and pilgrims here, they sought a city 
which was to come, whose builder and maker 
is God." And Jesus was not only the author, 
but the finisher of their faith — their deaths 
were triumphant in the Lord. If Moses was 
not permitted to enter the earthly Canaan, 
he yet found an inheritance in the heavenly, 
and was afterward, with Elijah, admitted to 
an interview with his Redeemer on the Holy 
Mount. And Paul, in the near prospect of 
death, could say, " Henceforth there is laid 
up for me a crown of righteousness, which 
the Lord, the righteous Judge, shall give me 
at that day; and not to me only, but to all 
them also, that love his appearing.' ' 

"Oli what are all my sufferings here, 
If Lord, thou count me meet ; 
With that enraptured host to appear, 
And worship at thy feet." 



CHRIST OUR PEACE. 199 

I feel, indeed, that I have made no sacrifice 
— have given up nothing, but rather that I 
have made a providential escape from the 
" pollutions of the world." Our Savior intend- 
ed no evil to the young man, when he required 
of him as a condition of receiving him among 
his followers, that he would sell his large 
possessions and give the avails to the poor; 
for He knew how utterly inadequate the things 
of this world are, to afford substantial happi- 
ness. Christ alone can give peace and comfort 
to the soul. In His presence on earth, as 
well as in heaven, "there is fullness of joy." 
Wherever He is, in the humble cottage as 
well as in the noble mansion, there is a peace 
"which passeth all understanding, a joy 
this world can neither give nor take away." 
And it is only when we give up every other 
dependence and take Christ as our portion 
and our all — when emptied of ourselves, that we 
are "filled with all the fullness of God." When 
" His love is shed abroad in our hearts," by the 
Holy Ghost given unto us, then we can "taste 



200 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

of the powers of the world to come," and 
" rejoice with a joy that is unspeakable and 
full of glory." In such moments, lost, as it 
were, in the boundless ocean of God's love, 
how poor and groveling to our enraptured 
souls, are all the pleasures and pursuits of this 
miserable world! How strangely infatuated 
the short lived race of sinful men, who have 
no higher aim than to be rich and great, to 
be envied and admired by mortals as weak 
and foolish as themselves, and who know no 
higher pleasures than those of the idolatrous 
children of Israel, who "sat down to eat and 
drink, and rose up to play." 

You aTe doubtless surprised at my being 
a Methodist. In many places we are despised, 
ridiculed, and "our names cast out as evil;" 
like the christians in the days of Paul, "as 
concerning this sect, we know that every where 
it is spoken against." I know not what may 
be your opinions, but for myself, I was former- 
ly most strongly prejudiced against them. I 
looked upon them as visionary enthusiasts, and 



REVERSING THE RULE OF FESTUS. 201 

reversing the rule of Festus — I supposed that 
much ignorance had made them mad. It 
was rarely that I attended their preaching, and 
then, with little profit, for the " natural man 
receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God ; 
they are foolishness unto him." I was once 
a skeptic, if you please, an unbeliever of 
the truth of divine revelation. Something 
more than a year since, my opinions were 
changed, and I became convinced that there 
was such a thing as experimental religion, but 
I had no conception what it was, or by what 
means the change of heart denominated " being 
born again," was effected. My own heart was 
naturally proud, hard, and unyielding. Domes- 
tic sorrows and afflictions — the agents of God's 
mercy, had softened and melted it down, and 
had, in some degree, humbled my pride and 
made me to feel that I was mortal. Still, I 
was ignorant of myself, and knew not that 
I was "poor and miserable, and blind and 
naked," until one night, while lying upon my 
bed, the vail was suddenly drawn aside, and I 



202 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

was let into a full discovery of my own inward 
depravity and corruption. And what a cliarnel 
house ! Self-esteem had given me an outward 
adorning, but within, there was nothing but 
uncleanness. The actions of my past life, 
which hitherto had appeared meritorious, had 
all sprung, I found, from pride, and selfishness, 
and vanity. Astonished at the picture which 
the mirror of the gospel reflected, and over- 
whelmed at the discovery which the light of 
divine truth revealed, I knew not at first 
what to do; but I, thank God, at length 
found my way to my closet, and in secret 
cried to the Lord for mercy. And I soon 
experienced a measure of relief, and began 
to think I had religion. There was, at least, 
a moral change in my feelings; I set a different 
estimate on the things of this world. The 
fear of God which is the " beginning of all 
wisdom," was continually before my eyes ; and 
if I had not His love in my heart, I thought 
I " loved my brethren." Like the house of 
Jacob, I sought the Lord daily, and took delight 



DEGREES OP COMFORT. 203 

in approaching to God, and at times he seemed 
" not very far off." But after all, there was 
an emptiness, an " aching void within," which 
nothing I had as yet tried could fill. I was 
not satisfied, though Satan tempted me to 
believe all was safe. I was told there are 
various degrees of comfort, from a bare tran- 
quillity of mind, a peaceful calm, to that bound- 
ing, rapturous joy, which is "unspeakable and 
full of glory," according to the different tem- 
peraments of individuals; and as I sometimes 
felt the former, my spiritual advisers seemed 
to think I had actually passed from " death 
unto life." I was without doubt in the hands 
of unskillful doctors, and must have fallen 
a victim to their ignorance, had not the Great 
Physician of souls, Himself, graciously under- 
taken my case. And, as if to humble my pride, 
he selected as an instrument of my cure the 
founder of that very sect which I so much 
despised. Turning over a volume of Wesley's 
sermons, I providentially came to one upon 
the "Witness of the Spirit," from Rom. 8: 19, 



204 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

"The Spirit itself beareth witness with our 
spirit, that we are the children of God." The 
title struck my mind, no less by its novelty, 
than by its similitude to" judicial proceedings;" 
and I felt desirous to know something of the 
testimony of this, hitherto, unheard of "wit- 
ness." But I had hardly read the first two or 
three paragraphs, before I denounced the doc- 
trine as absurd, and the author as deluded and 
enthusiastic. However, I determined to give 
him a fair hearing, although every sentence 
was tearing away the sandy foundation of my 
hopes — and before I had finished, I became 
convinced that if Scriptural conversion was 
now what it was in the days of the apostles, 
and that it was a "cloud of living witnesses" 
had experienced and were able to testify, I 
was yet "far from the kingdom of heaven." 
And I thank God for this second discovery 
of myself, not less important to my salvation 
than my original conviction. I was deceiving 
myself with a name to live, while I was dead. 
I now set about seeking religion in good 



THE ACHING VOID FILLED. 205 

earnest; yea, "striving to enter in at trie 
strait gate," for we are told, "the kingdom 
of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent 
taketh it by force." And on the 14th day 
of February, I was able to testify by happy 
experience, that "the Son of man hath power 
on earth to forgive sins." And though I could 
not tell how my eyes were opened, yet with 
the blind man whom Jesus restored to sight 
through the instrumentality of clay, I could 
say, " One thing I know, whereas I was blind 
I now see." Then I enjoyed "peace with God, 
and rejoiced with joy unspeakable and full of 
glory." Then "the aching void" was rilled 
with "good measure, pressed down, shaken 
together, and running over;" and had I been 
in a Methodist meeting, there would have been, 
most probably, that night, a " shout in the 
camp of Israel," as there has been many a 
one since, when I have been "filled, not 
with wine, wherein is excess, but with 
the Spirit." 

I fear there are many professors of religion 



206 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

who have no experimental knowledge of Christ; 
Israelites yet journeying in the wilderness 
of sin, who will never enter the spiritual 
Canaan, unless the Lord shall send them, as 
he did Israel of old, some Joshua to lead them 
safe over Jordan. Having a promise to enter 
into His rest, they will nevertheless, through 
unbelief, come short of it. The doctrine of 
the "Witness of the Spirit," can not, in my 
opinion, be pressed with too much earnestness. 
It is not the mere privilege of the believer, 
it is his birthright, his title to heaven. "And 
because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the 
Spirit of his' Son into your hearts, crying, 
Abba Father." "And this is life eternal that 
they might 'know thee, the only true Grod, 
and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent." 
"When the comforter is come, he shall testify 
of me, he shall glorify me, for he shall receive 
of mine and shall show it unto you." "For 
the promise of the Holy Spirit," says Peter, 
"Is unto you and your children and unto all 
that are afar off, even as many as the Lord 



TIME FOR DELAY. 207 

our God shall call." I would advise every one 
not to rest satisfied, until having become 
dead unto sin, he shall be made alive unto 
righteousness, through Jesus Christ our Lord, 
and is enabled to say with the Apostle Paul, 
"I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I 
live ; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me ; and 
the life which I now live in the flesh, I live 
by the faith of the Son of God, who loved 
me and gave himself for me." Can you thus 
speak ? 

Probably you have heard before, that I 
I am again married, and that Mary Jane Lewis, 
your former school-mate, is now your aunt. 
So far as the opinions and usages of society 
regulate the time proper for delay in such 
cases, I may be a transgressor, but my peculiar 
circumstances must be my apology, if I need 
any. Had I remained in Charleston, I should 
probably have deferred my marriage longer; 
but on my present circuit, I was without a 
home for myself or my little child, until I found 
it here, in the kind family of my wife. Having 



208 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

begun, continued, and ended this solemn and 
important transaction in the fear of the Lord, 
and, as I believe, with His approbation thus 
far, I feel in this particular, "a conscience 
void of offensie towards God, and towards 
man." 

I have preached forty sermons since I 
came to my charge — a regular attendance 
upon my appointments will require of me not 
less than twenty-five sermons monthly, and 
by the blessing of God, I shall expect to 
average at least thirty. Thus engaged, the 
hours fly away in rapid but sweet succession — 
and every day brings with it the soul-cheering 
testimony that I please God, and that I am 
walking with Him. Not so, when engaged in 
the sinful pursuits and trying the wicked 
pleasures of the world. " There is no peace, 
saith my God, to the wicked." 

My health is good, and so is that of my wife. 
And my little Mary was in ordinary health 
when I last heard from her. I feel desirous 
to see her, and hope the Lord will enable me 



THE FAVOR OF GOD. 209 

to do so shortly. I am in a most amiable 
and affectionate family, in every respect treated 
with the utmost kindness — adopted and re- 
ceived as one of themselves. The Lord has 
given me favor in their eyes and access to their 
hearts. The little I gave to Christ, when I 
abandoned my profession, He has more than 
made up to me. "Write and direct to Point 
Pleasant. Remember me to Mr. Garber. 
Affectionately, yours, 

Charles R. Baldwin. 
14 



THE HOME CIECLE. 
CHAPTER XVII. 

In the domestic and social relations of life, 
Mr. Baldwin was a "pattern to them which 
should hereafter believe on Christ to life ever- 
lasting." — 1 Timothy, 1:16. His "manner of 
life" as well as his "doctrine, " was most fully 
known. Patience, gentleness, long suffering 
and goodness, were graces that richly adorned 
his private life. He was an "example to the 
flock " that might be safely copied. Like the 
lamented Judson, of precious memory, he was 
married three times, and for each of his wives 
he cherished the tenderest affection. His first 
wife, Miss Elizabeth Truslow, died a premature 
death, leaving an infant child named Mary 
Elizabeth, in charge of its grandmother, Mrs. 
Truslow. His second wife, Miss Mary Jane 
Lewis, of Mason county, Virginia, also faded 
210 



HIS FORMER COMPANIONS. 211 

early, and died lamented. Her remains were 
interred in the " Lewis Family burying-ground," 
four miles above Point Pleasant, on the Ohio 
river. Mr. Baldwin was married to his third 
wife, Miss Ann Elizabeth Tavenor, at Parkers- 
burg, March 7th, 1837. Mr. Baldwin loved 
each of his wives with a sincere, tender and 
pure love. The u present affection never seemed 
to lessen his esteem and love for those whom he 
sincerely mourned." His last wife is a niece 
of the lamented Rev. William Beauchamp, 
of precious memory. She is a most estimable 
woman, and dearly beloved by her friends. She 
says that her husband cherished the memory 
of his former companions with great tender- 
ness — and that she often heard him speak 
of their many virtues, and from all that she 
could learn, "they were worthy of the deep and 
constant affection which he gave them." For 
a long time Mr. Baldwin made his last marriage 
a subject of special prayer to God for His bless- 
ing and guidance. He never took one step in 
this matter until, as he remarks, "He was 



212 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

FULLY SATISFIED IT WAS THE WILL OF GOD." 

It seems from the following extract, that he had 
no desire to u survive " his last wife. God grant- 
ed him the desire of his heart. " In my pro- 
fessional days it was customary to reduce impor- 
tant contracts to writing — although my dear 
Ann Elizabeth, I have no doubt of y our fidelity, 
yet I wish to see something from your own 
fair hand, to re -assure me that you are mine, 
I spent last evening in my room, very happy in 
the love of God. I had the witness in my 
heart, that all I had done was right. My trust 
is in God that ' all things shall work together 
for our good/ — I do love you sincerely — ar- 
dently, and my prayer with perfect submission 
to the will of God is — 'That I may not sur- 
vive you.' " In view of his past bereavements, 
he felt that his "cup of bitterness" was already 
full, and he had no desire to outlive another 
companion. A few days after writing the pre- 
ceding note, he says in another letter to his 
betrothed, — "I have just been reading with 
great and unspeakable comfort to my heart, the 



STORE-HOUSE OF GRACE. 213 

37th Psalm — especially from the 3d to the 7th 
verses, — * Trust in the Lord and do good, so 
shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou 
shalt be fed.' c Delight thyself also in the 
Lord and he shall give thee the desires of thine 
heart.' 'Commit thy way unto the Lord and 
trust in Him, and he shall bring it to pass: And 
He shall bring forth thy righteousness to the light 
and thy judgment as the noon day.' ' Rest 
in the Lord and wait patiently for Him.' ' Fret 
not thyself because of him that prospereth in 
his way, because of him that bringeth wicked 
devices to pass.' " Mr. Baldwin knew very well 
if he married Miss Tavenor, he must take her 
as a "portionless bride." It was in reference 
to this that he doubtless remarks as follows: 
"All I ask is yourself, with your marriage 
portion from the store-house of grace and 
treasury of heaven. I desire neither lands, 
nor flocks, neither money, nor goods. God, 
even our God will be 'our portion.' He has 
made my 'cup already to overflow'.' He has 
given me enough — more than merely to make 



214 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

provision for my own wants. With less of this 
world's goods and His blessing and protection, I 
am happy, — aye with nothing at all — yet with 
Him for my helper, I AM rich. But I do most 
sincerely thank God for all that I have — for 
everything which He has given or may yet 
bestow upon me. I humbly ask for grace to 
act in all things as His ' Steward.' I am in 
a happy frame of mind this morning." 

I will take the liberty of making one more 
extract from this instructive correspondence : — 
"I suppose I am addressing my last letter to 
Miss Tavenor — you are about to give up the 
name of your birth, of your parents, your 
family— the name by which you have hitherto 
been known, and which stands associated with 
all the scenes, and joys, and sorrows of your 
youth, and to be called and known by a name, 
that not very long ago was a strange name to 
you — one which you are soon to make your 
own. and which is hereafter to be most 
intimately connected with all that is interesting 
and dear to you. You are now about to leave 



JESUS OUR PILOT. 215 

the home and the scenes of your childhood, and 
to seek a new home amid untried scenes and 
associations. You are about to leave the care, 
protection, and authority of your parents, and 
place yourself under that of a husband. You 
are also about to take upon you vows which 
are cotemporaneous with life, and obligations 
from which death only can release you. From 
henceforth, all will be new to you. In launch- 
ing upon the married state, you go as an 
adventurer upon a new barque, and on un- 
accustomed waves — solemn thought. I should 
shrink back myself, but that I believe the 
Lord commands me, and that Jesus will be 

my guide and pilot. My dear E , pray 

continually to the great Fountain of life, and 
love, and joy, that His grace may be sufficient 
for you. 

"Your station will be a highly responsible 
one, but I have great confidence in you, and 
in the goodness and mercy of the Lord, which 
has always followed us, led us, and brought 
us together, and I humbly trust, will continue 



216 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

to support and sustain us even to the end 
of life. I love you tenderly and have been 
recently made unspeakably happy three times, 
while praying for you. I think I shall have 
great liberty in preaching to-morrow. Pray 
much for me, as to-morrow is the trying day 
with me. I have great confidence in your 
prayers. I trust all will be well. Good morn- 
ing, my love ; may the God of all peace and 
consolation ever be with you. Give my love 
to your mother, soon to be mine. 
" Yours, ever, 

" Charles K Baldwin." 
After his marriage to Miss Ann Elizabeth 
Tavenor, he commenced keeping house for 
the third time. He found in Miss Tavenor a 
true help-meet — a "prudent wife from the 
Lord." God blessed their union with two 
promising boys, Charles and Thomas ; Thomas 
died in his fourth and Charles in his fifth 
year, with only two weeks difference between 
the time of their decease. Little Thomas was 
baptized on the day his father died, and after- 



CHILDREN OF MR. BALDWIN. 217 

wards often talked to his mother of meeting 
his beloved father in heaven. The death of 
these beloved children was a heavy stroke upon 
the bleeding heart of Mrs. Baldwin. Her cup 
was not yet full. Since that time, she has 
lost a favorite brother, her maternal and pater- 
nal parent also. But she remarks in a note 
to me recently: "None of these bereavements 
fell with half the crushing force upon my 
bleeding heart, as did the death of my dear 
husband. Ah ! when I saw the grave cover 
him from my eyes, it seemed as 'if one-half 
of my heart had been torn away,' and the 
other half ached at the separation." 

Mr. Baldwin has but one child now living, 
his daughter, Mary Elizabeth, by his first wife. 
She has been a child of many prayers. Under 
date of January 21st, 1839, Mr. Baldwin while 
stationed in Parkersburg, makes the following 
entry in his journal : "I am greatly concerned 
and drawn out in prayer for the conversion 
of my daughter, Mary Elizabeth. She is now 
eight years — and old enough to love and serve 



218 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

God." He did not pray in vain. Five years 
after his death she was converted to God, and 
joined the Methodist Episcopal church. Sub- 
sequently she went to live with her uncle, 
John Truslow, Esq., of Charleston, in the town 
where she was born. On the 20th of Novem- 
ber, 1856, she was united in marriage to Mr. 
Thomas Patton, M. D., of Lewisburg, Green- 
brier county, Virginia, where she has since 
gone to reside. 

The following extract from a letter just 
received from Mrs. Patton, at Lewisburgh, 
breathes the pure catholic spirit of the gospel : 

''REV. Maxwell P. Gaddis: 

"Dear Brother: Of my sainted father of 
whom you speak in such high terms to my 
great delight — for never did a child more truly 
reverence the memory of a departed parent — 
I can recollect but little, he having died when 
I was but nine years of age. I know my 
father was a devotedly pious man, and early 
sought to instil into my mind right principles, 



LETTER FROM HIS DAUGHTER. 219 

His teachings, I trust, have not been altogether 
lost, although I am by no means what I 
should be. 

"My recollections of him are so indistinct, 
that it would be vain for me to attempt to 
communicate anything that would be of in- 
terest, either to you, or the readers of your 
book. I will simply say, that I am thankful 
for having such a father. I would rather bear 
Ms name than the name of any one of earth's 
highly honored sons — I would rather have as 
a legacy ' the fervent heartfelt prayers ' of which 
you speak in your letter, than the undisputed 
claim of a millionaire. 

"My husband and I are members of the 
Presbyterian church, but I trust the knowledge 
of this fact will not diminish your interest in 
me, as the daughter of an old and esteemed 
friend, and as one who ' names the name of 
Christ.' For are we not one in all the essentials 
of religion, and, if faithful, will we not spend 
an eternity together, where all denominational 
differences will be forgotten ? I shall ever feel 



220 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

grateful to you for preparing this biography 
of my much lamented father, and hope it 
will be the means of much good to the souls 
of men. I shall look for its publication with 
anxious solicitude. 

" Wishing you great success in your labors, 
I am yours, most respectfully and gratefully. 
"Mary E. Patton." 

Lewisburgh, Va., March 15, 1858. 

I have learned, through persons most com- 
petent to judge, that the piety and devotion 
of the daughter is like the departed father, 
unquestionable, although her modesty and nat- 
urally desponding disposition, leads her to 
speak of doubts and fears, and the want of 
" assurance " which he professed to enjoy 
in such a remarkable degree* From those who 
are fully competent to judge, I learn that she 
is amiable and uniform in her temper and 
disposition, with a cultivated mind, to which 
is superadded the graces of the true christian 
— "woman's best adorning." It is no wonder 
that she is greatly beloved by all with whom 



MARKS OP RELATIONSHIP. 221 

she associates. If attention to private devo- 
tion, untiring study of the word of God, and 
meditation, with delight in religious duties, 
are marks of relationship to Christ, then might 
she claim a seat among His " chosen ones" — 
the heirs of salvation. My prayer to God 
shall be that in future, 

"A purer light may mark the road 
That leads her on to heaven." 

I can but feel a deep solicitude for the 
children of those ministers of the gospel who 
have forsaken all for Christ. May our Heaven- 
ly Father smile upon them, and may they at 
last meet their dear parents in glory. 

The following devotional lines were written 
by Mr. Baldwin, for a lady whose name was 
Lydia. They are founded on these words : 

"And on the Sabbath we went out of the 
city by a river side, where prayer was wont 
to be made ; and we sat down, and spake unto 
the women which resorted thither" "And a 
certain woman named Lydia^ a seller of purple, 
of the city of Thyatira, which worshiped God, 



222 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

heard us; whose heart the Lord opened, that 
she attended unto the things which were spoken 
of Paul."— Acts, 16 : 13, 14. 

At Philippi on Agea's rocky shore, 

There dwelt a little pious female band ; 

And by the flowing tide, meekly to pour 
Faith's prayer, they met, and knelt upon the strand. 

And Sinai's God — in awful majesty 

Whom Israel saw — they worship 'd. and adored — 
Of Zion's King, and bleeding Calvary, 

And death's great conqueror, they ne 'er had heard. 

The Sabbath came — with pious awe they went, 
To sing and pray, to worship and adore ; 

And Paul was there, and Lydia sat intent, 
To hear of wonders all unknown before. 

The theme was Jesus; love divine that moved 
The Son to die for sins his soul abhorred ; 

But vainly Paul had preached, and Jesus loved, 
Had not her heart been opened by the Lord. 

She heard, and she believed ; and light from heav 'n 
Shone on her heart and burst the midnight gloom ; 

She saw the cross, and felt her sins forgiven — 
A crown of glory gleamed above the tomb. 

Like her whose name you bear, may you attend 
And hear with open heart — believe, obey ; 

Life's pilgrimage shall then in glory end, 

And Death's dark night be lost in endless day. 



HIS COMMUNION WITH GOD. 

CHAPTER XVIII. 

Mr. Baldwin was deeply experienced in 
the things of Jesus Christ; one in whom the 
love of God was " perfected." God is love, 
and he that dwelleth in love, dwelleth "in God 
and God in hiin." He was a sanctified christian, 
and consequently his peace " flowed as a river." 
I do not know how to describe his own state 
of mind better than by an extract from his 
own pen, setting forth the fullness of joy which 
flows from Christ. — It is "a happy union, a 
loving, harmonious intercourse, a calm, happy, 
and perfectly balanced state of the soul — the 
affections all alive and in motion, the thoughts 
lively, active, quick, but pleasant — unruffled. 
The peace of the believer is like a l flowing 
stream/ characterized by depth, length and 
breadth. It is a living, moving current in 
223 



224 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

the soul. It moves in a deep broad channel 
through the whole vista of life and mingles 
its waters with the ocean of eternity. It has 
depths; it is bottomless. Tempests may agitate 
it ; and the bark that rides upon it may leave 
a temporary furrow, but it disturbs not its 
lower current. All is calm and tranquil, deep 
in the soul. The agitation is soon over, and 
the soul calmly stays upon God. It has breadth 
or expansion, and has banhs though it often 
overflows them. Upon its deep broad streams, 
our all may float secure. — Like the rivers 
of earth, it moves onward — our peace becomes 
more deep, more expanded by the united 
supplies it is constantly receiving from the 
smaller streams and fountains. It swells into 
a larger and more majestic stream, till it loses 
itself in the boundless ocean of love. 

"At first the fountain opens and begins to 
play, and sends forth its sweet and pure waters 
of life, furrowing its winding channels over 
pebbles and among rocks, and beneath shady 
bowers; but sparkling and murmuring on. 



A MOUNTAIN TORRENT. 225 

Fed by other streams, it increases to be a 
mountain torrent ; but widening and deepening 
— it moves on through the peaceful vale, till 
enlarging and swelling to a mighty flood, it 
pours its limpid waters into the ocean. Such 
is the experience of the faithful. More and 
more abundant are God's mercies to them, and 
deeper and deeper His love, and more and 
more restless the tide of salvation till the soul 
finds itself upon the boundless and bottomless 
ocean of love — 'an abyss of mercy.' To the 
mariner on the ocean, the liquid element on 
which he rides seems bounded by nothing but 
the skies. So is the full experience of the 
believer in Christ. All is love and heaven. 
Who can fathom or comprehend the boundless 
and amazing love in which the soul dwells? 
Mercy after mercy rises ' like the waves of the 
sea' in endless succession. All is love beneath 
and around and all is heaven and glory above. 
Evermore there is joy, every pulsation of the 
heart is prayer, like the 'wave,' a lifting up 



15 



226 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

of itself to God; and every successive event 
brings thanks to His name." 

Mr. Baldwin in the early period of his 
religious course passed into this sea of love, 
and continued to enjoy constant communion 
with God. Prayer and praise was the element 
in which he " moved and had his being." He 
might well exclaim, " Herein is our love made 
perfect that we may have boldness in the day 
of judgment; because as he is, so are we 
in this world." I will make one or two ex- 
tracts from his journal, touching his personal 
religious experience, to show the reader the 
depth of his communion with God : — 

October 21st, 1838. — "I am now on the last 
page of my journal embracing a period of 
nearly Jive years. God has been good to me. 
I experience daily and hourly manifestations 
of his love. * * * * On these pages I 
have recorded my union with an amiable, 
affectionate, intelligent, deeply pious, and 
dearly loved — wife. A short time spent in 
her charming and instructive society, and then 



A BLESSED REUNION. 227 

a dissolution of our earthly connection by 
death, but under circumstances that promised a 
more blessed reunion where saints never die, 
and friends are never separated. * * * * 
I have also recorded my union with another, 
who, in every endearing relation and attitude, 
fills the place of the one I had lost, and who, 
by the blessing of God, has made me the 
happy father of a sweet and promising boy. 
* * * ^ These pages have often found me 
in scenes of deep domestic affliction, and 
passing through the deep waters of tribulation., 
but they have never found me without the 
consolations of religion, and the guidance of 
this Holy Spirit. I am now surrounded by a 
family in comfortable health, with the blessings 
of the Almighty God upon us, and the prom- 
ise for coming life, that all things shall work 
together for our good. I have also recorded 
innumerable spiritual blessings, the work of 
sanctifying grace in progressive and perfected 
holiness in the fear of God. And in laying 
aside these pages, I desire most earnestly to 



228 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

' leave the things which are lehind. 1 I feel like 
plunging into greater depths of love, and rising 
to far loftier hights of holiness. My soul is 
panting more and more after God. I have 
1 awaked satisfied in His likeness,' yet I am 
not filled with 'all his fullness.' 

" When shall I see the welcome hour 
That plants my God in me ; 
Spirit of health, and life, and power, 
And perfect liberty. 

" My earth thou waterest from on high, 
But make it all a pool ; 
Spring up, 0, Well, I ever cry, 
Spring up within my soul ! 

" Come, my God, thyself reveal, 
Fill all this mighty void, 
Thou only canst my spirit fill, 
Come, O my God, my God." 

October 22d, 1838. — "I was greatly drawn 
out and blest in secret prayer immediately after 
breakfast. In many things I felt that I was 
heard and answered. 

October 23d, 1838. — "I have been greatly 
blest of late in my private devotions, especially 



NOT ALL LIKE CHRIST. 229 

yesterday and to-day. God hears me, comes 
into my heart, kindles up my affections, restores 
unto me the joys of His salvation, upholds 
me by His free Spirit. I feel happy in His 
love every time I pray; and I know that I 
do those things that are well pleasing in his 
sight. * * * * I am not under any con- 
demnation, and I have daily answers to my 
prayers, but after -all I do not feel that I am 
fit for heaven. I have not yet that inward 
and outward holiness which I desire. I am 
not all like Christ. Yet I am not conscious 
of having lost ground in religion, and yet 
the world may have, in some considerable 
degree, been making inroads into my heart. 
I sometimes fear that I am not as meek, and 
patient, and dead to the desires of the flesh, 
and yet I do not know but what I am as 
much so as ever. * * * * From family 
affliction of late, I have not risen as early 
as I once did. I am now returning to my 
former habits of study. I feel resolved to 
do the work of an evangelist and make full 



230 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

proof of my ministry. God is now graciously 
reviving his work of purity in my heart. 

January 1st, 1839. — "I have now by the 
mercy of God entered upon a new year. The 
first feeling of my heart on waking, of which 
I was conscious, was the love of God — the 
joy of His salvation. I prayed and was happy. 
Heaven was in my soul, and my communion 
was with the Father, and his Son, Jesus Christ. 
My body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. Christ 
dwells in my heart by faith, and I am rooted 
and grounded in love. But its breadth and 
length, its hight and depth, who can compre- 
hend ? It passeth knowledge. O that T might 
approach it and be filled with all the fullness 
of God. Glory to God, I am filled with Him. 
0, yes, with His fullness. Yes, with all 
His fullness. My love is full, my joy is 
full, my peace is full, and my hope is full. 

' glorious hope of immortality .' 

I am ripening for heaven and glory above— 
for the immediate presence of God. My treas- 



HOME AND HEART. 231 

ures, my home, my heart are all there. On 
earth I am only a pilgrim, i having no con- 
tinuing city here, but seeking one that is to 
come.' 0, for a constant sense of the Divine 
fullness, to be lost and swallowed up in Christ. 
Glory be to God. Amen" 

But few, perhaps, in so short time, have 
arrived at such maturity in christian graces, 
or have enjoyed such " fullness of joy" as 
Mr. Baldwin. 

January 21st, 1839. — "I am greatly con- 
cerned and drawn out in prayer for the conver- 
sion of my child, Mary Elizabeth. She is now 
in her eighth year, and old enough to love 
and serve God." * * * * * 

This little extract reveals a beautiful trait 
in the character of Mr. Baldwin — his almost 
ceaseless prayers for the salvation of his own 
household. He had a burning desire both 
day and night, in health and sickness, to see 
sinners converted to God. 

August 14th, 1839.— " I received a letter 
from Lancaster circuit, descriptive of the state 



232 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

of religion in that region — it also contains an 
invitation to a camp-meeting. Alas ! I am 
in poor plight to go. I should love to meet 
my brethren and sisters once more. ' * * * 
While on that circuit I had many delightful 
meetings. I was often blessed to such a degree, 
that the Spirit could sustain no greater 

WEIGHT OF GLORY WHILE IN THE BODY." 

what a delightful spiritual frame of mind 
had our departed brother while preaching 
Jesus. But the same " fountain" is accessible 
to us all. Let us "go and wash and be clean" 
— drink and thirst no more. "Whom having 
not seen, ye love ; in whom though now ye 
see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with 
joy unspeakable and full of glory." 

" Hark ! the thrilling symphonies 
Seem, methinks, to seize us, 

Join we too the holy lays, 
Jesus ! Jesus ! ! Jesus ! ! ! 

Sweetest note on mortal tongue, 

Sweeteet choral ever sung, 

Jesus, Jesus, flow along." 



PREPARATION FOR THE PULPIT, 
CHAPTER XIX. 

Mr. Baldwin's manner of preparation for the 
pulpit is a " pattern" worthy of imitation by 
all true ministers of Jesus Christ. On reading 
portions of his journal and private papers, I 
was forcibly struck with his prayerfulness. 
It is said that the celebrated German Reformer, 
Martin Luther, " excelled other christians in 
the tone and spirit of his prayers." Mr. Bald- 
win was also a man not only of strong faith, 
but he excelled most of his brethren in earnest, 
daily u closet pleading." His family has often 
heard him remark, " Well, I think many persons 
who pray less than myself, may enjoy more re- 
ligion than I do, but I find that I can not get 
along in religion without praying a great deal." 

During his last illness, when confined to his 
chamber, he never omitted his regular hours 
233 



234 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

for private devotion. Generally at such periods 
his soul was filled unutterably full of glory and 
of God. When at last he became so much en- 
feebled by disease that he was no longer able to 
leave his bed, or get out of his arm chair, he 
would call in the aid of his wife and get her to 
read to him a chapter out of the Holy Bible. 
And then at his request she would assist him 
to get on his knees, and then leave him alone 
with God to enjoy a season of secret prayer 
and holy communion, with the Father, Son, 
and Holy Ghost. At such an hour his affec- 
tionate wife would stand in the hall near the 
door, and wait the signal for her return — when 
often times the first sound that would strike 
upon her ear would be " glory! glory!" from- 
the lips of the joyful sufferer. With what de 
light the angels of God must have witnessed 
this touching and morally sublime scene be- 
tween the faithful pastor and no less faithful 
wife. 0, how it rebukes our sloth and negli- 
gence in closet duties. Mr. Baldwin was not 
only in the habit of praying much at home, 



HABITS OF PRATER. 235 

but even while traveling, or when engaged in 
business. He suffered nothing to hinder him 
from praying a few minutes, generally ten or 
twelve times during every twenty-four hours. 
Everything which he considered of any impor- 
tance, he made a subject of special prayer; and 
this habit was kept up until death. He prayed 
much during his hours allotted for study and 
preparation for the pulpit. The Bible was his 
daily companion, in the family, and the study. 
He read it systematically and prayerfully. When 
preparing a sermon, he read the Holy Bible on 
his knees, and prayed fervently for light to shine 
on the sacred page. Aye, he "agonized" with 
God in mighty prayer, for wisdom to enable 
him rightly to " divide the word of life," — to 
give to . each a portion of meat in due season. 
Here is the key which unlocks the hidden life 
of this devoted servant of God. Here we learn 
the source of his strength, and the clearness 
and force with which he was enabled to pro- 
claim the unsearchable riches of Jesus Christ. 
He was " endowed with power from on high," in 



236 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 



answer to importunate prayer. The lamented 
Dr, Payson said to a friend, who inquired of 
him touching his progress in his studies, "since 
I began to beg God's blessing on my studies, I 
have done more in one week than I had done 
in a whole year before." Mr. Baldwin, like the 
sainted Baxter, of whom it is said that he 
"stained the walls of his study with praying 
breath," continued in prayer until the "fire 
would descend and consume the sacrifice." He 
was then prepared to write or to preach. He 
studied all his sermons upon his knees, before 
he appeared before the public congregation. 
But I will lift the vail and let the reader wit- 
ness only one scene among many in his study. 
Jan. 4, 1839. "In my room this afternoon, 
while calling on God for light from above, on 
the great doctrine evolved in Romans, 8: 32, 
' He that spared not his own Son, but delivered 
him up for us all, how shall he not with him 
also freely give us all things?' I found my 
mind led along by the Holy Spirit, farther and 
farther into the intricate and amazing subject — 






LIGHT FROM EVERY POINT. 237 

and stretching my feeble understanding wider 
and wider — and in the effort to grasp it, I really 
feared I would lose my intellect, but the Lord 
gave me strength as I proceeded, binding up the 
faculties of my soul, and at the last, apparently 
from every point of the Heavens, light and glory 
poured in upon me, streaming into my soul, 
until I was let into the immeasurable expanse 
of the boundless * fullness of God.' Glory to 
God in the highest. I was never so blessed 
before, or thrown into such ungovernable ecsta- 
sies of love in all my life. The earth was far 
below, and quite too small for me, — c God was 
the strength of my heart and my portion,' — and 
for some time I lay not like my Redeemer, in 
an 'agony on the cold earth' covered with 
sweat and blood — but on the floor of my study, 
in inexpressible joy, shouting the high praises 
of God. My dear wife who was asleep in 
another room, suddenly awoke, and was not a 
little surprised, but less alarmed than the 
Philippian jailer, when the prayer of Paul and 
Silas shook the prison. It was not the first 



238 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

time she had seen me happy or heard me shout, 
therefore she manifested no alarm or particular 
uneasiness about my situation. " 

Mr. Baldwin was a close student, and well 
versed in the doctrines of the Bible. His 
sermons were all well digested and methodically 
arranged. Although he never approved of the 
practice of reading sermons in the pulpit, yet 
he did sanction by precept and example, the 
useful practice of writing sermons and sketches. 
In the latter part of his short life, he devoted 
himself more closely to this important part of a 
minister's duty. His " profiting appeared" to 
all who had the pleasure of sitting under his 
ministry. 

Jan. 13,1839. " Sunday morning the Lord 
was in our midst. I had bestowed much labor 
on my discourse, and the Lord assisted me in 
delivering it. Since I have come to Parkers- 
burgh, I have in nearly every instance of 
preaching from a new text or a new plan, writ- 
ten out my sermon, almost at full length. And 
why may I not have the promise of God, and 



NERVOUS AND SYSTEMATIC. 239 

the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, in my 
closet meditations, as in my pulpit exercises. 
By this course of preparation, I can preserve a 
distinction in my discourses — although many 
of them are on kindred or similar subjects. 
In this way I avoid a repetition of the same set 
of phrases, and sameness of manner of argu- 
ment, illustration, and application. I can be 
full without redundancy, and observe a more 
close, nervous and systematic course of reason- 
ing, than I can generally expect to attain when 
I have only a general outline marked out. Yet 
I leave room for enlargement on subjects par- 
tially discussed — for a fuller developement 
of thought, in the expanding process of expres- 
sion, — for new ideas as they may advantageous- 
ly be employed, to be engrafted upon the 
parent stock, and for dress and embellishment, 
as the occasion may require — taking care never 
to go beyond a neat and plain style of elocution. 
My aim in the fear of God is to be understood 
by the most ignorant, and apprehended by the 
most dull in the congregation." 



240 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

Is not this an example worthy of imitation 
of all christian ministers? 

Mr. Baldwin had a remarkable faculty of 
adapting his discourse to the occasion. Being 
called upon at one of his appointments to 
preach the funeral of a child that had died sud- 
denly, he says: — August 16, " Preached the 
funeral of Mr. B. N's. child, who died suddenly 
like Benjamin. Text, ' His brother was dead, 
and he alone was left of his mother, and his 
father loved him.' From the giving out of 
the hymn ' God moves in a mysterious way/ 
the Lord was with us. I had uncommon liberty 
and power in preaching. Our class meeting 
was a heart melting and reviving time ; one 
of such universal, deep and powerful excite- 
ment as to draw strangers within the house, and 
to windows without, one of whom stood and wept 
like a child. At the close, the bereaved father 
offered himself for admission on trial, — truly 
there is joy on earth as well as in Heaven, over 
one sinner that repenteth." 



i 



FRATERNAL LETTERS. 
CHAPTER XX. 

TO REV. WILLIAM YOUNG. 

Dear Brother : I do not intend it as a mere 
compliment when I tell you I was truly 
pleased to receive a few lines from you, 
al though they contain no very cheering intel- 
ligence. The society and the correspondence 
of my brethren in the ministry, I prize very 
highly, and I am always gratified with the 
least mark of kindness from them. I have 
sometimes, though not now as formerly, when 
I am with my brethren, thought of Paul upon 
his first visit to Jerusalem. Yet I can hardly 
think for a moment, that my religion is doubt- 
ed, or that I am the object of distrust, much 
less of fear, but my former profession and 
associations, I am satisfied, have often thrown 
difiiculties in my way and prevented a ready 
16 241 



242 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

access to the hearts of the people. Religion 
is love — we all profess to have drank of the 
same Spirit, and coldness, jealousy and con- 
straint, can have no welcome place where Jesus 
deigns to dwell. * * * * * 
To attend your meeting, I should have to 
leave four or five of my regular appointments, 
and I really think my presence unnecessary. 
I am somewhat stale to the people of Charles- 
ton. You and brother Findley are yet fresh. 
Brother Spencer too will be new. You have 
also brother Wesley Young, good for effective 
service. I think you are strong; all you want 
is faith. I pray you may have the great 
Head of the Church with you and that the 
work of the Lord may be gloriously revived. 
Since I wrote the first part of my letter, my faith 
has increased in reference to our prospects 
on this circuit. At every appointment during 
the last week, and especially at Black's and 
in Barbourville, on Sunday and Sunday night, 
I felt much of the presence and power of the 
Lord, and my soul was filled with his love. 



ONE THEME INTERESTING. 243 

"Pray for us that the word of God may 
have free course and be glorified." 
Yours, 

Charles R. Baldwin. 



ADVICE TO A PENITENT. 
TO MRS. AGNES S. SEHON. 

Guyandotte, December 17, 1834. 
My Dear Madam: I trust you will not re- 
gard it as a mere common expression of civility 
when I assure you, that since our first acquaint- 
ance, you have occupied a higher place in 
my esteem, than merely that of a sister of 
my wife. To-day I have thought I would 
devote a few moments in writing to you. And 
encouraged by the wishes of Mary Jane, I 
have without ceremony set about it. But I 
am sadly at a loss what to write. Yet it is 
possible, I can find one theme interesting to 
us both; the religion of Jesus Christ — a knowl- 
edge of the pardon of oar sins and the love 
of God shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy 



244 CONVERSION OP A SKEPTIC. 

Ghost, given unto us, and abiding within ua 
continually. 

I have tried this religion in prosperity. 
How powerful to regulate the appetites, con- 
trol the passions, subdue every sinful temper, 
sanctify the affections, purify the heart, and 
keep the soul stayed upon Grod. How effect- 
ually does it destroy every inordinate desire, 
check every unholy propensity, and crucify 
us to the world and the world to us. I have 
tried it in sickness and adversity. How sooth- 
ing and comforting to the soul are its heavenly 
consolations ! What grace and strength does 
it minister to the mind in its greatest trials 
and afflictions ! How superior does it render 
the soul to the influence of bodily pain and 
infirmity ! It calms every fear, soothes every 
sorrow, banishes every doubt, bids every care 
and murmuring thought begone, and fills the 
soul with a calm, heavenly peace, ever flowing 
like 'a river. 

" Though deep, yet clear, though gentle, yet not dull — 
Strong without rage, without overflowing, full." 



EVERYTHING IMPLIED IN THIS. 245 

In the last particular, however, the comparison 
does not hold good ; for we often receive the 
love of God in measure "running over" And 
I am willing to try this religion " in the hour 
of death and the day of judgment." It will 
stand any test, God himself will not disown 
it, for it is His own work in the soul. 

When I last conversed with you on this 
subject, you were anxiously inquiring how this 
religion was to be sought and obtained ? If 
you have not yet found it, let me refer you 
to the language of God by the prophet, " For 
I know the thoughts that I think toward 
you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and 
not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then 
shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and 
pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. 
And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye 
search for me with all your heart" — Jeremiah, 
29 : 11, 12, 13. Much, yea, everything is 
implied in this. If our feelings, desires, or 
affections are in any degree drawn away from 
God, we shall seek Him in vain. His language 



246 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

is, " My son, daughter, give me thy heart." 
Where then will you seek the Lord with the 
best prospects of success ? In your closet, 
you answer, and, perhaps, you may be correct. 
But how long have you been thus seeking and 
with what success ? Do you feel that you 
are any nearer the object of your search? 
Do you not need occasionally some advice, 
or comfort, or encouragement, and if you could, 
at times, meet with others, who are themselves 
seeking, or have sought and obtained, and 
spend an hour or two with them singing, in 
conversation and prayer, would you not, in 
all probability, be mutually edified, comforted, 
and strengthened in the faith ? Such are our 
class-meetings ; and if your relation to the 
church was such, that her ministers and pious 
members were bound to instruct, admonish, 
comfort, and pray with and for you, and watch 
over you as those who must give account, 
would not your confidence be greatly strength- 
ened, and your growth " in grace and in the 
knowledge of Christ," be probably accelerated? 



JUST WHAT YOU ARE. 24 7 

But you wish to obtain religion, before you 
unite with the church. Why? On what ac- 
count would you stay back — your own or that 
of the church? Not on your own surely, 
for by attaching yourself to the church of 
Christ, as a sincere seeker of religion, would 
not lessen your privilege or your obligations; 
but would greatly increase both. By joining 
the Methodist church you do not profess re- 
ligion unless you have actually experienced 
the forgiveness of your sins, but we set 
you down for just what you are — a penitent, 
a mourner in Zion, a seeker of the religion 
of Jesus Christ. It is, then, on our account. 
You might backslide, or by an inconsistent 
walk, bring reproach upon the church. And 
so you might, even if you were converted. 
But if those who are constituted the guardians 
of her honor, who are " jealous over her with 
godly jealousy, that they may present her 
a chaste virgin to Christ," are willing to receive 
you, why are you so fearful of her disgrace ? 
Permit me to remark that no member can 



248 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

disgrace the church of Christ, however much 
he may disgrace himself — or his official 
representatives may disgrace themselves by 
countenancing an unworthy member. Our 
Savior certainly knew when He called Judas 
and Peter into the apostleship, that one would 
betray, and the other deny him. And unques- 
tionably he who purchased the church with 
His own blood, felt for her honor more than 
it is possible for us to feel ; and yet, He un- 
hesitatingly advanced them to stations, from 
which their subsequent defection was the more 
conspicuous, and to all human appearance 
the more disgraceful and ruinous to His cause. 
The great inquiry with every one should be, 
" What must I do to be saved ? " What can 
I do that would be most likely to benefit my 
own soul ? With the honor or dishonor of the 
church we have no especial concern beyond 
that. Its great Founder and Head will keep 
her " safe as the apple of his eye." For 
ourselves, we ought to hedge in our way as 
much as possible, so as to cut off all retreat 



WE SHALL BUT DIE. 249 

back to the world. Of one thing I am morally 
certain — to those who are humbly seeking the 
pardon of their sins, the course recommended 
can do no possible harm, but it may be pro- 
ductive of most important benefits in time 
and in eternity. The determination of the 
Samaritan lepers, was as prudent as the reason 
of it was irresistible. "If we say we will enter 
into the city, then the famine is in the city, 
and we shall die there ; and if we sit still here, 
we die also. Now, therefore, come and let 
us fall unto the host of the Syrians; if they 
save us alive, we shall live, and if they kill 
us, we shall but die." 

"I can but perish if I go, 
I am resolved to try ; 
For if I stay away, I know, 
I shall forever die." 

Affectionately, yours, in Christ, 

Charles E. Baldwin. 



250 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

LONGING TO IMPART SPIRITUAL GIFTS. 

To Mr. A. Lasley, of Gallia Co., Ohio. 

My Dear Brother : I often think and talk 
of you and your kind family, and the good 
meetings we used to have at your house. 
Indeed, I am but a poor correspondent, yet 
I sometimes write as I preach, from a sense 
of duty, and not because I expect to profit 
any body. I can write to you as Paul did 
to the Romans, "I long to see you, that I 
may impart unto you some spiritual gift, to 
the end ye may be established. That is, that 
I may be comforted together with you by 
the mutual faith of you and of me." Not 
that I am without comfort here, or that I have 
any desire to leave the circuit, or think I 
should be any better satisfied elsewhere. I 
thank God, religion is as good here as on 
the Galliopolis circuit — now as when I first 
tasted that the Lord was gracious, yea, as when 
I first drank of the pure stream of " perfect 
love." Indeed, I think my enjoyments are 



NOT ONE DARK HOUR. 251 

growing deeper and more constant, and that 
I am more and more rooted and grounded 
in the love of God. I can not say that I 
have had one dark hour since I left you. 
Every day my soul has been made happy in 
the love of God, and I am going on my way 
rejoicing. Indeed, for a few days or weeks 
past, I have felt a more constant sense of 
the divine presence, especially in my public 
ministry, than I ever did before. For all this, 
the Lord be praised, for " by the grace of God 
I am what I am," a miracle of mercy, a brand 
plucked out of the fire. 

Yours, with affectionate regard, 

Charles R. Baldwin. 

A DISPENSATION OF MERCY. 
TO DANIEL T. BALDWIN, ESQ. 

My Dear Brother : Your letter announcing 
the melancholy intelligence of the death of 
our brother George, his wife, and daughter, 
was received last evening. This dispensation 
of Almighty God has excited various refiec- 



252 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

tions in my mind. Though I had not seen 
him for years, and no direct communication 
had passed between us, I yet find he had a 
brother's place in my affections. Almost twenty 
years have passed since our number has been 
lessened, but in the ordinary course of nature, 
that period will not again roll by, before the 
most of us will be swept from the stage of 
action, and be numbered with the great con- 
gregation of the dead. Doubtless this is a 
dispensation of mercy, designed for the benefit 
of us all. Many years ago, our brother and 
his amiable partner made a profession of the 
religion of Jesus Christ ; and if they have 
lived faithful, they are now beyond the cares 
and sorrows of this mortal life, and are forever 
happy with the Lord. But how would it 
have been if the hand of God had fallen with 
equal weight on some other branches of the 
family ? I fear I must have sorrowed for them 
as those who have no hope. Sad and melan- 
choly reflection. Our parents were both pious, 
and endeavored to train up their children in 



PRAYED TO BE EXCUSED. 253 

the nurture and fear of the Lord, that they 
might be useful here and hereafter. Some 
of them have chosen that part which shall 
never be taken from them, and part of them 
are enjoying the felicities of heaven while 
others are on their way ; but there are others 
who have " prayed to be excused," and I am 
awfully afraid that the Lord will take them 
at their word. But while I have my fears, 
I have also my hopes, and shall not cease 
to make you all the subjects of my prayers, 
that God may yet awaken you to a sense of 
your danger, and that you may be wise enough 
"to think on these things and to meditate 
upon your latter end." I am glad to hear 
of the favorable character you give of the 
eldest son. I intend to write to him and 
the other bereaved children the first leisure 
moments. 

You are right in supposing that I have 
not taken upon myself the great responsibility 
of a minister of the gospel, without the most 
serious, solemn, and deliberate, and,. I will add, 



254 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

prayerful attention. I have not gone to labor 
in the vineyard unsent. I am one of those 
who believe in that fundamental, canon of our 
mother Church — " The being moved to that 
sacred office by the Holy Ghost ; " the com- 
mission which I bear is from the " Great Head 
of the Church." I cordially respond to the 
hope expressed by you, that I may be useful 
in my vocation and ministry, and that we 
all may at last receive a crown of glory eternal 
in the heavens. 

Yours, affectionately, 

Charles R. Baldwin. 

COURAGE MY BROTHER. 

The following letter to a discouraged minister 
will be profitable to many who have peculiar 
trials and temptations in preaching the gospel : 

TO REY. JOHN F. GRAY. 

My Dear Brother: I had been for some 
weeks looking for a letter from you, and had 
commenced framing an epistolary information ' 
against you for negligence and non-feasance, 



NOLLE PROSEQUI. 255 

as you and I would once have said, but 
receiving yours of the 18th this morning, I 
have entered a nolle prosequi. I am glad to 
hear from you, though I should have preferred 
almost any other writer as a model to good 
old Jeremiah. Courage my brother. 

" The clouds you so much dread 
Are big with mercy, and shall break 
In blessings on your head." 

It is through much tribulation that we enter 
into the kingdom of God. In committing 
to Paul a dispensation of the gospel, our 
Savior showed to him, "how great things he 
must suffer for his sake." "If we suffer 
with Him/' says this eminent apostle — "we 
shall also reign with Him." You and I are 
yet young in the ministry, and we ought 
not always to look for immediate and over- 
whelming success. Paul, the least of all the 
apostles, as he termed himself, yet, "in labors, 
more abundant than they all," has left us an 
example. When in Ephesus, "he taught publicly 
and from htfuse to house, and by the space 



256 CONVERSION OP A SKEPTIC. 

of three years ceased not to warn every one, 
day and night with tears. " His disinterested, 
fervent, and persevering labors, were at length 
owned of the Lord in the conversion of many 
souls. Do we thus labor? " They that sow 
in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth 
forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall 
doubtless come again rejoicing, bringing his 
sheaves with him." We should not expect 
to set our circuits all on fire at one round; 
nor pronounce our people cold and incorrigible, 
because they will not weep and shout under 
our first sermons. We must take time to get 
acquainted with them, to study their characters, 
learn their wants, and gradually by divine 
grace, open a way into their hearts. Many 
causes may at first obstruct our progress, but 
faith and prayer can remove mountains. You 
have had thoughts of " turning or looking 
back." "Will ye also go away?" Have you 
thought to whom you will go when you desert 
Jesus and His cause ? Away with these sug- 
gestions. Give no place even for a moment, 



THE MIND STAYED ON JESUS. 257 

to any such temptations. Say, " Get thee 
behind me, Satan, thou art an offense unto 
me." My brother, think not a moment of 
going back to the world. It is no friend 
to grace to help us on to God. The hour 
is coming when we shall desire to say with 
Paul, " I have fought a good fight, I have 
finished my course, I have kept the faith, 
henceforth, there is laid up for me a crown 
of righteousness." " Let us, therefore, never 
weary in well doing, for in due season we 
shall reap, if we faint not." For myself, my 
mark is onward and upward. I often sing, 

" Lo, onward I move to a city above," 

and my soul swells with the hope of immortal 
glory beyond the grave. I have not the first 
thought of looking back ; but feel thankful 
to God, that I have escaped the pollutions 
of the world. I have my temptations and 
trials, but none that can shake my confidence 
in my lledeemer. My mind is stayed on Jesus 
and upheld by his mighty hand. I can a re- 

17 



258 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

joiee evermore, pray without ceasing, and in 
everything give thanks." 

I need not say that I shall be glad to 
hear from you — but I beg you not to date 
your letter from " Egyjpt" or on the way 
back to that land of bondage and death. As 
long as your face is Zionward, I shall continue 

Yours, in the fellowship of the gospel. 

Charles R. Baldwin. 



INSTANT IN SEASON. 
CHAPTER XXI. 

" Be instant in season, ont of season." 
The following reminiscences from the pen of 
Mr. Baldwin, are full of instruction to the 
young : 

"During the first year of my travels," says 
Mr. Baldwin, "there resided in the vicinity of one 
of my appointments, an elderly lady, whose 
husband had died several years before in the 
triumphs of faith, but she herself was an open- 
ly avowed enemy of revealed religion. She 
was a professed Universalist, and to the extent 
of her ability and influence^ an active propa- 
gator of what she professed. In her family 
was a son, about twenty-two years of age, who 
had been fond of the gayeties and follies of life, 
but whose character for morality and integrity, 
so far as I know, was unimpeachable. Though 
259 



260 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

I had preached often for several months, within 
a very short distance of her house, I do not re- 
member ever to have seen any member of her 
family at church, consequently I had no personal 
acquaintance with any of them. On one occa- 
sion I was informed that the young man was in 
the last stage of consumption. I knew that 
in all probability, a few days would close his 
career, therefore I felt a strong desire to see 
him. He was watched so closely, that no relig- 
ious person had been permitted to talk with 
him on the subject of religion. His deluded 
mother had been constantly assuring him that 
he had never committed any sins of which he 
should repent, — that he had always been a good 
son and would certainly go to Heaven when he 
died. In this way he had been consoling him- 
self that through his own suffering, and by the 
mere mercy of God, he would soon be in para- 
dise. I resolved to visit him, come what might. 
I accordingly called one afternoon in company 
with his uncle, who was a member of our 
church, being led, as I doubted not, by the spirit 



RESTING IN FALSE HOPES. 261 

of God. I found him very low, pale, emaciated, 
with a sunken eye, a hollow voice, and with a 
severe cough, and the hectic flush on his cheek. 
Without being asked, I took my seat by his bed, 
and in the presence of his gloomy keeper, com- 
menced a conversation upon the all important 
subject of the salvation of his soul. I apprized 
him that to all appearance, he had not long to 
live, and inquired of him what were his hopes 
of heaven. At first he appeared much discon- 
certed and rather angry at my interrogations. 
He replied in substance that he expected to die, 
and was not afraid of death — he never had 
committed the unpardonable sin. I then en- 
deavored to explain to him the nature of the 
atonement, that there was salvation only in the 
Lord Jesus Christ — that all had sinned and 
come short of the glory of God, and that with- 
out repentance and faith in Christ, he would be 
lost forever. I then solemnly warned him 
against resting in a false security, when the 
peace which he professed to feel, did not flow 
from a consciousness of the forgiveness of sins, 



262 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

and the love of God shed abroad in the heart 
by the Holy Ghost given unto him. I exhorted 
him to repent, and by constant and fervent 
prayer, to seek for a preparation to meet God, 
which would soon be his doom. I then pro- 
posed prayer, and without waiting to know 
whether it would be acceptable or not, I kneeled 
by the bed of death, and fervently supplicated 
a throne of grace in behalf of the wretched 
sufferer. The Lord heard and answered my 
prayer. He trembled and wept, and sighed in 
bitterness and anguish. I left him greatly 
humbled, and in tears. On my departure, I 
reflected much, and asked myself, will this poor 
youth be lost? and lost too, through the in- 
structions of his mother by whom he has been 
led astray. His heart was still tender, and I 
found that he desired to find the right way to 
the cross. I felt that with proper instruction, 
he might yet be plucked as a brand from the 
burning. I had faith to believe God would 
finish the work and cut it short in righteous- 
ness. In a few days I heard that he was no 



TWO PASTORAL VISITS. 263 

more. But I was rejoiced to learn that my 
colleague visited him, and talked and prayed. 
I learned that he spoke much of Jesus and 
heaven, and the last sound from his dying lips 
was, ' Glory ! ' G-lory be to God, my soul re- 
sponds. I feel altogether to-day like meeting 
that young man in heaven. I am glad that I 
ever heard of the name of Jesus, that I ever 
' forsook all to follow him,' and that I was ever 
commissioned to visit the bed of death, to tell 
the dying sinner that Jesus is able to save to 
the uttermost. I am now glad that I visited 
that young man without being sent for and 
urged to come. Two pastoral visits, one by my- 
self and the other by my colleague, were all 
the outward means with which he was favored 
during his last sickness, but they were sancti- 
fied to his salvation. I acknowledge my fre- 
quent remissness in pastoral visitations, but take 
pleasure, in recording that some of the happiest 
scenes that I have ever enjoyed, have been 
while engaged in ' going from house to house.' " 



WITHHOLD NOT THY HAND. 

CHAPTER XXII. 

"In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening 
withhold not thy hand." 

"Among the fruits of the revival," says Mr. 

Baldwin, "on circuit, in 183-, was a young 

lady about fifteen years of age, whom I shall 

call Mary T . During a great revival in 

the town of -, more than one hundred 

were added to the church. The mind of Mary 

was deeply impressed by the spirit of God. 

Young and constitutionally timid, she was much 

embarrassed when the subject of religion was 

mentioned to her; and too fearful to venture 

forward when mourners were invited to the 

altar. But upon one or two occasions she was 

led trembling to the place of prayer. Her 

sighs and tears evinced the sincerity of a broken 

heart, but she did find relief. While Rev. R. 

was spending his last Sabbath with us, he ob- 
264 



YOUNG AND EASILY EXCITED. 265 

tained the consent of parent and child to place 
her name on the list of probationers. As lead- 
er of the class, the duty of instructing and 
admonishing her now devolved upon me. 
Several of the friends and near relatives of 
Mary were not partial to that branch with 
which she had become united, and they were 
not sparing in their censures of the course 
which had been pursued in relation to her. 
The usual objections were urged, that she was 
young and easily excited — that she had been 
led to the altar without being conscious of what 
she was doing, and induced to connect herself 
with the church, simply by the persuasion of 
others, and not from any conviction of duty, and 
her continuance in the church and observance of 
its rules were regarded as an improper restraint 
upon her rights and feelings, to which she sub- 
mitted more from necessity than choice. I was 
then a boarder in the family of Mrs. T., and 
not a remote connection by marriage. My 
young charge was naturally gay and volatile in 
her disposition, and when not under the inime- 



266 CONVERSION OP A SKEPTIC. 

diate watch care of her connections, she was not 
averse to society of a kindred character and 
temperament with herself. It required all the 
authority and influence which I possessed, to 
keep her from places and scenes that would 
have inevitably impeded the work of Divine 
grace in her heart, and no doubt would have 
drawn her back again to the follies and gayeties 
of the world. I frequently advised her to a 
more close attention to her religious duties, and 
sometimes when I feared that her seriousness 
was wearing off, I made her the subject of 
special prayer in the family circle. I remem- 
ber on one occasion, that her heart was greatly 
softened; she arose from her knees weeping, 
and retired to her chamber, and her subsequent 
deportment was evidently more thoughtful and 
serious. 

" Our quarterly meeting was in October, and 
it was attended with unusual manifestations 
of the power of Almighty God. The arm of 
the Lord was made bare, and the altar at times 
crowded with mourners. The convictions of 



COUNTENANCE EXPRESSIVE. 267 

my young friend Mary came upon her with ac- 
cumulated force, until the burden of her sin 
was too heavy to be borne. She left the house 
of God, broken in spirit, and exhausted in body, 
weeping and groaning, and refused to be con- 
soled. Two others had found peace in believ- 
ing, and Mary was now sincerely hungering 
and thirsting after righteousness. Blessed be 
God, that night she found peace to her soul 
also. Her conversion was clear, bright and 
glorious. Never did I see a countenance more 
sweetly expressive and radiant with the joys 
of heaven. Her subsequent christian course 
was like that of many others. While faithful 
she enjoyed the smiles of her Savior, and when 
remiss in duty, coldness of spirit ensued. She 
continued to prove herself an acceptable mem- 
ber of the church, and went on her way rejoic- 
ing. Soon after I was called to another part 
of the vineyard of the Lord. However, I met 
her two years afterward, and found that she 
was steadfast, and much happier than the hour 
that she first believed. The winter following 



268 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

she came under my pastoral care, but alas ! the 
c fine gold had become dim.' A too constant 
and familiar intercourse with the world, had by 
1 little and little' drawn her mind from God, and 
she had lost the power and much even of the 
form of godliness. At times she was led even to 
doubt her conversion, and to look upon her past 
experience as a delusion. She had no longer 
that plainness of apparel for which she was 
once distinguished. She had gone so far back 
to the follies of fashionable life that a rigid 
enforcement of the rules of our wholesome dis- 
cipline would have excluded her from the 
privileges of church membership. I saw her 
danger and apprised her of it, and after repeat- 
ed admonitions, I informed her that unless she 
complied with the word of God and the rules 
of our church, I should be compelled to make her 
an example. At first she professed to be indif- 
ferent as to what disposition was made of her case. 
She could see no harm in wearing 'gold and 
costly array,' and if I thought best to expel 
her for so small an offense, I might do it. 



A RAPID DECLINE. 269 

Finding me, however, inexorable, she yielded, 
'put away the accursed thing' and retained her 
place in the church. She soon became more 
humble and thoughtful ; sincerely lamented and 
bewailed her backslidden state, and prayed that 
she might again be restored to the favor of God. 
But the Lord was preparing to remove her from 
the church militant. Early in the spring she 
fell into a rapid decline, and it was soon ap- 
parent that whatsoever her hand found to do, 
must be done quickly, and with her might. 
She earnestly besought the Lord to restore 
her lost peace, and heal all her backslidings. It 
was not long until the Lord lifted upon her 
again the light of his countenance and made 
her drooping heart rejoice. It was a beautiful 
morning in the month of June, that I was called 
from my bed to visit Mary for the last time. 
Her extremities were cold, and for several hours' 
she had been grappling with the monster death. 
We knelt around her bed and commended her 
departing spirit into the hands of G-od. She 
was perfectly conscious, and could speak, 



270 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

though very indistinctly. She thought that 
she would live for weeks yet. We however 
assured her that she was dying. She suffered 
greatly from, thirst and a suffocating feeling, 
and at first manifested some impatience at being 
gazed upon by those around her bed. How- 
ever, in answer to my inquiries, and with a 
smile that attested her sincerity, she assured 
me that she was happy — that she felt the love 
of God in her heart, that she was going to 
heaven and had no fear of death. A mortal 
death sickness soon came over her, and as she 
lay gasping for breath in much pain, I felt that 
I had power to lift up my heart to God to miti- 
gate her sufferings. In a moment a smile lit up 
the brow of death. Blessed be God, from that 
moment her sufferings apparently ceased ; and 
while we were gazing upon her as she was sink- 
ing beneath the horizon of mortality, the dark 
cloud was suddenly lifted up, and the evening 
of her earthly existence became all luminous 
with the glory of her departing spirit. Thus 
she ceased to breathe, and the heavenly smile 



PROFITABLE REFLECTIONS. 271 

which had overspread her countenance, con- 
tinned to light it up with an unearthly bright- 
ness, and to give animation to her features after 
every trace of life had become extinct. Truly 
it is written — c Precious in the sight of the 
Lord is the death of his saints.' 

" A few reflections suggest themselves to my 
mind. Had Mary T. been left to herself, she 
certainly would not have united with the church 
at the time she did, and perhaps never after- 
wards. Ah ! how many have been left to them- 
selves, who were wounded and stricken — but 
never healed for 'the want of some kind hand 
to apply the healing balm.' Had she remained 
unconnected with the church, without its fos- 
tering care and disciplinary restraints — there 
would have been nothing to have kept her from 
the trifling amusements and vanities of the 
world. The good seod would have fallen by 
the wayside, and never been brought to perfec- 
tion. We may also learn from this narrative — 
that at the time she had forsaken the Lord and 
lost her ' first love, ' faithful warning and good 



272 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

advice, proved highly salutary in her reforma- 
tion. In conclusion, I would ask, who can 
meet death with a smile but the christian? 
Philosophers have sometimes died with firmness 
and composure, in reviewing the past, but what 
of their triumphs in view of the future ? Has 
the eye of their faith ever penetrated the cur- 
tain of destiny, and kindled with the glories 
that were opening around them? No! no! 
They have taken a 'leap into the dark.' The 
christian alone can say, c My heart and my flesh 
faileth, but God is the strength of my heart 
and my portion forever.'" 



I HAVE FINISHED MY COURSE. 
CHAPTEK XXIII. 

In July, 1833, Mr. Baldwin commenced call- 
ing sinners to repentance, in Charleston and its 
vicinity. In the fall of the same year he was 
sent by the P. E., to travel Galliopolis circuit. 
In the fall of 1834 he was "duly recommended " 
and received into the Ohio Annual Conference 
and appointed to Guyandotte circuit, with our 
excellent friend and fellow laborer, Rev. Levi 
P. Miller for his colleague, whom he often men- 
tions with affectionate regard. In 1835 he was 
appointed to Charleston circuit, with Rev. Win. 
Young and Rev. A. M. Alexander for col- 
leagues. 

The reader will be able to learn something 
of the state of his feelings at this period, from 
the following extract from his journal: 

August 14. « Met Mr. A. T. Laidly, Esq., 
273 18 



274 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

this morning, who evinced much emotion on 
seeing me. We were formerly very intimate. 
Four years have elapsed since we parted. Since 
then great, and almost incredible changes have 
passed in my condition and character. I was 
then a thoughtless, worldly-minded man, in 
active business, following a lucrative profession. 
I am now a traveling Methodist preacher. I 
was then the husband of an amiable, loving 
wife, bound by many domestic ties. That wife 
I buried — was again united to an affectionate, 
pious wife, and have been bereaved a second 
time, and note feel lonely and desolate. 0, how 
changed is my condition. I can remember the 
time when Methodist preachers were sent to this 
circuit, that I felt too proud to hear — but now 
I have been sent here as the preacher in charge 
myself. Last night my congregation was very 
large; Rev. Martin of the Episcopal, and Rev. 
Calhoon of the Presbyterian church, together 
with many of their own members, were present. 
The Lord was with me while illustrating the 
glorious plan of redemption, from, 'We have 



FEMALE SEMINARY. 275 

thought of thy loving kindness, God, in the 
midst of thy temple.' Ps. 48: 9. The attention 
was serious and profound, and I feel encourag- 
ed to believe the Lord will revive his work 
here." 

In 1836 he was ordained and sent to Parkers- 
burgh station. In 1837 he attended conference 
at Xenia,Ohio, and was appointed to Lancaster 
circuit, but in consequence of family affliction, 
did not commence his labors until January 12th. 
In the fall of 1838 Mr. Baldwin was returned a 
second time to Parkersburgh station, and in 
the fall of 1839 asked for a superannuated rela- 
tion. During the conference of 1838, he 
labored with increased diligence in the cause 
of his Savior. In addition to his pulpit and 
pastoral duties, he took charge of the Female 
Seminary, and superintended all its interests 
with marked ability and success. He was a 
warm friend of education, and greatly desired 
to place this young institution upon a firm 
basis. He was well qualified for such a respon- 
sible position, and had a remarkable faculty for 



276 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

communicating instruction to those under his 
care. At the close of the second term, the 
school had a large patronage, and promised still 
greater prosperity in the future. Mr. Baldwin 
died of Bronchitis, and no doubt his increased 
labors as teacher and pastor, developed early 
the disease which brought him to a premature 
grave. His health began to decline by almost 
imperceptible degrees early in the spring. Yet 
he never relaxed his diligence in the daily dis- 
charge of his multifarious duties, but continued 
day and night to study, write, teach, and " visit 
from house to house," " warning every man," 
and exhorting and comforting the sick and 
dying. About midsummer his disease was fully 
developed and caused much uneasiness in the 
minds of his family and intimate friends. Medi- 
cal aid seemed to afford him no permanent 
relief. During the months of July and August, 
his symptoms were of an alarming character, 
and at times he was completely prostrated. 

Aug. 17, he writes in his journal as follows: 
U I do not expect to preach soon. My case is 



A CLEAR SKY. 277 

with the Lord. For my own part I never felt 
more dead to the world, nor more anxious to be 
in the itinerant field, calling sinners to repent- 
ance — preaching to all the unsearchable riches 
of Christ. Wherever and whenever I may die, 
I pray God I may l die at my post, as an itine- 
rant. Come what will I can never lo- 
cate." 

Under date of August 21, he thus writes: — 
" A pleasant call from Mrs. Taylor. While she 
was here God filled me with f all his fullness. ' 
The thought of dying has not distressed me, but 
it has made me feel solemn on account of 
my wife and children. While these things 
were on my mind, I did not feel well — though 
T was not unhappy. In the evening, however, 
my sky became more clear, and while sitting at 
the supper table, I felt that I could give up all 
to God and felt assured that he would take care 
of them — and never leave nor forsake them. 
Afterward while sitting in my chair, I felt the 
love of God and the joys of His salvation 
springing up in my soul, until I was so filled 



278 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

with the Divine fullness, that I was constrained 
with a loud voice to praise and magnify the 

Lord. NOW THE WORLD IS NOUGHT TO ME. 

Glory be to God, in such a frame as this it 
would be sweet to die." 

About a week after making this record, Mr. 
Baldwin manifested a great desire to preach 
once more before his death. And notwithstand- 
ing the remonstrance of his wife and friends, 
he prepared and preached a short sermon, 
August 25th, the outlines of which are here 
given, as it was found in his study after his 
decease. 

SERMON IN AFFLICTION. 

u What shall I render unto the Lord for all 
his benefits toward me? I will take the cup of 
salvation and call upon the name of the Lord, 
I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the 
presence of all his people." Ps. 116 : 12, 13, 14.' 

The life of David was one of constant peril. 
For many years he was engaged in bloody wars, 
and at times, to a superficial observer, death 



LANGUAGE OF CONFIDENCE. 279 

seemed inevitable. His usual language was 
that of confidence. "The Lord is my light and 
my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is 
the strength of my life, of whom shall I be 
afraid ? " " Though a host should encamp against 
me, mine heart shall not fear." He had recent- 
ly been brought nigh unto death and found his 
case one of perplexity and sorrow. But when 
he called upon the Lord he was delivered — and 
then asks "What shall I render unto the Lord 
for all his benefits." 

I. The benefits conferred. "For me/' said 
St. Paul, " to die is gain." Was the Psalmist 
of a different opinion, when he was so urgent 
in his entreaty for God to spare his life, and so 
thankful when that prayer was granted? There 
are circumstances that make death in some de- 
gree to be feared and avoided even by a good 
man — even one who is well assured that if the 
earthly house of his tabernacle was dissolved, 
that he has a building of God, a house not 
made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 

1. When he feels that his work is not 



280 



CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 



finished. It was so with David, he had the 
Kingdom of Israel promised to him and his 
posterity — but his throne was not established, 
and the son to whom it was to be transmitted 
was not yet designated by the Almighty. There 
was much for him to do before his eye could see 
the full, promised salvation of God. 

2. When he has reason to doubt whether it 
is his Lord's will to call him. No man by im- 
prudence or neglect of the ordinary means of 
prevention, can rightfully abridge the life which 
God has given him. In the faithful discharge 
of duty, or the plain visitation of Divine provi- 
dence, should disease overtake the servant of 
God, and a fatal termination appear inevitable, 
he can nevertheless die in peace, and feel 
assured that his " Master calleth him." 

3. When his house is not, and can not be 
set in order by him. It is enjoined upon the 
followers of Christ to owe no man anything, 
and to provide things honest in the sight of all 
men. Yet the servant of God who has been 
industrious, prudent, temperate in all things, 



THE WIDOW'S POT OF OIL. 281 

may have unavoidably fallen into temporary 
embarrassment, and yet by the blessing of God, 
should life be spared but a few short years, or 
a short season, his prospect not only of relief, 
but of a competency might be fair. Under 
such circumstances, should he desire to live, he 
would evince no fear of death. 

4. The circumstances of his family. But I 
will not dwell here — The widow of one of the 
sons of the Prophet cried unto Elisha saying, 
u Thy servant, my husband is dead, and thou 
knowest that thy servant did fear the Lord, and 
the creditor is come to take unto him my two 
sons to be bondsmen — and their hand maid has 
not anything in the house save a pot of oil." It 
was a hard case. But God multiplied the 
widow's oil until she paid her unfeeling creditor 
and had a sufficiency left for the support of her 
family. Can the christian read this and fear to 
leave his wife and two sons, yea, and his daugh- 
ter, in the hands of his God? (Mr. B. had two 
sons and one daughter.) But the Psalmist felt 



282 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

as many others do, that the preservation of life 
is a benefit, which brings me to consider 

II. The return proposed. I will take 
the cup of salvation. Allusion is here made 
to a custom among the Jews, when they offered 
sacrifices in the temple, and feasted unto the 
Lord — and the cup of deliverance, (if God had 
rescued them from any threatened calamity,) 
was taken and drank as a thank offering unto 
Him. Alluding to the Sacrament, Paul asks, 
"The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not 
the communion of the blood of Christ?" 
There is a peculiar appropriateness when we are 
raised from a bed of affliction, in repairing to the 
house of God to commemorate the dying 
love of Jesus. It was His cross that purchased 
our pardon. From his tomb life and immortali- 
ty have flown to us. " Because I live, saith he, 
ye shall live also." Our life is hid with Christ 
in God. Many that are spared in answer to 
the tears and entreaty of their friends, perfum- 
ed with the all-atoning merits of Christ,— after- 
wards take the cup — but not of salvation — not 



TRIES OUR CHRISTIAN GRACES. 283 

of thanksgiving to God — not of penitential 
sorrow over their past sin — but the cup of 
revelry and abomination — as it proves to be 
in the end — the cup of damnation to their own 
souls. 0, how many that on the sick bed have 
been deeply distressed, and promised to do bet- 
ter, and supplicated God — no sooner is the 
supposed danger over, than they have practi- 
cally demonstrated how superficial and fallacious 
in the general, are death-bed repentance and 
death-bed conversions. Not so with the man 
after God's own heart — "I will take the cup 
of salvation, and though the danger has fled 
away, I will call upon the name of the 
Lord, I will thank him for his benefits, and 
continue to supplicate new mercies from his 
throne." But this is not all. Affliction, and 
especially the near prospect of death, tries our 
christian graces, and if there is any deficiency 
in our religious character, we then feel it most 
painfully. The imperfect believer as well as 
the sinner, and the apostate from Christ finds 
it to be a fearful thing to fall into the hands 



284 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

of the living God. At such times, if the Holy 
Spirit perform His searching operations upon the 
heart, the christian is brought to repentance — 
acknowledges his unfaithfulness, mourns over 
the remaining imperfections which he finds to 
be within him, and promises if restored, to 
serve God in "newness of life." This may 
have been the case with David. In fact he 
acknowledges that he had fallen into fear and 
doubtfulness, and an unusual distrust of all 
mankind. But a better feeling had come over 
him ; God had dealt bountifully with him, and 
now as all the return he could make for his 
benefits, he says, " I will pay vows now unto 
the Lord, in the presence of all his people." 
I will appear in his courts as his worshiper, 
his servant redeemed and ransomed by his 
blood. 

My brethren, I feel thankful to God I am 
once more permitted to stand in his house, 
though but for a few moments, and to tell of the 
goodness of God towards me. There have been 
hours in my affliction that I was almost brought 



LIFE'S EBBINGS AND FLOWINGS. 285 

to the conclusion that my race was well nigh 
ended. And there have been brief intervals 
when I have watched the ebbing s and flowings 
of life's feeble current, as the mariner in the 
storm watches the breakers which he expects 
every moment to founder his bark. Of reach- 
ing heaven I have had no fear. But I have 
felt that I was too much entangled in the 
affairs of this life — and how was I to set my 
house in order? I need not say that my reflec- 
tions, growing out of those considerations were 
serious, but never painful nor embarrassing. 
For " He that dwelleth in the secret place of the 
Most High, shall abide under the shadow of the 
Almighty." "I cried unto the Lord and he 
heard me and delivered me from my fears." In 
the fullness of His love 1" was willing to leave 
all and be with Christ. And in taking my life 
anew from the hand of God, I pray that I may 
be more humble, more holy, and more than 
ever given up to God. 

In his journal under date of August 25th, 



286 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

1839, lie thus alludes to this solemn and in- 
teresting service : — 

" A heavy sweat last night, which weakened 
me greatly, but I had given out word that I 
would preach a short sermon to-day. Feeble 
as I felt myself to be, I knew God would 
help me. My family tried to dissuade me 
from making the effort, as did some of my 
friends by a message, and at the church they 
all advised me against it. But so clearly was 
I persuaded that it was my duty, and that the 
Lord would assist me, that I resolved to make 
the effort and ventured all upon Christ. I 
preached about twenty or twenty-five minutes, 
from Psalm 116: 12, 13, 14: 'What shall I 
render unto the Lord for all his benefits toward 
me ? I will take the cup of salvation, and 
call upon the name of the Lord. I will pay 
my vows unto the Lord now in the presence 
of all his people.' I was exceedingly low in 
the commencement, my pulse throbbing at 
more than one hundred and thirty per minute* 
Nothing but the clearest assurance of divine 



SOCIAL HABITS CHANGED. 287 

aid in affording physical as well as spiritual 
strength, or I should have deemed the attempt 
to preach nothing but madness. By degrees 
I grew stronger, and felt my heart warmed 
by the love of God, and my voice became 
tolerably clear and full. The Lord owned 
the word to some hearts. After dinner I took 
a short sleep and felt better. The Lord is 
good to me, better than my fears, but I am 
far from being an effective man, nor do I expect 
to be the coming winter. But who can tell 
what great things the Lord may do for me 
yet? My soul has had deep and sweet com- 
munion with God this evening." 

Five days after he attempted to preach, I 
find the following interesting memorandum: — 

August 30th, 1839. — "I must change my 
habits of sociability and seclude myself in a 
good degree even from my family, or my 
earthly career must soon close. My disease, 
the Bronchitis, is fast returning — and when 
it gets a firm hold, it clings with a deadly 
grasp. I thank God I feel entirely reconciled 



288 



CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 



to die. The world does not invite my stay — 
and I am not without the impression that I 
shall not recover. I believe the Lord is willing 
to restore me — and yet / seem on the road 
to death. I tell my friends I must not talk, 
and they say so too, but still hang on to me 
until I am ready to sink ; and then, again, 
it is nearly as bad to be questioned and feel 
the answer rising in the throat, and then have 
to suppress it. But what is to be done ? My 
affectionate wife loves me, and it seems hard 
for her to sit by my side, and not speak to 
me — and then again I get much better, and 
get cheerful, feel lively in conversation, and 
then I am soon prostrated. Then I am silent, 
and in a few . days I get rested. I am now 
somewhat recovered from my late prostration, 
but my cough is worse than it has been for 
three weeks — pulse quick, hard, and feeble, 
and my throat sore. The coming week will 
decide my case. The prospect of death is 
delightful to my soul — I feel like shouting, 
glory to God, while I write. My peace is made 



LOCATION IN HEAVEN. 289 

with God. My title is clear to heaven. My 
Heavenly Father will take care of my beloved 
wife and children. But if God should order 
it for me to remain, 

'111 suffer on my three score years, 

Till my Deliverer come, 
And wipes away Lis servant's tears, 
And takes his exile home.' 

" I hear them singing in the back part of 
the house — the songs of Zion are sweet to 
the ear and transporting to the heart." 

He speaks in his journal a short time 
previous to his death, of being deeply affected 
while reading an account of the death of the 
wife of Rev. James D. Holding, of the Ken- 
tucky conference, who during her illness con- 
stantly exhorted her husband in these words, 

— " NEVER LOCATE UNTIL YOU LOCATE IN 

heaven;" and who also requested her rela- 
tives to sing for her, when dying, a favorite 



" joyfal sound of gospel grace, 
Christ shall in me appear," etc. 

While she joined in singing these lines, 
19 



290 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

"He visits now this house of clay, 
He shakes his future home." 

She seemed to regain her strength and shouted 
aloud, and with her eyes fixed on heaven, 
spread out her arms as if conscious of embrac- 
ing a friend, she exclaimed with great ecstasy, 
" 0, here is my mother and my sister," both 
of whom had. preceded her to heaven, and 
then said, "The room is full of glory. Head 
of the church, be the head of my husband." 
Ah, no wonder such a joyful testimony as 
the above touched the heart of Mr. Baldwin, 
who, himself was already having such sweet 
libations of the "glory" soon to be revealed. 
In this happy frame he continued all the time 
of his sickness. On the 18th of September 
he had a violent hemorrhage which brought 
him to the gates of death, but he was calm 
and joyful in the God of his salvation. One 
week after, he dictated the following note to 
the Rev. William Herr, who was then stationed 
at Columbus, Ohio. 



NEAR THE PROMISED LAND. 291 

" Dear Brother Herr : 

"I address you, in all probability, for the 
last time ; I think I am getting near the 
promised land. The prospect is delightful. 
And if my gracious Father will but send the 
heavenly breeze, in a few days I shall be safe 
in the harbor of eternal repose." 

Company coming in at this hour, he was 
compelled to give his attention to temporal 
things to set his house in order. It was thought 
he would not survive long after this attack, 
but his system rallied again, and he was soon 
able to sit up in his bed and converse a 
little with his family. He made frequent 
reference to the Ohio conference which was 
in session at that time, and his determination 
to "die at his post" in "full harness." God 
granted his request. 

His last record was made in his journal 
October 31st, 1839, and most clearly evinces 
that he was ready to depart and be with Christ : 

"By the mercy of God I am able to resume 
my pen. On the 10th of September, after 



292 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

supper, I was attacked with a violent Hemor- 
rhage from the lungs. Doctor Safford came 
speedily to my assistance. I bled about two 
quarts, but after drinking plentifully of strong 
salt-water I was relieved. With a little assist- 
ance I can now walk out into the other room, 
and sit at the table noon and night with my 
family. God's mercies have been unspeakable. 
From the first hour of my sickness, my cup 
has been made to run over with l perfect love' 
and divine joy. I can not pray or ask a 

BLESSING WITHOUT SHOUTING. 

" I have been very nigh unto death, and 
for weeks past have been expecting to die. 
But the prospect of death is delightful and 
glorious. Not a cloud between my longing 
soul and heaven, and not a wish to stay. I 
am contented to live if it be the will of God, 
or to die. Glory be to the Lord ! Glory ! 
Glory ! ! " 

In view of Mr. Baldwin's health, the con- 
ference granted him a superannuated relation, 
and the late Rev. James B. Austin succeeded 



DYING MESSAGES. 293 

him in the station. The day after the arrival 
of Mr. Austin at Parkersburg, he paid a visit 
to the dying chamber of Mr. Baldwin and 
found him in an " ecstasy of joy." And during 
his subsequent illness, Mr. A. remarks, " I 
visited him frequently, and always found him 
happy in God. No gloom, no fear shrouded 
his mind." In the early part of the first week 
in November, he became much worse, and 
suffered a great deal of pain, but endured it 
all without a word of murmur, the " perfect 
love" of God which he had enjoyed for a long 
time, enabled him to "rejoice always." 

On Friday afternoon, he requested the Kev. 
J. B. Austin to preach his funeral to the 
people of his charge, and then said, "O tell 
them of the blessing of sanctification — that 
great blessing which I received five years ago 
in May. Tell them death has no sting. O 
glory, glory," and then shouted and praised 
God until he was exhausted. He sent the 
following message to the conference, while 
gasping for breath: "Brother Austin, tell the 



294 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

preachers of the Ohio conference the blessing 
of sanctification which I have so long enjoyed 
and preached to others, sustains me now." He 
then took a most solemn and affectionate leave 
of his beloved wife — took her in his arms 
and assured her that God would take care 
of her. He then fondly embraced his three 
children and committed them all, and also 
many friends present into the hands of God. 
He suffered much during the night, but was 
very happy, patient, and resigned. On Satur- 
day morning, his last day on earth, he had 
their youngest child, Thomas Tavenor, brought 
into his room and consecrated to God in holy 
baptism. He then felt his work was all done, 
and he waited for the coming of his Lord 
with great joy; after giving up once more 
all his family into the hands of God, and 
asking a blessing upon them. He then talked 
to all present and longed to depart and be at 
rest. He was " more than conqueror." 

"His hope was full, 
O glorious hope of immortality." 



THE DYING SCENE. 295 

In this joyful state of mind lie continued 
all day. The evening shades were coming 
quickly, while the sands of life were ebbing 
fast. At length the hour of his departure 
came, and he called his weeping wife to his 
bed, and gave her his dying blessing, and be- 
sought her not to grieve over his departure. 
He then blessed each of his children and com- 
mitted them all once more to the care of his 
heavenly Father, and prayed for all who were 
present. Kev. Mr. Austin remarks ; " The 
scene was deeply solemn and affecting. I had 
never witnessed anything like it before. His 
death was truly triumphant." When the 
last moment arrived, brother Austin approached 
him and said, "Mr. Baldwin, we think you 
are just on the verge of eternity — How is it 
with you now? Is all well now?" He 
instantly raised his dying hand and said in a 
distinct voice, " Victory ! victory ! ! Glory ! 
glory ! ! " Thus died in great peace, Charles 
K. Baldwin, on Saturday night, at nine o'clock 
P. M., November 9th, 1839. 



k BRIEF RETROSPECT. 
CHAPTER XXIV. 

I FIRST made the acquaintance of Mr. Bald- 
win at the conference in Xenia, Ohio, in 1837. 
He boarded near to my u lodging," where I 
had a good opportunity of seeing him frequent- 
ly. I was favorably impressed with his ap- 
pearance, christian conversation, and exemplary 
ministerial deportment. His manner of con- 
ducting the services of the pulpit was solemn 
and impressive. His outward contour was 
attractive. He was about five feet nine inches 
in hight, with a strong muscular frame, and 
well proportioned. He had fair hair, with 
clear blue eyes, light complexion, and expan- 
sive forehead, and a mouth expressive of great 
firmness and of sufficient capacity to enable 
him to speak without an effort. His face 
was marked with strong lineaments of energy 
296 



THE PATH MADE PLAIN. 297 

and perseverance, which were striking charac- 
teristics of the man. From, his manner of 
preparation for the pulpit, the reader has 
already learned that 

"His noble mind could not stoop 
To the affected eloquence of words." 

He always had a clear conception of his 
subject, and at times his discourses were highly 
argumentative. His language was plain and 
easy, and he presented his ideas with such 
clearness, that an attentive hearer, on returning 
from church, could, repeat a large portion of 
the sermon. The path of life was made so 
plain, and divine truth so cogently enforced 
and riveted upon the understanding and con- 
science, that it was difficult to shake it off. 
He did not preach what some called "great 
oratorical sermons," but strong, forcible, highly 
scriptural and evangelical. They were always 
in good taste and in keeping with the subject 
and the occasion, the compass of his voice, 
and the peculiarities of the man. He was 



298 CONVERSION OP A SKEPTIC. 

an original thinker, and his elocution was 
faultless and of a pure solid cast, which never 
fails to leave a good impression on the mind. 
Although he spoke with such great force and 
energy, he was never boisterous or dogmatical. 

Mr. Baldwin was truly called of God to 
preach the gospel. In referring to this subject 
in a letter to his brother, Rev. A. G. Baldwin, 
an Episcopal minister, he says : 

" One of the early impressions upon my 
mind which deepened into a settled conviction, 
was, that it was the will of God that I should 
go and labor in his vineyard. Before I ob- 
tained religion, the question was brought 
home to me : Are you willing to give up all 
for Christ ? Have you made a full and entire 
surrender? Should God require your little- 
child, could you cheerfully give her up ? Are 
you willing to be anything or nothing for 
Christ's sake ? I felt that through Christ I 
could make any sacrifice which the gospel 
requires. Indeed, so plain and direct seemed 
to be the instructions and guidance of the 



THEOLOGICAL COURSE. 299 

Holy Ghost, that almost immediately after I 
experienced religion I made up my mind to 
forsake all and follow Christ, after which I 
soon felt an aversion for the profession of the 
law. I soon commenced calling sinners to 
repentance. I did not wait to go through a 
1 theological course/ believing if I was faith- 
ful that God would soon qualify me for the 
work to which T was called. But still I have 
not neglected the advice of Paul, the aged, 
to his son Timothy, ' Give attendance to read- 
ing, to exhortation, to doctrine.' M 

HIS SEPARATION FROM THE WORLD. 

Mr. Baldwin from the commencement of his 
ministry, felt most deeply 'his responsibility 
to God, as will appear from the following 
extract of a letter to his niece : 

Charleston, August 15, 1833. 

"If you have not already heard — you will 
probably be surprised at the intelligence con- 
tained in this letter. I have relinquished the 
practice of the law and am preparing to labor 



300 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

in another field — that of my Lord and Master. 
In a short period, by the grace of God, I expect 
to be a Methodist preacher. And I can assure 
you, that I enfer the itinerant field not with 
reluctance, but with a willing mind. I have 
said to the world, adieu — and a gulf already 
wide, which I pray God to make impassable, 
already separates me from its pleasures and 
its cares. Henceforth, I am unknown to the 
profession of the law, and I voluntarily and 
cheerfully take up my portion among a despised 
and persecuted people, but a people whom 
I believe are the chosen heritage of God. 
With them, I choose rather to l suffer affliction 
than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season, 
esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches 
than the treasures of Egypt, for I have respect 
unto the recompense of reward.' In giving 
up my profession with all its flattering worldly 
prospects, I assure you I do not feel that I 
am making any sacrifice, I do not cast back 
one longing or lingering look to its honors or 
rewards ; I am glad to be relieved of them all. 



MAKING MANY RICH. 301 

I am content to be poor — but I hope in Christ 
to "make many rich." If my Redeemer and 
Master will but own my labors, and give me 
one soul for my hire, I shall feel that I have 
not lived in vain. I know that the place to 
which I am called is one of great responsibility 
— that I have before me difficulties, and trials, 
and persecutions, yet I believe I shall be sus- 
tained amidst them all, and come off 'more 
than conqueror through Him that hath loved 
me and gave Himself for me.' 

"Thus you see what I am by external pro- 
fession. In spirit I feel that I am a ' child 
of God,' and that a mansion is prepared for 
me in heaven if I am faithful to the grace 
given unto me. I can say that I believe in 
the Son of God, and that 'I have the witness 
in myself — even the witness of the Holy 

Spirit — I FEEL DEAD TO THE WORLD. I Seem 

to myself a mere stranger and pilgrim on 

the earth traveling to a better country — 

' The land of rest, 
The saint's delight, 
The heaven prepared for me.'" 



302 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

HIS FIDELITY. 

He never trifled with immortal souls, but 
warned and exhorted all with whom he had 
personal intercourse, or with whom he was 
permitted to correspond on religious subjects : 

" Let me ask how is it with you my dear 
niece ? We have class-meetings in our church, 
and we inquire into the spiritual state and 
condition of each member. Suppose, then, 
that you were now in class, and I were to 
address you, I should probably ask you the 
following questions : Were you ever deeply 
convicted of sin ? Have you ever sincerely 
and heartily repented of your sins ? Have 
you a lively faith in Christ? Have you ex- 
perienced the forgiveness of your sins? Do 
you enjoy peace with God, through our Lord 
Jesus Christ ? Have you the " fruits of the 
Spirit" — love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gen- 
tleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance ? 
Does the Spirit itself bear witness with your 
spirit that you are a child of God? Is His 



AN AFFIRMATIVE RESPONSE. 303 

love shed abroad in your heart by the Holy 
Ghost which is given unto you? If you 
answered all these questions affirmatively, I 
should then ask, Are you growing in grace 
and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, 
Jesus Christ? Are you leaving the principles 
of the doctrine of Christ and going on to 
perfection ? Are you perfecting holiness in 
the fear of God? If you answered these 
last inquiries affirmatively I should regard you 
as promising — if not, I should gently i admon- 
ish' you — 'That the earth which drinketh in 
the rain that corneth oft upon it, and bringeth 
forth herbs meet for them by whom it is 
dressed receiveth blessing from God, but that 
which beareth thorns and briers is rejected 
and is nigh unto cursing, whose end is to be 
burned/ But, beloved, we are persuaded better 
things of you, and things that accompany 
salvation, though we thus speak. I have put 
these interrogations that you may answer them 
to yourself. An affirmative response to the t 
first series implies conversion, or a state of 



304 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

justification, from which we ought to be con- 
tinually advancing to full redemption. 

"The christian life is a 'race' which we 
are exhorted to ' run, laying aside every weight 
and the sin which doth so easily beset us.' 
I fear too many of us attempt to run, carrying 
the ' weight' of pride, of worldly affection, 
and sinful desires, and make little or no prog- 
ress. Unless we 'forsake all,' we cannot be 
the disciples of Christ. Everything must be 
given up for Him. He must be taken as our 
only portion — OUR ALL. 

" I fear that there are too many who profess 
religion, whose hearts are too much set upon 
the world. They have great respect for religion 
and much reverence for the sanctuary of God, 
but they do not know what it is to have the 
love of God shed abroad in their hearts. They 
are not willing to give up all for Christ. They 
are not 'crucified to the world.' They are 
as fond of wealth, of pleasure, and of worldly 
honors and distinction as they were before 
they made a profession. There is a religion 



FASHIONABLE RELIGION. 305 

of a fashionable sort that is hard to define. 
It has not even the external form, much less 
the c power of godliness.'' The only distinction 
between professors of this kind and the moral 
portion of the community that make no pre- 
tension to piety, is, that they have attached 
themselves to some church which they attend 
with punctuality. It is a rare thing to find 
a true, self-denying disciple of Jesus Christ. 
What a small proportion to those who are 
so only in profession. 'Be not deceived.' 
Many in the day of judgment will recount 
the wonders which they have done in Christ's 
name, and yet He will declare, 'I never knew 
you.' " 

Mr. Baldwin was a good pastor. His views 
touching this subject may be gathered from 
the following extract, on his appointment to 
Charleston circuit: — 

a Iam now at my field of labor, and, thanks 

be to God, in good health. As far as I can 

learn, my appointment here gives general 

satisfaction, and hopes are excited in the 

20 



306 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

church that God will revive his work. May 
God give me grace faithfully to discharge my 
duty! I have many adversaries, but a clear 
conscience in the sight of God. ; The Lord 
is my light and my salvation, whom shall I 
fear ? The Lord is the strength of my life, 
of whom shall I be afraid ? ' I am not afraid 
of my open and avowed enemies, but the 
smiles of the world, they are more to be dread- 
ed than its frowns. I have many invitations 
given to visit irreligious families, given through 
mere politeness or a revival of former associa- 
tions. What shall I do 2 I will commit myself 
to God, and trust to be guided by His holy 
spirit. When there is a prospect of being 
useful I will endeavor to go, but I can not 
consent to pay visits of mere ceremony. Besides 
a criminal waste of time I should catch the 
spirit of the world, sink the ministerial 
character, lower the standard of gospel piety 
in the estimation of the ungodly themselves, 
and do injury to their souls. 

" I intend being an ' example of the believers 



ALWAYS BUSY. 307 

in word, in conversation, in charity, in faith, 
in spirit, in purity ; and to give attendance 
to reading, to exhortation and to doctrine ; ' to 
meditate upon these things, and to give myself 
wholly to them, that my profiting may appear 
to all. 'Who is sufficient for these things?* 
that God by his Holy Spirit may guide me 
unto all truth." 

Rev. Elijah H. Field, who was Presiding 
Elder of the district in which Mr. Baldwin 
labored, and who knew him well in public 
and private life, remarks : "His transition from 
the bar to the pulpit was as sudden as it was 
unexpected. In his new vocation, he was zeal- 
ous, indefatigable, and successful; He was 
4 fervent in spirit and diligent in business/ 
and he allowed nothing but an insurmountable 
difficulty to prevent the fulfillment of an 
engagement. He was always busy — -praying, 
visiting, studying, writing, or preaching — not 
one moment was permitted to go to waste. He 
prayed more frequently than any man I have 
ever known, with but one exception. He soon 



308 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

experienced the blessing of ' perfect love'' — 
professed and maintained it through life. When 
in Parkersburg station, a high school was 
projected of which he took the charge as 
Principal, discharging the duties of that office, 
as well as the pastorate, with acceptance. £ He 
coveted earnestly the best gifts,' and strove 
to excel, in personal piety and conformity to 
the will of God — for this he prayed; and in 
ministerial qualifications — for this he studied \ 
in usefulness to his fellow men — for this he 
laid all his talents, natural and acquired, intel- 
lectual and spiritual, together with his physical 
ability, upon the < altar,' and l occupied' them 
— doing 'whatsoever his hand found to do 
with his might,' until called to rest in heaven. 
His abundant labors wore upon his physical 
constitution, and his career was brief. His 
end was triumphant. Wishing you success in 
your enterprise, 

"I remain yours in love, 

"Elijah H. Field." 
Xenia X Roads. 



MY ORIGINAL DESIGN. 309 

I have no room to multiply testimonials from 
his co-laborers, having already extended this 
volume beyond my original design. It was 
not my intention to pronounce a eulogium on 
Mr. Baldwin. He needs none — "his record 
is on high.'' My object was to be useful — to 
write a book that would bless and benefit man- 
kind. Mr. Baldwin had no desire to die, until 
it was the will of God to sign his release. His 
views on that subject remind me of the fol- 
lowing interview between Mr. Whitfield and 
Mr. Tennent : — 

On a certain occasion several ministers were 
dining together. Among them was the Bev. 
Mr. Whitfield and the Kev. Mr. Tennent, Mr. 
"Whitfield spoke of the trials and labors of the 
ministry, and complained of the want of suc- 
cess, and then said, "I am weary with the 
burdens of the day. I am greatly cheered 
whenever I think that in a short time my work 
will be done, and I shall go and be with 
Christ." He then turned to the other minis- 
ters and asked them if they did not feel so 



310 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

too? They all said "Yes," except the Key. 
Mr. Tennent. He was silent and seemed to 
take no pleasure in the conversation. At last 
Mr. Whitfield tapped him on the knee, and 
said, " Well, brother Tennent, you are the 
oldest man among us — do you not rejoice to 
think that your time is so near at hand when 
you shall be called home ? " Mr. Tennent 
replied, " I have no wish about it." Mr. 
Whitfield then pressed it upon him, " Have 
you no pleasure in thinking of it?" Mr. 
Tennent answered, "No, Sir, it is no pleasure 
at all, and if you knew your duty, it would 
be none to you. I have nothing to do with 
death. My business is to live as long as I 
can, as well as I can, and serve my Master 
as faithfully as I can, until He shall think 
proper to call me home." Mr. Whitfield then 
said, " Suppose the time of your death was 
left to your own choice, would you not soon 
have it over?" Mr. Tennent answered, "I have 
no choice about it. I am God's servant, and 
have promised to do his business, as long 



HE LOVED TO PREACH. 311 

as lie keeps me in it." Then said Mr. Tennent 
again, " Now, brother Whitfield, let me ask 
you a question — what do you think I would 
say, if I was to send a man into the field 
to plough, and at noon should go into the 
field and find him lounging under a tree, and 
he should say to me, 'Mr. Tennent, the sun 
is very hot, the ploughing is very hard, I 
am tired of the work you have put me at, 
and overdone with the heat and burden of the 
day. Do let me go home and be free from 
this hard service.' "What would you say?" 
"Why," answered Mr. Whitfield, "I should 
say that he was a lazy fellow — that it was his 
business to do the work that had been appoint- 
ed him, until you should think fit to call 
him home." 

Mr. Baldwin never complained of the " burden 
and toils " of preaching, he did not desire to 
die to get free from doing the work of his 
Master on earth. He loved to work in the 
vineyard day and night, and intermitted not 
his labors, until the Shepherd of the flock 



312 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

called him home to his reward. The trumpet 
in his hand always gave a " certain sound." 
He was " faithful unto death." But his voice 
will never be heard again in the pulpits of 
Western Virginia, or on the banks of our 
beautiful Ohio. But we look upward and be- 
hold him before the throne, shining with the 
brightness of the " stars, forever and ever." 

There was once an old tradition or legend 
among the Tyrol Mountains, that on one of 
the inaccessible summits a trumpeter had taken 
his stand, and that the course of the world 
rolled on prosperously, or the contrary, accord- 
ing to the fearful tunes which he played. 
After blowing through the gloom and glory 
of this world, it is said he would blow a dirge 
so mournful and solemn for himself, that Death 
would refuse for a time to execute his com- 
mission upon him — hoping that Ms trumpet 
would wail again among the mountains. This 
is a beautiful thought when transferred to this 
minister of Christ : 









HIS TRUMPET SPEAKS NO MORE. 313 

" Blow, trumpeter, a peal 
Before the solemn knell 
Thy death note shall reveal, 
And ring thy sad farewell. 

******** 

" Blow trumpet — clarion — horn ! 
Like many waters crying, 
The doomed one to warn, 

And save a soul from dying. 
Blow rock and mountain, ramparts round, 
Till glory echoes back the sound. 

" Blow with your dying breath ! 
Fling on the midnight air 
The swan-notes of your death, 

And leave their echo there : 
The last shout of your sounding shell 
Shall blend with angel harpers well. 

" The trumpeter is dead — 

His trumpet speaks no more ; 
The gravel for his bed 

Was dug upon the shore — 
Yet signet, scepter, harp, and crown, 
' Upon his dying couch came down/ " 

I have now finished my task. I commend 
this little volume to the blessing of God, 
hoping, in the language of Johnson, " It may 



314 CONVERSION OF A SKEPTIC. 

give ardor to virtue and confidence to truth," 
and be the means of restoring many a wan- 
derer to the fold of Christ, 






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